A Foxes Tale
by GlamorousIndieRockAndRoll
Summary: I peer through the bushes. No, it's Foxface, standing in the rubble of the pyramid and laughing. It crosses my mind to reveal myself and enlist her as a second ally against that pack. I step forward. "What's your name?" Katniss teams up with Foxface.
1. Alliance

**I peer through the bushes. No, it's Foxface, standing in the rubble of the pyramid and laughing. It crosses my mind to reveal myself and enlist her as a second ally against that pack. I step forward. "What's your name?"**

**Okay this is my new story, basically when Katniss is considering teaming up with Foxface after the explosion she does in fact team up with Foxface. Foxface is one of my fave character's so I really wanted to write something about her. I'm not revealing her name just yet, I do know what it is and will add it further on in the story if people want me to continue. There may be a few changes but nothing major, I'm sticking as close to canon as I can. **

**This starts the morning after the explosion of the Career's supplies. Katniss is still allied with Rue. **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing of course! **

A Foxes Tale

Alliance

Katniss POV

When I open my eyes, the world looks slightly fractured, and it takes a minute to realize that the sun must be well up and the glasses fragmenting my vision. As I sit up and remove them, I hear a laugh somewhere near the lake and freeze. The laughs distorted, but the fact that registered at all means I must be regaining my hearing. Yes, my right ear can hear again, although it's still ringing. As for my left ear, well at least the bleeding has stopped.

I peer through the bushes, afraid the Careers have returned, trapping me here for an indefinite time.

No, it's Foxface, standing in the rubble of the pyramid and laughing. It crosses my mind to reveal myself and enlist her as a second ally against that pack.

I consider my options.

She's smart, smarter then everyone else in the arena I'm sure. She's fast and nimble as proved by her dodging the mines. She'd be a good addition to mine and Rue's alliance.

But on the other hand she's got that sly grin and she's good at slipping away from things unnoticed and staying away from danger. No doubt if I was in trouble she would run to save herself. Add to the fact I do not even know her real name, and do I really want to add herself to my alliance?

She'd be one less person I'd get to know and worry over, whether over her death or my death at the hands of her betrayal. I think she wouldn't hesitate to stick a knife in my back. With Rue who is small and 12, I know where I stand. This girl who looks small but her features so defined and sharp is older and wiser.

She'd help me fight the Careers and aren't they the main competition here? Born to severally maim, kill, slaughter.

I aim my arrow at Foxface's smirking body leant to dig something out of the blown up remains.

Before I can change my mind I step forward.

Foxface's POV

I'm laughing before I can stop. It's the first sound I've made in days and it sounds slightly manic even to my own half-deaf ears. But someone blew up the Career's food and although my food source is gone the Careers will also have nothing. And although the person who blew the supplies up survived they will surely have minor injuries at least, major if I'm lucky.

I clutch my stomach as I laugh, the crippling hunger pangs mixing with the joyful delight. For days I've been stealing food, not daring to risk nabbing weapons or anything the Careers would notice. I don't think Cato is mentally sane and I'm pretty useless with them anyway.

Still, I'm not about to let a good opportunity pass me by and I hop around the pieces of crates and netting scattered around the clearing. I know I have to be quick to get the things I want in case the Careers come back and when I catch the glint of a knife blade in the sun I snatch it without a second thought.

I forage around and discover a metal pot which will be useful, and even a half crushed packet of crackers. Crumbled but still edible.

I smile with delight and am too careless, not concentrating enough on my surroundings to notice the person behind me until they speak.

"What's your name?"

I freeze, body poised to run as I turn around, my eyes zoning in on the bow and arrow pointing at my chest.

Heart to be more accurate.

The girl from 12, Katniss I recall, is staring at me anticipating an answer.

"Why?" I finally answer, my voice thick from misuse. Despair floods my senses and I understand that in a few short seconds my life will be over. She got an eleven in training. She holds that bow with a look of natural ease and talent and she wants to know my name before she kills me.

My feet twitch with the automatic desire to run and I lick my dry lips. "You're just going to kill me" I slowly hop back a few steps, eyes never straying from the sharp pointy arrow. Would I be able to run fast enough to the trees without it piercing my back?

"No. I- I want to know if you'll be my ally. Help take down the Careers" Katniss says, eyes shining with determination. I laugh at the sheer ridiculousness of it before pausing to absorb the information.

She had a backpack that looked like it could contain food. I'm so desperately hungry. I presume from her ear she's gone deaf, a thin streak of blood she hasn't managed to wipe off from the explosion I'm sure she created.

She got an eleven in training and has food. Company for which I crave in this huge arena. Extra resources and weapons and more, a person to watch my back and defend me.

Or kill me when I'm defenceless, in sleep or merely walking with her. A split second decision would be all it take for the release and that arrow would fly into my skull and end my life.

Can I manage to trust the girl who has a hard look in her grey eyes? The girl who got a training score of eleven and vows to win for her little sister?

Her little sister wouldn't want to watch her kill someone would she? Perhaps she's murdered someone already.

Katniss is looking at me patiently, waiting for an answer and I feel vulnerable out on this plain when the Careers could return any second and I have nowhere to instantly hide. I have to decide quickly and I have to decide right.

"Okay" I say cautiously, stroking the knife blade across my fingers.

"Give me the knife blade" She says suspiciously.

"I'm not going to attack you" I say honestly as my eyes narrow. "And I would feel safer if you pointed the bow and arrow away from my heart"

She slowly points the arrow downwards. The wind catches the grasses, I hear them rustle and I look over my shoulder. Sure I see the black muscles of Thresh from 11 concealed in the lush shoulder-high wheat field.

"It's not safe here" I say and immediately sprint for the woods. I don't look to see if Katniss is following, out of habit purely focusing on my own reaction. And then almost stupidly I remember our alliance and turn around. I'm a fast runner from all my years dancing and it takes a minute for Katniss to jog up.

"You could have waited" She says then looks at me. "What's your name?" She repeats.

I just smile in return.

"I'm also allied with Rue" She clears her throat. "The little girl from 11"

"I know" I say calmly. "I saw you one night."

My finger traces the raised bump of a tracker-jacker sting and I barely keep myself from wincing at the dark pictures that drowned my mind that night.

Katniss nods. "I'm Katniss"

I smile. "I know". I think everyone knows the Girl on Fire at the Opening ceromonies, the girl who got an 11 in training.

"You know you have to tell me your name sometime. How else I am supposed to communicate with you?" She's starting to get annoyed.

"I'll tell you when I can fully trust you" I promise, dancing just out of reach of her if she decided to lunge.

She sighs and shrugs. "Fine" She gnaws at the meat in her hand and I try not to drool. She notices my expression and motions to her bag. "You want some?"

"I'm hungry" I admit and cautiously venture into her backpack, hastily grab a chunk and eat it. It's the most I've had in days and I can't stop the groan from between my teeth. A slight curl appears on the edges of Katniss's lips. Not quite a smile but not a frown or scowl either.

We meander down the river and she stops to wash, refill's her water canteen. She carefully cleans her ear as I try to stop my muscles from tensing in her closeness. It's good to have an ally, I remind myself. It will help much better in the short-term and long-term… well I don't have to think of that now. If anyone of us out of the two should survive it shall be her anyway. Even with my quickness of feet, I'm no match for her archery.

We continue in comfortable silence, and I notice the way her shoulder's pinch together and realize she feels the same as I. Both waiting for the other to call quits, announce it was a ploy and move in for the kill. But it's unwise for me as I'm weak and virtually weaponless with my knife blade, and she…well if she wants to attack me I'll be dead any time from my own stupidity. I always thought I was clever but I find myself rethinking this several times as we spot the boot prints and take off our boots and socks, travel barefoot up the stream. The cold water makes my toes curl in surprise, but it feels soothing, refreshing. As we keep going in a direction Katniss is fully confident on, my curiosity is piqued and I eventually break the silence.

"Are we meeting up with Rue?" I ask and she nods, frowning as she prods at her left ear.

We finally reach a stopping point as Katniss scales a tree after washing her jacket and hair, attending her wounds. She gives me some leaves to put on the tracker jacker sting and I nod in appreciation.

"Thanks"

She nods in reply, eating the second fish she speared earlier on in the stream. Almost as an afterthought she pushes some over to me. Careful not to take over my portion I nibble at it slowly. It's nice and I revel in it's taste, so different from the bland apples I've been stealing from the Careers. I offer up the half-crumbled crackers from the explosion site and we eat them ravenously.

She braids her hair and laces her boots, checks her bow and arrow. Constantly checks her ear for hearing improvement.

If I was her friend I would tease her with a smile, that sly grin people can never decide to trust or not. I would talk a lot and smile a lot like I do at home when I'm not surrounded by all my brothers.

But we're not friends, and we're in a fight to the death so I sit in the branch opposite and keep my mouth shut.

I swing my legs back and forth and try to mimic the routine I'd created for the mines. Really the remembrance of steps are easy, it's the execution of them that counts. The endless hours practising… the sore feet, calloused and cracked and red raw. The dreamy feeling, high euphoria when you're spinning around and you're in perfect control.

These Games have changed me already I can tell. Forcing me to be more mature, second guess things. I have slipped into the persona I so carefully crafted in my interview, although it did not come from just plain thought. I have always been sneaky, able to do things without notice. Really I'm just being myself which perhaps is even worse. Maybe, if I survive long enough and have the courage to kill someone, perhaps I will still stay myself. Laugh in the face of death, laugh at those defeated by it.

That frightens me more then I can comprehend, and I shake my head. I don't want to kill.

Katniss slowly peels and eats a handful of nuts, offers me some. I accept and chew them, trying to make them last as long as possible. We share the last of the food.

"I'll need to hunt more"

"I could steal some"

She looks as me if as she's deciding if I'm serious, which I am, before scattering mint leaves on the ground. Some sort of sign perhaps?

"For Rue" She notices me looking. "To know we were here"

I nod and dutifully follow her, my knife blade still pressed in my palm. I feel a bit safer knowing I have a little weapon and a powerful ally to protect me. Still… I'm still wary. Maybe Rue can help us bond.

But then again, what good will bonding do us when it will have to be severed roughly? Because rough it will be when the time comes. Whether down to Katniss or someone else, we are not both guaranteed to live.

Was I right to become allies with Katniss? Or should I have continued on my own, stealing and slowly starving?

No, at least I have food in my stomach. And if I'm really desperate, if I had to I could stab her in the back while she slept, despite the nauseous rolling of my stomach at the thought.

I just want to go home.

I want my Mom which is impossible of course.

In less then an hour we're in a small clearing with a built up stack of wood. I presume this was supposed to be one of the fires, people- I now know Rue, had set off earlier. But she obviously hadn't made it to this one.

"Was there a cannon shot earlier?" Katniss turns to look at me worriedly.

"No"

Her face relaxes slightly but still her jaw is tight. She creeps silently through shadows and I smile. This is something I can do, disappearing. I melt into the darkness like I'm part of it. Part of the background, nothing to see here… eyes always flickering past me… A bird sings and Katniss cocks her head. A bird, the same one on her pin is singing. A Mockingjay.

Katniss grins and heads in that direction.

She's almost forgotten me I can tell, when I appear beside her noiselessly. She sings back the note and the bird repeats it.

That's when we hear the girl screaming.

And it has to be Rue because she's the only little girl left. The only 12 year old in the arena who shouldn't be in the arena. None of should be here.

And Katniss is running and I'm scampering after her, regretting that it's probably the Careers and I don't want to die, I really don't want to die-

We burst into a clearing, see the little girl Rue entangled in a net.

"Katniss!" She screams, little tears rolling down her cheeks before the spear enters her body.

**So yeah that's the first chapter. If you like it send a review and I'll know to post more!**

**Love**

**Paula**

**xXx**


	2. Rue

__**Thank you so much for all the reviews! I've decided to carry on this story as you can tell thanks for all your positive and encouraging reviews. Here's the next chapter for you, enjoy! xXx**

* * *

><p><em><strong>Previously… <strong>_

_We burst into a clearing, see the little girl Rue entangled in a net. _

"_Katniss!" She screams, little tears rolling down her cheeks before the spear enters her body. _

* * *

><p><span>Rue<span>

The arrow soars through the air and skewers Marvel's neck. His fingers grip it and it snaps off. Blood gurgles deep in his throat and he froths pink spit at the mouth. I shudder as Katniss shouts at Rue, eyes flitting around the trees. Marvel collapses and gags, convulsing. I tiptoe forward cautiously, but the area is empty. I still lurk in the shadows of the huge trees as I tiptoe forward and Rue lets out a squeak of alarm.

"Katniss!" She sobs hysterically.

"Shhsh. I'm allied with Katniss" I whisper, creeping forward and sawing at the net with my knife blade. Katniss joins me, and when it's free I step back, not wanting to intrude on the poignant moment between the pair. I don't know this little girl and I would feel sour barging in on a heartfelt goodbye, because no doubt about it's she's dying. This is the Hunger Games after all.

I rifle through Marvel's pockets and find some dried fruit and knifes. He looks at me, gasping and jerking. I smile as I pocket the items and look over my shoulder, observe Katniss clutching Rue's hand desperately like she can transfer her strength to the dying girl on her lap.

"You blew up all the food?"

"Every last bit"

Their talking makes the smug smile slip off my face and I slip through the clearing noiselessly as Marvel's cannon booms. When the time comes for myself to die will Katniss do the same? Sing me to sleep as she is to Rue now?

Probably not, we barely trust each other as it is.

I hide behind a thick tree trunk, nestled in fallen pine needles. I try to block out the cannon and Katniss's absence. I wonder what she's done, fiddle with my jacket sleeves. My knife blade lays at my feet and my eyes constantly rove the trees for more Careers. When Katniss slowly hisses "Foxface!" about half an hour later I slowly stand up and walk in the direction of the voice. She scrubs at her red tinged eyes.

"I sang her to sleep and covered her with flowers" She says huskily and we walk in silence for a while. When she starts to climb a tree a silver parachute drops down at her feet and she picks it up. Bread.

"My thanks to the people of District Eleven" She looks up into the sky and I stare at the loaf of bread.

People from District 11 sent her bread? It was obviously meant for Rue, but instead of discarding it they sent it to her…

Katniss wordlessly scurries up a tree and wraps a belt around herself and her sleeping bag. I stare up at her in amazement.

"Both of us won't fit" She says, almost apologetic.

"It's fine" I say slowly. "I have a den somewhere but it's too far away now" I stare at the tree and bend one knee as I grab the trunk. I scrabble for a few seconds, trying to boost myself up before falling. I flex my fingers and try again.

"Do you want a hand?" Katniss asks after watching me struggle the third time.

"Please" I puff and she grabs my hand, yanks me up beside her. I slide to rest my back on the tree trunk, wobbly straddling a branch.

Katniss stares at me emotionlessly. "What happens if you fall?"

"I hit the ground" I say wryly and her upper lip twitches in a failed smile before she turns her back on me.

I hear the tearing sound of soft bread and my mouth waters. I close my eyes, the gentle breeze bringing a cool relief to the clammy atmosphere in the arena. Katniss doesn't offer me any bread and I don't ask. It's an unspoken rule that she gets all of it. She was Rue's ally and killed Marvel. I just cut the net and walked off. I let out a little sigh.

The anthem starts and the Capitol seal appears with Marvel's face and Rue's.

Six left.

Katniss's breathing deepens and slows down and I guess she's fallen asleep. I stare at the night sky and wish I could do the same. Maybe it's better if I can stay awake, help keep watch.

I wonder how life is back home. I wonder if Dad or any of my brothers will be watching me now. Jarrett certainly will, Alcandor probably not.

A bird caws and I almost topple out of the tree. Maybe I should go to the Career's camp now and steal some food… my stomach grumbles in agreement.

_Food…_

I stare at the ground; there's only one logical way down.

I brace myself, close my eyes and cling to the branch as I lower myself down. When my fingertips stretch to the limit I let go.

A few seconds later I hit ground with a soft thud, rolling on the balls of my feet.

It wasn't that bad actually.

I smile with relief and start to roam through the dark, so black I can't hardly see a thing.

I make my way in the general direction of the lake and am not surprised after an hour or two to hear footsteps in my direction. I slink into a thick bush, the branches scratching my face as I still.

"If I get 12 I get a good show" I hear Clove say.

Cato's shadow nods. "I just want Thresh. And that ginger girl. Why isn't Loverboy dead yet?" He mutters angrily. "I know where I cut him!"

"Well look on the bright side, it's a long suffering painful death which is what he deserves" Clove's voice turns from sickly sweet to dark and menacing and I shudder.

"That's what everyone deserves, that's what 12 deserves…"

"You just said that I could have 12!"

"I didn't say that Clove did I? I said-"

Their furious whispering fades into the distance as they walk past me. I let out the breath I was holding and count to 50 before shuffling out of the bush. A thorn imbeds itself in my shoulder and I hiss, digging it out as I start walking to their camp.

The weak moonlight shines on the lake and creates just enough light for me to see where I am going. I rummage around for a while, find an empty canteen to fill and an unopened silver parachute. I laugh as I take it, stuffing packets of dry food into my pockets and gnawing at an apple. Then I evacuate the area and wander back to the tree my ally is in. On the way I pause and fill my canteen, hoping Katniss will be kind enough to purify it with her iodine in the morning.

When I see the dark shape huddled in the tree I smile before realizing I can't get back up.

"Katniss" I whisper and she stirs. "Katniss!"

"Did you fall?" She murmurs.

"No I visited the Careers" I hold up the silver parachute in victory.

"What's in it?"

"Breakfast, hopefully"

"Do you need help getting up again?" She leans over and holds out a hand.

"Thanks" I say, shuffling to lean against the trunk I had two hours ago. "Night Katniss"

"Day" She corrects as the first hint of a paler sky shows above us.

I smile softly and dig my grime-filled fingernails into the bark. I daydream blissfully of dancing, and Aubrey and Caleb and Sorrel and Jay. Especially Jay.

And somewhere the line between reality and dreaming blurs and I fall asleep.

I wake up stiff, legs firmly clasped around the branch. I groan slightly as my joints click, and force them to co-operate. I forget for a moment about the previous alliance and choke back a surprised gasp at Katniss watching me from the next branch, face blank.

"Morning" She greets and I nod. She retreats back into silence and I squirm, feeling dirty in the arena with the ever-present dirt.

"I'm off to have a wash" I tell her and she doesn't answer. "Please could you put iodine in this?" I dangle the canteen in front of her and she nods.

So I leave her in the tree and go wash, I'm more then sure she can take care of herself and I think she needs time to grieve away from someone who could stab her.

Not that I would, of course.

I'm so paranoid even in this huge arena I barely spend time getting clean. I roll my trousers up and stick my legs in the cool water, clean my hands and face, wash my red hair. When I see Katniss through the trees I hurry after her without a second thought. She whips around when I appear by her side and I hold up my hands. She nods stiffly before shooting three birds with amazing skill. We walk in silence and when we find the third unlit fire from yesterday she starts it, cooking the birds. I twitch anxiously and look up at the smoke. What if the Careers come?

"Katniss-" I start.

"Let them come" She says coldly before wrapping the birds up and stuffing them in her backpack, going to the river to refill her canteen and get more supplies.

"I'm going to go for a while" I tell her and she looks up at me, debates internally to say something or not.

Katniss POV

I lost Rue, my little ally, my little friend and I don't want to lose another. I look at Foxface, the girl who still holds back her name and keeps her distance despite the alliance. I know I'm not the friendliest person, and the grief from Rue makes tears prickle my eyes. I blink them back knowing my glare is stony. Foxface looks at me as if waiting for me to reply.

"Be careful" I finally say, and cannot stress enough in those words what losing another ally in the space of two days would do to me. "I'll be somewhere around here"

A quick smile flits onto her lips before she hops away over rocks and roots.

She will be fine, she can look after herself I'm sure.

I spend my time cooking the birds, over-cooking them to try and get rid of the urge wanting someone to come. Anyone that came towards me now would be dead before they could say a word.

Regardless, as I wander around aimlessly with my bow and arrow I try and restrain myself for Foxface's return. Although now there's only six left I wonder when we will call quits and part ways or kill each other. I know it will be all too easy to release an arrow and watch it sink into her chest, the crimson staining the fabric of her shirt as she looks at me wide-eyed. That sly smirk on her face is gone and replaced with a look of terror as I watch her die, cease to exist…

I shudder and berate myself for imagining her death at my hands. With Rue I never had a single thought about it.

_But she was younger and more innocent… _

Foxface hasn't killed anyone to my knowledge, and I think if she did she would have told me by now. Or would she? She's sly, maybe she would tell me only as she held the knife against my throat after waking me from a deep sleep. Unable to move in my sleeping bag and my bow and arrow knocked to the floor as she looks at me desperately before her knife cuts my throat.

I replenish my supplies and refill my canteen at the stream, remembering at the last moment to purify Foxface's as well.

Surely a girl willing to risk her life to steal from the Careers is okay to trust?

Even though it's only early evening I climb a tree and settle in for the night, thinking of that boy from District 1 who was my first kill. He had a family, maybe a brother willing him to come home just like Prim… and I didn't even know his name.

I remember the way his spear impaled Rue and how easily I could imagine it as Prim, and slowly the disgust vanishes leaving me empty.

The Capitol anthem starts but no deaths have occurred today. I imagine the Capitol audience must be getting bored, a thing that solidifies when I hear the sound of trumpets. Once in a while when the Gamemakers want to shake up the arena and the tributes a bit, there is the sound of trumpets followed by an announcement. Usually pointless and designed to create more gory deaths.

I barely listen as Claudius Templesmith's voice crackles overhead and informs us of a rule change.

He repeats it again and I listen more intently, my deaf ear straining to hear and reaffirm what I just heard. Because that couldn't be true.

Two people from the same District couldn't be both Victors.

Before I can stop myself call out Peeta's name.

* * *

><p><strong>In case you couldn't tell, I'm ending each chapter how they end in the book. Next update will be soon, I have most of the next chapter written :) I think you'll probably find out Foxface's name in chapter 4 or 5. <strong>


	3. Peeta

**This is basically just a filler chapter, hope you like it. x**

* * *

><p><strong><em>Previously...<em>**

_He repeats it again and I listen more intently, my deaf ear straining to hear and reaffirm what I just heard. Because that couldn't be true._

_Two people from the same District couldn't be both Victors._

_Before I can stop myself call out Peeta's name._

* * *

><p><strong><em><em>**Peeta

Foxface POV

I arrive back just in time to hear Katniss yelling Peeta's name.

She slams a hand over her mouth and I laugh as I dance over to her. She looks at me astonished.

"Help me find him" She begs, looking down on me from where she lays strapped in the tall tree.

"Okay" I nod. "It's not like I can find my District partner"

My fool of a District Partner Luc went and got himself stabbed by Azure from 4 before he got killed by Thresh in the bloodbath.

"I'm sorry" Katniss frowns and I shrug.

"We didn't really know each other. But Peeta loves you doesn't he?"

She nods. "I love him too" She tells me and I eye her carefully as I nod.

"I know"

She doesn't love him. Not like he loves her. Sure there may be a spark of attraction there, of friendship or casual acquaintances. But I don't think she likes him like he loves her.

Maybe I'm wrong, but I don't think I am.

"In the morning" Katniss yawns as she helps me up into the tree. "And I'll help you climb trees too"

I snicker slightly before falling asleep.

The next morning dawns bright and early. Katniss wakes me up with a shove of my shoulder that almost knocks me out of the tree.

"Morning" I mutter and she smiles. The first genuine smile I've seen the whole time I've been in the Games.

"Morning" She greets. "Shall we open your parachute?"

"Sure" My stomach grumbles as we open it and sigh lovingly at the dessert in front of us. Strawberries and chocolate cake, drizzled with cream and chocolate sauce…

"Save it for dinner" She orders even as I stare at it longingly. I'd never had chocolate cake before I'd come to the Capitol and I loved it already after only two pieces.

"Okay" I sigh. It makes sense, even though I really love chocolate cake. Besides it's something to motive me and look forward to… I better not die before I eat that chocolate cake.

I laugh and Katniss looks at me quizzically.

"The Careers could have had chocolate cake. And I stole it"

Her lips twitch in amusement before she descends the tree easily.

I close my eyes before hanging from the branch and jumping.

"You'll break your neck doing that" Katniss tells me.

"Better teach me to climb and descend then" I counter and we stare at each other, the first tendrils of friendship curling around us as we smile.

"Where do you think he is?" I ask as we walk around the forest.

"I don't know" She looks around, grey eyes narrowed. "Let's try the stream, the last time I saw him was the tracker jacker attack and he would need to be around water to survive"

"He couldn't have gone far" I agree. "Cato slashed his leg and there was a lot of blood-"

She winces and I stop talking.

I dance ahead, skip over rocks and roots, pausing when Katniss sets off a small fire. We hike through the terrain, sweat making my clothes stick to me. I'm not out of breath but I'm thirsty, so grateful Katniss has iodine to purify water. It tasted weird and made my stomach nauseous when I drank from the ponds and stream, but what else could I do? I left the Cornucopia with nothing.

We walk for about an hour and I start to really hate the arena. Sure trees are great and I'm all for nature but I'm yearning for home. Oh what I would give for a dance floor…

I walk through the leaves, my boots leaving no footprints on the dry muddied floor. I can hear birds in the trees and smell my own sweat and some sort of tree. I can see- oh those berries look nice.

"Don't pick them" Katniss warns. "They might be dangerous" She peers at them like she's trying to attach a memory to it. "If you're hungry we still have that parachute you got from the Careers"

She looks at me sternly as we slosh through the stream.

"They didn't see me and all's fair Katniss, we're in the Hunger Games"

"I just thought it would be better if you managed to kill them"

I laugh loudly as I navigate through the weeds tangling my feet. "Katniss have you seen the size of Cato's muscles? I'd be no match. Evade not attack" I tell her wisely and she nods, scrambling out of the river and staring at a rock that has a smear of blood on it.

We move in that direction slowly, the rocks large and very lethal looking. If someone managed to dislodge that and pushed it in my direction…

I shudder as Katniss bends to look at more blood smears. This one had a bit of fabric attached.

"Peeta!" She whispers. "Peeta!"

A mockingjay lands next to us and starts to mimic her and I snort with laughter. She shoots me a furious glare and I immediately stop.

"Sorry" I murmur and she doesn't even acknowledge me behind her.

We move towards the water again.

"You here to finish me off sweetheart?" I turn around wildly as I heard the weak voice. Where was he?

"Peeta?" Katniss says tentatively. "Where are you? Peeta?"

We creep back along the bank.

"Well don't step on me"

He camouflaged himself into the side of the river. Katniss gasps and I'm pretty sure I'm just stood there gawping. How did he do that?

Peeta laughs and I see a glint of white teeth.

"Close your eyes again" Katniss demands and he disappears.

"Wow" I breathe. That's even better then my technique of hiding.

Katniss kneels beside him. "I guess all those hours of decorating cakes paid off"

My ears prick up at those words. He decorates cake? I wonder if he does chocolate cake?

Peeta smiles. "Yes, frosting. The final defence of the dying"

"You're not going to die" Katniss tells him stubbornly.

"Says who?" He sounds so weak.

"Says me. We're on the same team now, you know" She says.

His eyes open. "So I've heard. Why is the other girl here?" He looks at me apologetically. "I'm sorry I don't know your name"

I stare at him incredulously. He looks like he's dying and is apologizing because he doesn't know my name, a girl in a game that could kill him right now if they so wanted to.

Katniss POV

"She won't tell me her name" I say mulishly and Foxface smirks. That sly smile is really irritating sometimes. I grit my teeth and focus on Peeta, pulling my water bottle out and letting him drink. "I'm allied with her. She tells me Cato cut your leg"

"Left leg. Up high" He answers.

"Let's get you in the stream, wash you off so I can see what sort of wounds you've got" I say.

"Lean down a minute first" I lean and put my good ear close to his lips, which tickle me as he whispers "Remember we're madly in love, so it's all right to kiss me any time you feel like it".

I jerk my head up but end up laughing. "Thanks I'll keep it in mind"

My eyes drift to Foxface to see if she heard but there's a cool calculated look in her eye that doesn't reveal anything. She merely shrugs and helps me drag Peeta to the stream.

"Look Peeta, I'm going to roll you into the stream. It's very shallow here, OK?" I say.

"Excellent" He says.

"On three" I look at Foxface who nods. "One, two, three!"

We roll him once and stop because of the awful screams that tears its way from him. He's sat on the edge of the bank now, which is maybe better.

"Ok change of plans. I'm not going to put you all the way in"

"No more rolling?" He asks.

"That's all done. Let's get you cleaned up. Keep an eye on the woods for me ok?" I turn to look at Foxface who nods.

It's hard to know where to start. He's so caked with mud and matted leaves, I can't even see his clothes. If he's wearing clothes. The thought makes me hesitate for a moment, but then I plunge in. Naked bodies are no big deal in the arena, right?

I've got two water bottles and Rue's water skin. I command Foxface to fill them and we work out a system of using and refilling them. It takes a while but I finally get rid of enough mud to find his clothes.

I gently unzip his jacket, unbutton his shirt and ease them off him. His undershirt is so plastered into his wounds I have to cut it away with my knife and drench him again to work it loose. He's badly bruised, with a long burn across his chest and four tracker-jacker stings, if you count the one under his ear.

But I feel a bit better. This much I can fix.

I decide to take care of his upper body first, to alleviate some pain, before I tackle whatever damage Cato did to his leg.

I manage to prop him up against a boulder and he sits there uncomplaining while I wash away all the dirt from his hair and skin. I dig the tracker-jacker stings out but give him the leaves in return. While he dries in the sun I and Foxface wash his filthy shirt and jacket.

I apply burn cream to his chest and realize how hot he has become. He's burning with fever, so I rummage around for temperature loss tablets.

"Swallow these" I say and he obediently takes the medicine. "You must be hungry"

"Not really. It's funny, I haven't been hungry in days"

He rejects the groosling and I don't miss Foxface eyeing it from a few rocks away where she's sprawled out on look-out.

"Peeta we need to get some food in you" I insist.

"It'll just come back up" He says, but I eventually get him to eat some dried apple pieces. "Thanks, I'm much better now really. Can I sleep now Katniss?"

"Soon" I promise. "I need to look at your leg first"

The deep inflamed gash oozes blood and pus. The swelling of the leg and the scent of the festering flesh makes me want to run away. I'm not like my Mother and Prim who are born healers.

I hear Foxface gagging behind me. She manages to hold onto her breakfast and I hope I can do the same.

"Pretty awful huh?" Peeta watches me closely and I try to conceal a grimace.

"So-so" I shrug like it's no big deal. "You should see some of the people they bring my Mother from the mines. First thing is to clean it well"

With each bottle I pour over him the worse the wounds looks. The rest of his body has fared pretty well, just one tracker-jacker sting and a few small burns that I treat quickly. But the gash on his leg… what on earth can I do for that?

"Why don't we give it some air and then…" I trail off.

"And then you'll patch it up?" says Peeta. He looks almost sorry for me, as if he knows how lost I am.

"That's right" I say. "In the meantime, you eat these" I put a few dried pears in his hand and go back to check on Foxface who had meandered back to the stream and washed the rest of his clothes.

"Thanks"

"No problem" She says quietly. "Want me to help?" Her eyes linger on Peeta who tries to smile. She automatically softens. Peeta has that effect on people, I admit grudgingly. You can tell how good Peeta is from those warm and gentle blue eyes.

"Maybe. Keep watching those trees"

She nods as I go back to Peeta.

"We're going to have to experiment some" I tell him after the first kid reveals nothing of use. I grab some tracker-jacker leaves and press it on the wound. Within minutes pus begins running down the side of his leg.

"Katniss? How about that kiss?"

I laugh, sure I look green.

"Something wrong?" He asks innocently.

"I…I'm no good at this. I'm not my Mother. I've no idea what I'm doing and I hate pus. Eughhh!" I groan as I rinse away the leaves. "Eughh!"

"How do you hunt?" He asks.

"Trust me. Killing things is much easier than this" I say. "Although for all I know I could be killing you"

"Can you speed it up a little?"

"No. Shut up and eat your pears" I say.

After three more rounds of leaves and what seems like a bucket of pus, the wound does look better. I can finally see how deep Cato's sword cut.

Right to the bone.

"What next, Dr Everdeen?" Peeta asks.

"Maybe I'll put some burn ointment on it. I think it helps with infection anyway. And wrap it up?" I say. I do, and the whole thing seems a lot more manageable covered in white clean cotton. Although, against the sterile bandage the hem of his undershorts looks filthy and teeming with contagion. I pull out Rue's backpack.

"Here, cover yourself with this and I'll wash your shorts"

"Oh I don't care if you see me" Peeta says.

"I have four brothers" Foxface suddenly speaks up. "I can help if you want"

"I'm fine" I say, perhaps more harshly then I intended because she stares at me before slowly wandering down the stream.

"She was only volunteering to help" Peeta frowns.

"Well she's not from our District" I say it like it settles everything, and it does in my eyes. If Peeta survives this we could be joint victors. Foxface is the lone tribute from 5 but when we kill Cato and the girl from District 2 we'll separate. We both know we trust each other only for advantage in the playing field. Although... No. We're not friends, she won't even tell me her name.

"You know you're kind of squeamish for such a lethal person" Peeta changes the subject wisely as I scrub at his undershorts he threw into the stream.

"I wish I'd let you give Haymitch a shower after all"

I wrinkle my nose at the memory. "What's he sent you so far?"

"Nothing" Says Peeta and there's a pause as it hits him. "Why, did you get something?"

"Burn medicine" I say almost sheepishly. "Oh and some bread"

"Have you got anything Foxface?" Peeta tries to join her in our conversation as she warily approaches and she angles her face slightly towards us.

"No. I stole parachutes from the Careers though" She smiles impishly and he laughs weakly.

"Clever"

A small flush rises on her cheeks. "Thank you" She says softly, and that word sounds loaded with emotion I can't figure out.

"I always knew you were his favourite anyway" Peeta turns back to me.

"Please, he can't stand being in the same room as me" I say.

"Because you're just alike" Peeta mutters. He falls asleep soon after and I wander over to Foxface, sit beside her on the large rock she's perched on, dangling her feet in the stream.

"Is he okay?" She asks and I nod.

"Hopefully"

"Are you okay?" She examines me closely.

"Yes" I say defensively. "I'm just worried about him"

Her lips tilt upwards slightly before she closes her eyes, face tilted upwards at the blazing sun.

"He'll be fine with you helping him"

"Thanks" I say wryly. "Although I don't know if I'm helping exactly"

She turns to look at me, strange amber eyes glittering. "You're doing more then what anyone else would do. If Luc was still alive…" She trails off contemplatively and I wonder if she would have gone back for her partner or not if he were still alive.

"Would you?" I ask after a few minutes. "Go back?"

"Yes" She decided. "But we wouldn't last long"

"Why?"

She looks at me incredulously. "District 5, Katniss"

"Me and Peeta are from 12. Our tributes normally die in the bloodbath too" I remind her.

"But you have skills. You can hunt and Peeta can camouflage. Luc couldn't do anything and all I do is steal"

"You're good at it"

"That's what four brothers does to you" She responds before lapsing into silence.

"Are you okay?" I repeat the question she told me.

"I'm in the Hunger Games" She replies in answer and when she doesn't look like she's going to elaborate on that I go wake Peeta up.

Foxface POV

I like Peeta, I think everyone does. He has this way of making you feel special when he talks to you, like you're his complete centre of attention. I like that. It feels different. It feels nice.

"Peeta we've got to go now" Katniss shakes his shoulder a while later and I yawn lazily from my rock.

"Go?" He says blearily, confused. "Go where?"

"Away from here. Downstream maybe. Somewhere we can hide you until you're stronger"

"We're good at hiding" I promise and Katniss helps him dress while I pack everything else up.

When she pulls him up his face drains completely.

"Come on. You can do this" She encourages.

He can't, a fact which was painfully obvious from the very beginning.

"Stop" I say and wade around in front of them, water bubbling around my ankles. "Katniss we can't carry Peeta like this. We're going to have to make a chair" I heave Peeta's arm around my neck and grab Katniss's arm. "Ready?"

She nods and Peeta grips the back of my neck in shock as we lift him. I choke and the grip loosens.

"Sorry" He flashes me that cute smile and I smile back.

"It's fine"

Katniss watches me with lips pursed. I don't like him like that, I want to say. I just think he's a genuinely nice person unlike others who just pretend to be.

But I say nothing and focus on carrying Peeta. Mine and Katniss's hands become sweaty and we wobble dangerously as we climb out of the stream and stop for a breather.

"There" Katniss jerks her head to indicate the small cave near us.

"Wait, let me go check it out"

She frowns. "What do you-"

I scurry up the rocks and look at the cave, crinkling my nose. It's not very big- would it fit all three of us? Probably not.

"Wait there" I shout to Katniss and Peeta. "I'm going to see if there are any bigger ones!" I keep travelling up the embankment and twist through a slender gap between two huge boulders. I get on my hands and knees and crawl through the muddy entrance, coming out into a huge cavern.

"Woah" I breathe and decide to poke around a bit. It's like an underground maze… there's a little gap that we could easily make into a fire pit if we scraped the roots covering the top of the ceiling away, and there's small spaces around the cavern to put our equipment and sleep…

I hurriedly wriggle out again and rush down the slope.

"I've found the perfect place!" I smile eagerly. "Come on!"

Katniss looks at me critically even as she helps lift Peeta again who is staring around half-unconscious.

We manoeuvre ourselves slowly through the rocks and when we get to the tiny gap Katniss pauses.

"Now what? You can't expect Peeta to get through there with his leg"

"Put him on the floor Katniss" I say slowly and she does as I ask, staring at me warily.

I shuffle back into the cave and turn around. "Now lay him out and give me his arms"

She does as I say and winces when Peeta wakes up with a jolt.

"What's happening?" He says.

"We're getting into the best hiding place ever" I tell him and Katniss slowly picks up his feet when I ask.

"Now really carefully…" I breathe and inch by inch slide backwards until we have Peeta in the cave. Pale-faced and shivering Peeta gasps for breath and Katniss wipes her forehead before looking around in amazement.

"How did you find this?" She stares at me and I shrug.

"I can squeeze into small places"

I drop our backpacks and equipment in the corner.

Katniss suddenly turns and heads back out again, coming back a minute later with pine needles to scatter on the floor. Then she unwraps the sleeping bag and tucks Peeta into it. She manages to put a few pills and water in him without him noticing but he refuses to eat anything.

"Katniss" He says and she brushes hair back from his eyes. My cue to leave I think.

"I'm going out" I announce and slip outside, go to the toilet and have a wash.

I don't want to mess up the romance when clearly the lovers from 12 can live. Maybe Katniss will kill me now she's got what she's wanted, but no we agreed until we got rid of the Careers...

After half an hour of laying on a rock and staring at the darkening sky while nearly falling asleep, I nimbly climb back up to the cave and meet Katniss staring at a silver parachute.

"What's in it?" I ask dumbly.

She shrugs and unwraps it, stormy eyes lighting up in pleasure before we hurry back in.

"Peeta!" She says sweetly, voice filled with earnest love and pleasure. She kisses him awake and he stares at him as she holds up the pot of broth.

"Peeta, look what Haymitch has sent you"

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><p><strong>Next chapter includes a touching moment between Peeta and Foxface and secrets hidden from others... <strong>

**Till next time!**

**xXx**


	4. Lies

**Thank you for all the reviews! **

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><p><strong><em>Previously...<em>**

_"Peeta!" She says sweetly, voice filled with earnest love and pleasure. She kisses him awake and he stares at him as she holds up the pot of broth._

_"Peeta, look what Haymitch has sent you"_

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><p><span>Lies<span>

I fall asleep after two seconds of listening to Katniss trying to convince Peeta to eat the broth. I'm cold but it's better then falling asleep in trees and this cave… why didn't I find this before? The tiny hole I squirmed into before I teamed up with Katniss was painful whereas this is just like luxury in the arena. Despite the cold. Maybe I could steal a sleeping bag from the Careers…

I dream of dancing with Mom, and the sun is shining. Our laughs echo in my ears even as I blearily open my eyes.

It takes me a second to shake the remnants of the dream away and remember where I am.

Katniss is asleep and Peeta's watching outside, leant across the entrance of the cave. I cough slightly, throat dry as I scrabble for my water canteen.

"Did you sleep well?" Peeta murmurs as he studies me closely.

"Yes…surprisingly" A faint smile creeps on my face. "And you?"

"Better then expected" He tells me and I slowly edge closer to him.

"Are you thirsty? You should drink" I offer him the canteen.

"I've already drunk some"

I stare at him disbelievingly but say nothing. His gaze flickers back to Katniss and he smiles. She's nestled up in the sleeping bag, face serene. No fierce scowl.

"How long have you been allies?" He asks.

"Three days now" I reply. "We're going to take down the Careers together"

"Through stealing and shooting?" Peeta says and I nod. "Nothing wrong with that" He leans back against the cave wall.

"Camouflage too" I add and he smiles, eyes fluttering shut as he basks in the sliver of sun.

"Why won't you tell us your name?" He says suddenly, gaze searching me.

I'm quiet for a long time, mull over whether I should even tell him the reason. Is it ridiculous my reason?

"Because… then it becomes more personal" I finally murmur. "We'll actually trust each other and when I die…" I trail off. "I saw what happened when Rue died. When Glimmer and Marina died. People pretend they don't care but they do however deep down. And really we're not here to be friends are we? To trust each other will probably end up with a knife in the back. It's the Hunger Games"

"But you already trust Katniss or you wouldn't be here at all" He whispers.

We fall silent. I know what he just said is true.

"You hardly know me enough to form an opinion, but I hope it's a good one. I haven't killed anyone either. The girl from 8.…" He swallows thickly. "I won't kill you. If Katniss trusts you, I trust you. And I think you and Katniss trust each other a lot despite the circumstances"

I can't speak for Katniss, but I must admit to myself that my grey-eyed ally from District 12 is slowly gaining my favour. Giving me food, water and not shooting me with an arrow helps of course.

But if Katniss knows my name everything will become more real and we'll be expected to be firm allies with no plans to walk away. We'll become closer then the tentative link we have now and when one of us dies… what if none of us die, and we become the final three? Would I be able to kill the people who have so far given me food and supplies? Who have helped me survive more efficiently then I alone could in this huge arena this deep in the Games?

I wouldn't be able to now, with a rational mind and clear thought. But after all the bloodshed withstanding us if we make it to the end, will my opinions change? Will I be able to kill Peeta with no second thoughts and remorse? Certainly Katniss will be able to kill me…

Maybe Katniss doesn't even want me in the alliance anymore now she has Peeta.

I can just go back to being Foxface from 5.

Invisible and mysterious.

The end result is still the same. If I stay here or depart I will still end up in a box under the ground in District 5. Certainly staying here will ensure supplies and company however much they could be tricking me.

I can see the love in Peeta's eyes, see the fierce determination in Katniss's. I am merely just an object now, in the way of their winning. But if I stay here perhaps they'll make my death quick and painless.

"There can be two victors Peeta, not three" I point out, and realize how long I've been thinking. The sun is brighter then ever and his eyelids have slid shut. He flutters them open to look at me.

"And it could still be you"

I smile wearily. "My District Partner is dead Peeta"

"But you're not" He gives me an encouraging smile and suddenly, stupidly my eyes are filling up with tears. I crawl past him and dart out, knocking his leg which makes him wince. And then I'm feeling a stab of guilt for hurting him and I shouldn't even be thinking that when we're in the Hunger Games!

"Wait Foxface!" He calls but I ignore him, fleeing automatically. It's not like he's going anywhere on that leg, and even if he sends Katniss to find me I doubt she would try that hard. Would Peeta want to wake Katniss up in the middle of resting anyway?

I end up wandering down the river, soon sweating profusely in the midday sun. I strip my jacket off and tie it around my bony waist. I regret not bringing my water canteen as my mouth turns dry.

I kick pebbles as I walk, a headache soon pounding. I stop to rest under a tree and decide I have nothing better to do so might as well see what the Careers are up to. Or Thresh…

I shudder and start to walk in the direction of the lake. Inside the forest is easier, the sun shining less vibrantly on me and making my forehead send shafts of pain through my body.

When I reach the large plain where we started the Games I lurk behind a tree and squint to see Cato and Clove talking angrily, obviously disagreeing over something. I edge in a large circle, getting down on my hands and knees until I find a few large bushes that will provide cover. A puddle of stale blood makes the ground red in the corner and I realize this must have been where Katniss hid after the explosion. Just before we made the alliance.

"Look Clove here's the plan. We hunt down Thresh, in the night when he's asleep-"

"You think we'll be able to get him when he's asleep?" Clove snorts. "If you're too much of a wimp to go now in the daylight where he can see you-"

"I'm not a wimp!" Cato snarls and shoves her backwards. "I just think-"

"You obviously don't think do you?" Clove lips twitch into a smirk before she starts laughing. Cato glowers.

"Shut up"

She just laughs louder, howling as she grabs a knife and sharpens it. She nicks her finger and Cato grabs it.

"Now look what you've done" He sighs and then licks the blood off her finger. A lazy smile spreads on Clove's face and they stare at each other as he licks his lips.

I pull a disgusted face before going. I do not want to see anymore of Cato's blood fetish.

I circle away from them and look at the huge field of grass Thresh is hidden in. if I could climb a nearby tree perhaps I could observe him, see where he is.

But Katniss hasn't taught me to climb trees so I can't.

I decide to venture in anyway, tiptoeing into the straw like grass. There's no path and my feet crunch horrifically. I take off my shoes and start to crawl, tiny bugs staring at me. It's like hide and seek when I was younger except a lot more deadly. The orange and yellow grass flattens as I squirm along. I've never seen grass like this before, I wonder what people use it for?

The sun is hot on the back of my neck and sweat trickles down my top as I look around. Nothing but grass all around. Grass and hard packed dirt that slowly gets more muddy the further I crawl. I can smell a sharp sticky scent that makes my nose itch and my eyes burn. I bite my lip to contain a sneeze, wishing there was some wind to disguise my shuffling. Maybe Thresh is asleep, maybe I should just leave right now... Stupid, so stupid, why did I come in here anyway?

_Because you wanted some adventure,_ a snide voice in the back of my head tells me. _You weren't content with Katniss asleep and Peeta dying so you decided to creep around and get into trouble. _

I've never had a voice in my head before which is kind of scary. Maybe it's my conscience, or more likely one of my brothers. It does sound like Alcandor actually which is more then disturbing...

My lips are dry as I keep going on. How far have I travelled? How has he not found me? Maybe I should get out... where am I though?

I splutter as an insect with wings flies into my mouth. I cough and start choking, eyes watering as I plead not to be heard, nobody heard that little cough. That little coughing sound was an insect or something. Not me.

I tense in the grass for a minute before I hear loud footsteps storming towards me and then I'm bounding up and sprinting, pushing grass away frantically and I think I'm lost-

"What are you doing?" He growls and I turn around wide-eyed. Why did I leave the safety of Katniss and Peeta?

Thresh is going to kill me. I look at his large bulky frame, the golden eyes glittering wildly, chest heaving in exertion.

I'm speechless, trembling. I stumble backwards a step, the grass rustling. I'm cornered and he knows it. The muddy ground crumbles beneath my feet as I inch backwards and I slip, sock clothed feet scrambling for a secure hold. My hands hold limply onto the shoelaces of my shoes.

"I thought you were a Career" He jerks his head up. "Did they come in here too?"

I shake my head violently, head spinning and sending flashes of pain.

He opens his mouth to say something else and I flee, running and running through a never-ending field. It makes my headache even worse, like one of those nightmares where you never actually move you just think you are.

I don't hear him pursuing me and so when I feel the sharp pain in my ankle I gasp in shock.

The green and muddy brown snake hisses, tongue flickering. It's yellow fangs are dripping red blood, _my _blood… I look down at the bite. It's beady eyes glare at me.

I slowly get up and inch around it as it curves upwards, starts to strike again. I'm too quick for it but I can hear it slithering after me. I force my weak limbs to co-operate and somehow I'm out of the maze of grass and am fleeing past the Careers. I hear Clove yell but she fades into the distance. I'm running faster then ever, chest aching painfully as I gasp for breath. I scramble into the cave.

"Foxface?" Katniss frowns. "What happened?"

I shake my head and suck in oxygen, looking at the bite mark on my leg.

"Do you- have any - bite cream?" I manage to choke and she rummages around for a while before handing a small unopened tub to me. I apply it with shaky hands before slumping back against the cave wall as I recover my breath.

"I went to see the Careers, and I went into Thresh's field…"

"Thresh!" Peeta's eyes go large. "What happened?"

"He saw me but he didn't attack me" I frown. "I ran and then got bit by a snake"

I gesture to the bite mark.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Katniss frowns and I nod. My heard swirls sickenly and I take a deep breath. She opens her mouth to say something else but is interrupted by trumpets.

"Welcome remaining tributes! I'd like to invite you all to a feast!"

Katniss waves her hand dismissively at Claudius Templesmith's voice.

"Now hold on. Some of you may already be declining my invitation. But this is no ordinary feast. Each of you need something desperately"

Katniss's eyes drift to Peeta's leg, which looks nasty. I shudder.

"Each of you will find that something in a backpack, marked with your district number, at the Cornucopia at dawn. Think hard about refusing to show up. For some of you, this will be your last chance"

"No" Peeta grips Katniss's shoulder and she jumps. "You're not risking your life for me"

"Who said I was?" She replies and I snort.

She's a bad liar. Really bad.

"I'm going to have a wash" I say quietly and leave them to argue. Dawn's not far away. Of course the best thing to do is to go before dawn so you can scope out your opponents. But how to get your pack first, assure nobody else gets it? Hmm…

Katniss joins me after a while, kneeling besides me next to the stream.

"I saved you a bit of food"

"Thanks" I splash water onto my face.

"Peeta says you were talking earlier on…" Her grey eyes bore into me. "I don't know why, but I trust you Foxface. Call me crazy I know, but I have a feeling if you wanted to kill me you would have done it already. Right?"

I nod. "Yes"

"And I hope you know I don't kill my allies" She eyes me.

"Like Peeta" I murmur.

"And you" She reminds me. "We're supposed to take the Careers down right? Maybe this feast will let us-"

"I'll stay behind to look after Peeta" I offer. "I don't mind going without. My pack probably won't have anything in it anyway"

I absently itch my bite-mark.

"Don't do that it makes it worse. And I'd really appreciate you looking after Peeta while I get the medicine. He really needs it, he's got blood poisoning" She grimaces just before a silver parachute floats down. She yanks it from the water and opens it.

"It's sleeping syrup" Her eyes light up with a plan and I nod, hoping she doesn't know me as well as she thinks. Surely she doesn't think I'll stay with Peeta and let her go off alone? Certainly she has skills with a bow and arrow but if she goes charging in she'll die.

You need to be sneaky. You'd need to go early and then get the bags before anyone else could. Do something like hide in the trees. But other people would be in the trees around the Cornucopia-

A smirk spreads across my face.

Katniss misses it, mashing up some berries and mint leaves.

"Don't tell Peeta" She warns. "Or do I have to give you some too?"

"No" I say innocently. "I'll make sure if he does wake up he won't drag himself after you"

Katniss nods satisfied and I follow her to the cave where I watch her hand them to Peeta.

"They're sugar berries. My mother makes jam from them. Haven't you ever had them before?" She pushes a spoonful into his mouth.

"No" He says puzzled. "But they taste familiar. Sugar berries?"

"Well you can't get them in the market much, they grow in the wild" She shoves another spoonful down his throat and I tense.

She can't lie at all.

"They're sweet as syrup" Peeta's eyes widen as he realizes and he tries to vomit the stuff up but he's already falling asleep. He looses consciousness and Katniss wipes stray berry off his chin. I slowly take my knife out.

"Who can't lie Peeta?" She says satisfied. I grip my knife harder, sidle towards her.

"I'm sorry Katniss" I say and she frowns at me.

"Wha-" I slam the handle of the knife into the side of her forehead and she crumples backwards to rest against the cave wall. A trickle of blood slides down her cheek from the already bruised lump and I gently mop it up, put a bandage over the wound.

"Who can't lie Katniss?" I mimic and look at them both for a moment before leaving for the Cornucopia.

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><p><strong>The next chapter is the feast, where things might deviate from cannon a bit but not much. You will learn Foxface's name next chapter!<strong>

**Want to take any guesses? I can guarantee you won't guess it haha :)**

** Hope you enjoyed this chapter! **

**Love**

**Paula**

**xXx**


	5. Feast

**Hey so I know I said you would find out Foxface's name in this chapter, I split it in two so you will find out in the next one promise :)**

**Thanks for all the reviews so far, I h****ope you enjoy this different Feast experience! **

**xXx**

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><p><strong><em>P<em>_reviously..._**

_I slam the handle of the knife into the side of her forehead and she crumples backwards to rest against the cave wall. A trickle of blood slides down her cheek from the already bruised lump and I gently mop it up, put a bandage over the wound._

_"Who can't lie Katniss?" I mimic and look at them both for a moment before leaving for the Cornucopia._

* * *

><p><span>Feast<span>

I scramble down the rocks, feet accustomed to all the nooks and crannies even in the dark, and try not to feel guilty over double-crossing Katniss like that. It's not like she couldn't have had an inkling of suspicion, she knows I'm good at deceiving.

The arena is so cold my air shows in white clouds and I shudder, wrapping my arms around myself as I hop through the forest.

The grass is sticky with dew and I stop to retie my bootlaces, eyes flickering around anxiously. The knife in my pocket is heavy and bangs against my hip as I walk, probably leaving a bruise but making me reassured I have a weapon.

By the time I reach the Cornucopia it's about midnight and I shiver from the cold as I watch the moon rise and hour by hour slowly fall. I fall into a lazy stupor and have to pinch myself to be alert. What day is it now in the Arena? I'm so close to the end, the final six... I wonder if my Mom was watching, what she would think of it all. My alliance with Katniss and Peeta. Surely my brothers are anxious so late on in the Competition. Perhaps my Dad has a glimmer of hope that I might come home, however slim.

I know however, that all hope will be lost in a few days. My family must know I cannot survive the Careers, Thresh, my allies- in hand-to-hand combat. I only excel in hiding which is weak as far as survival techniques fail. I remind myself I've made it this far using my wits and ability to sneak but how long until my luck runs out?

My feet are numb and my hands are almost blue and trembling as I hear the birds start to sing.

I look around eagle-eyed, spot a flash of black hair that must be Clove hiding behind a tree. She's playing with a knife as she grins manically. I see no sign of Katniss and Peeta obviously, or Thresh and Cato.

I press more firmly against the cold metallic wall of the Cornucopia, obsessively tracing the cold ridges with my trembling fingers as I wait.

My chattering teeth sink into my chapped lips and I lean forward as the ground before the Cornucopia splits in two and a round table with a snowy white cloth rises into the arena. On the table sit four backpacks, two large black ones with the numbers _2 _and _11_, a medium-sized green one with _5_, and a tiny orange one that must be marked with _12_.

The table clicks into place and I leap off the Cornucopia and sprint for the table, slinging my backpack over my back and grabbing the 12 one and slinging it around my wrist before running into the trees. Gasping for breath, knees weak from my abrupt jump and run, I carry on running until I fear I'm going to collapse.

As an afterthought I run down to the Career's camp and nick two spare sleeping bags. Luckily they're not too heavy and I tug one of the straps over my shoulder with my backpack, the other on my other side. Now Katniss and Peeta don't have to share one and I get my own…

I start to make my way back to the cave, stopping every few minutes to listen for any cannons.

I'm stopping a moment to rest and hear Cato's grumbles before I see him, eyes glittering with bloodlust as he spots me.

"What?" His expression is comical, jaw dropped. "You-" His fists scrunch up furiously. "You're stealing our stuff!" He roars. "I'm gonna kill you!" He sets after me with a rapid pace.

My breath comes out in one big gasp as I run through the trees blindly, unable to process anything except- _I can't lead him to the cave. _

I turn left so unexpectedly Cato skids to a stop and looks around wildly before following me. He's not even annoyed, he's grinning at the promise of prey.

Well sometimes the prey gets away.

I duck under low branches, thorns nagging my hair and yanking tuffs out of it. One thorn scratches my eye and I squeal, hands shooting out to protect myself. The branch whips back and cuffs Cato in the stomach. He lets out a low snarl and I hear him batting the branches out of his path like they are nothing.

I shudder, turning around to see how far behind he is when I get my feet tangled in roots and trip, bashing my shoulder on a rock as I half slide down the hill.

The leaves crunch as Cato storms after me, struggling to stay upright in the mud. I pant for breath, one eye watering painfully. I shake my head and try to stop my hair flying in my face as Cato puffs.

"You- stupid-fucking-" He starts cursing me as I stumble at the bottom of the hill before sprinting again. My head is pounding and my heart is thudding in my ears so loudly I wouldn't be surprised if Cato could hear it.

Cato suddenly pauses, cocking his head.

"Clove!" He suddenly yells and scrambles back up the bank. He turns to look at me, a dark hulking mass as he points a finger at me. "I'll be back later" He warns darkly. "And I'll enjoy killing you"

If he catches me.

He disappears and I run for a few more minutes before staggering to a stop, half-mad breathless laughs falling from my lips as I collapse, choking on relief. The adrenaline makes me shake and I clutch at myself bewildered I'm still alive.

Had Thresh got Clove?

I laugh giddily before slowly getting up and making my way back to the cave.

When I get there, Peeta and Katniss are still knocked out and I scramble in with trembling legs. I cut open the bag for _12 _and see the needle. I shudder as I stare at it before I jam the needle into Peeta's arm. I slowly press down on the plunger and try not to loose the food in my stomach. I toss the sleeping bags to the side and take massive gulps of water from the canteen, almost forgetting about my own bag as I survey Katniss and Peeta. Katniss's head has swollen and bruised horribly and I feel a spasm of guilt again, followed by a surge of smugness. I survived and both District 12 tributes are safe.

Even I'm safe… for now.

I open my backpack eagerly and grin with delight. I have my own thick jumper, big enough on me to reach my thighs and double as a blanket. And I have a small piece of _apple pie. _

I stare at it wide-eyed. How long has it been since I've had a proper dessert? _Apple pie… _

It reminds me instantly of the chocolate cake we stole from the Careers. I narrow my eyes and stare at the silver parachute in the corner. Hmm Apple pie or Chocolate cake?

I'll share the cake with Peeta and Katniss, this Apple pie is _mine. _

I immediately strip my sweat-soaked jacket off and snuggle into the jumper, zipping it up to my chin and curling up next to Katniss. I play around for a bit, shuffling to get my sleeping bag exactly how I want it. I peel off my muddy boots and massage my cold feet, taking off my socks to let them dry. Then I snuggle in the sleeping bag cross-legged and take the glass cover off the dish of apple pie.

I take a deep sniff, inhaling the scent and remembering memories of this rare treat at home.

I sigh and grab the accompanying silver spoon, not pausing to even breath until I'd finished the whole thing.

Katniss POV

I wake up with a pounding headache. It vibrates through my body, my limbs limp and useless. I let out a tiny groan and flutter my eyelids with as much strength as I can manage. After a few minutes I manage to look up and see the cave wall above me. I slowly roll to one side, my forehead giving a jolt of pain. I grit my teeth and look at Peeta. His cheeks are a healthy pink and his lips are twisted into a small smile in sleep. Gone is the tense look on his forehead as he tries to hide the pain in his blood-poisoned leg.

Wait…

I blink blearily, see the small orange backpack on the floor with a needle discarded by the side.

I look around dizzily and see Foxface curled up in a ball, a light smear of something - crumbs? crusted on her upper lip as she huddles into a huge thick jumper. I notice belatedly the dark number 5 backpack… she must have gone to the Feast.

What did she do to me?

I touch my forehead where the pain is worst and feel a huge bump, a dried trickle of blood. I manage to take a sip of water and lean against the cave wall, straining to see through the black spots that keep invading my eyesight.

I stare at her until she twitches uneasily and opens one amber eye.

"You're awake" She notes, voice muffled as she slinks further down into her sleeping bag. I don't even want to know how she got back unscathed. Wait… I peer at her. Is it just an effect of the head wound or does her eye look red? Not that it even matters because-

"You went to the Feast" I glower.

"You were going to get yourself killed. Nobody even came after me, I got both of our packs and I didn't get hurt" She reassures me.

"How?"

She smirks. "I hid in the Cornucopia"

I stare at her in surprise, admiration, jealousy and frustration. "You thought of that? Why didn't you tell me?"

"You wouldn't have let me do it" She points out. "And you were so focused on Peeta you would have gotten hurt"

I glare at her but she just stares back silently, rubbing her red eye. "I stole you a sleeping bag too" She points tiredly to it, almost falling asleep again as I take another sip of water.

"Cato tried to kill me" She says and I gag.

"What?" My head and ears ring as I choke. I clear my throat and stare at her. "You didn't think to tell me this before? What if he comes here?" I stare anxiously at the cave entrance.

"Relax" Foxface tells me. "He couldn't catch me and he ran back to Clove. I didn't even lead him here, I ran the opposite direction"

"Huh" Is the most I can contribute to the explanation. I black out a minute later.

I wake up to water trickling down my nose, dripping onto my lips. I stir and my eyebrows pull together in annoyance.

"You'll make your head worse" Peeta soothes as he gently cleans my wound. I wince as he starts to apply a bandage. "She gave you a nasty bump"

"Really?" I say grumpily as he helps me rest back against the cave wall. "I'm fine now. Honest" I tell him as he fusses over me. We take a moment to survey our ally.

Foxface is curled up asleep again, looking the best I've seen her in the short time we've been allies. Her hair is mud splattered and her boots beside her are even worse. Scratches decorate her face and I stare at them feeling a mixture of relief that that was the only injury she received but guilt that that was the injury she received.

"She's clever" Peeta smiles. "She woke up for a while earlier on and explained what happened. We-ah- shared a bit of Chocolate cake" He looks at me sheepishly. "We left you some. She stayed in the Cornucopia all night and then-"

"I know" I tell him. "She's reckless. She could have gotten hurt"

Peeta turns to stare at me. "I won't say anything else about it, but you were also going to go without me"

He does as he says and doesn't mention it again, offering me some groosling and raisins to nibble on.

We talk quietly in hushed voices and when Foxface twitches and starts stirring we fall silent.

She opens one eye, her hand flying to the other.

"Ow" She mumbles. "Morning"

Me and Peeta share a smile. "Afternoon actually"

"Afternoon then" She scrubs at her eye and when she puts her hand down I see it's watery and bloodshot.

"That looks bad"

"I ran into a branch" She states, in that way that makes me unsure if she's telling me the truth or not. Peeta has the same predicament and makes a small smile before inquiring if she's okay.

"What did you get in your backpack?" I ask curiously. "Aside from your jumper that is"

Her eyes dance joyfully. "Apple pie. It was still warm" She sighs lovingly. "And then I ate Chocolate cake too… we left you some"

"I know"

Her eyes turn hazy in some distant memory before she stretches, lazing in her sleeping bag as she looks out of the cave.

"Looks like it's going to rain"

I nod. "Maybe I should go hunting"

"Yeah" Foxface cringes. "I don't think I should go near the Careers anytime soon. Did I miss a cannon?"

"No why?"

"Well Cato was following me and then turned back to Clove. I figured she was in trouble but I didn't want to go check" She shrugs, fire-red hair rippling down her back before slowly untangling herself from her sleeping bag and raising her canteen to her lips. She frowns and shakes it.

"Do you guys need a refill?" She grabs our canteens and crawls out of the cave.

"She's nice. Not as nice as you though" Peeta grins at me, eyes glittering, and all I can feel is relief that Peeta is finally recovering. Even my anger at Foxface duping us has faded. I named her after her wiliness, how could I not suspect she would have a plan up her sleeve?

"Thanks" I tell Peeta. We sit in comfortable silence. "We still need to figure out how to get Cato and Clove"

"Maybe Thresh will manage to simultaneously destroy both of them?" Peeta hopes and I shake my head.

"Doubtful. Thresh might be able to fight off one but two Careers at once?" I feel saddened by the thought, despite not personally knowing Thresh. I have a feeling that, if he lived back home in District 12 we would be friends.

Foxface brings back our water canteens.

"Thanks" Peeta smiles and she nods, deep in thought.

We sit in silence for a minute, the rumbling of our stomachs the only thing breaking it.

"Perhaps I go hunting now?" I offered and stiffly grabbed my bow, ignoring the slight ache my head gave in protest.

Peeta's arms tightened around me. "No Katniss it's too dangerous. I'm not letting you go alone"

"I'll be fine" I protested. "Foxface tell him"

She seems to be weighing the options up in her mind. "I can't steal from the Careers now because it's too dangerous. I'll go hunting with Katniss and you can stay here"

She looks at Peeta with shiny amber eyes. "Could you start a fire for us?"

Peeta sighed heavily. "I can't convince either of you can I?"

"I'll be fine with Katniss" Foxface tells him. "And Katniss will be more then okay with her bow and arrow. You've seen the way she shoots haven't you?"

Peeta chews his lip for a minute, mulling it over.

"Okay" He finally says. "But don't go far. And as soon as my leg is healed I'm coming with you"

"Agreed" I say firmly, although I have no intention of ever letting him come hunting with me. I have no idea how Peeta is at stalking but he comes from the Town where people venturing into the woods is a mere myth, nothing to take seriously because why would they need to find food when it's right there in their laps?

Foxface I can tell is nimble and quick footed. I don't know what she does back at 5 but it's something fast and delicate.

I'd guess at dancing but I'm not too sure. Whatever the reason, her quickness and evasion is her weapon.

I sling my canteen into my bag and hoist it onto my shoulders. Foxface follows me after waving bye to Peeta. I kiss his forehead and brush a blonde curl back.

"We'll be fine" I whisper.

"You better" He murmurs. "Hurry back"

My lips etch into a smile despite myself and I squeeze out of the cave.

Foxface is already ahead, jauntily dodging boulders as she makes her way to the river.

"What are you going to shoot?" She asks curiously after we wander slowly into the woods, following the direction of the river.

I shrug. "Whatever we can find" I whisper almost noiselessly, bow strung and arrow awaiting to be released.

After two hours we find nothing and we rest for a while beneath a willow tree. The sky is a murky grey and has an ominous feeling to it, automatically making the hairs on the back of my neck prickle and rise.

"I know a place" Foxface says hesitantly, breaking the silence we'd previously held. "Thresh's field has some bread plant or something… in it. We could go there"

"Thresh will be there" I point out. "And the Careers"

"You're right" She sighs and I study her carefully, eyes narrowed. "Let's go back, Peeta will be getting worried"

We go back to the cave empty-handed and I'm suddenly ravenous. The Chocolate cake Foxface stole from the Careers was luxurious but not filling.

Peeta who was overjoyed to see us back safe and sound, puts an arm around me. I sink into his embrace and my eyelids soon grow heavy.

When I wake up Foxface is gone.

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><p><strong>Hmm so where do you think Foxface has gone? ;) <strong>

**Next chapter you finally find out her name! The story from now on will be differencing from canon a bit but not much. Clearly Clove is still alive... I figured if Katniss wasn't there to get almost tortured Thresh wouldn't have overheard her taunting her about Rue and bashed her skull in. **

**Hope you enjoyed the chapter,**

**Love**

**Paula**

**xXx**


	6. Storm

**I saw the movie last night! Katniss! Peeta! Foxface! Thresh! Cato! Clove! It... wasn't what I was expecting but it was still good. I expect it wasn't as good because the UK cut seven seconds from it grr. Still loved the scene with Katniss and Foxface :) **

**A big thanks to TwilightFreakNumberOne for the helpful advice! You find out Foxface's name this chapter! I hope you like it, I personally think it's perfect but that's just me... **

**Anyway enjoy! **

**xXx**

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><p><em><strong>Previously...<strong>_

_We go back to the cave empty-handed and I'm suddenly ravenous. The Chocolate cake Foxface stole from the Careers was luxurious but not filling. __Peeta who was overjoyed to see us back safe and sound, puts an arm around me. I sink into his embrace and my eyelids soon grow heavy._

_When I wake up Foxface is gone._

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><p><span>Storm<span>

Foxface POV

Cato and Clove's path of destruction is clear. The long grass is hacked at and bent, crushed beneath heavy uncoordinated feet as they rush to kill one of their fiercest opponents left.

Their whispers ahead seize and I automatically stiffen in turn, grass hovering in my face and tickling my nose. The night sky is dark and I hear more rumbles of thunder in the distance.

I tiptoe after Cato and Clove as they prowl around. "Where is he?" Cato demands.

"Shut up" Clove hisses. "Or we'll never get him"

Rain starts to fall, making me want to forget my previous plan of getting food. I'll have to go hungry for a while, I can do that.

Warm sticky rain slides down my clammy face and I hear an animalistic roar as Thresh spots them.

My hair sticks to my face and slides in my mouth as I hear the clang of metal against metal and the scraping of human flesh, sickening howls and manic laughter.

I flinch, sinking into the mud and fingernails cutting into an ooze of damp grass and leaves.

I don't know how long I sit there, frozen but when I hear the whoops and celebration laughter my limbs unlock and I slowly scrabble backwards behind a thick tree.

When they come past, Cato limping and Clove hissing in pain at the huge bump on her forehead that's bleeding profusely, I circle the tree trunk and press against it as still as stone. My foot twitches involuntarily and a twig makes the tiniest snap. I jerk my head back and it slams against the tree as I see Cato's head swing in my direction. I hold my breath, knowing his eyes pierce right through me, _at _me. My heart thuds loudly and I will it to quieten, sure Cato can hear it.

Clove distracts him by growling in pain.

"Cato I need a bandage." She demands and I can instantly tell when his cold eyes slowly flicker from my hiding place back to her.

"Yeah." He says absently and they prowl back to their base camp.

I heave a sigh of relief, chest bursting and sweat trickling down the base of my grubby neck. I frown at my aching head and rub it, slowly stepping away from the tree and looking down on the field of grass. The red stains gurgle into a river of blood and I follow it even though it's unwise.

I know it's stupid but I can't just leave him to die there _alone._

I stumble across the field wildly, the brown mud and scarlet blood equal parts slippery. I end up on my backside more then once but I eventually manage to get to him, almost falling on top of him. Instead I crawl beside him in the mud and stare at him softly. His strange golden eyes flicker and turn to look at me. He gurgles deep in his throat in question, and fumbles at the knife near him. I grab it and fling it away. No weapons.

Cuts and bruises mar his dark skin and the sword sticks in his gut covered in entrails that are a pulsating wreck of pink and red and white organs, skin, life. I gulp, a sour taste in the back of my throat.

Thresh's eyes are slipping shut, but he holds onto life as long as possible with dimming strength. I smile at him, and I don't care that my hair's wet, or that Cato and Clove might be near, I just want to make sure that I can be there for someone when they're dying.

Nobody should die alone.

I shake my head and refocus on Thresh who let's out a low groan even as his lips flicker with appreciation. I know he's trying to say thank you in the only way he can. My throat aches and tears well up in my eyes for him, memories of - I squeeze my eyes shut briefly and reopen them. Thresh's eyelids are closed, mouth tilted into a smile. His cannon booms a second later almost inaudibly and I'm instantly thinking of him as a _corpse _when he was a human being like myself mere seconds ago.

I sluggishly get up and wipe my face, mud streaked over my cheeks.

This is what the Games does to you, it twists you and manipulates you until you're not a person anymore. You are nothing at all. You don't care about death when you should.

I walk away from the field and vow never to come back. Hot tears threaten to spill over my eyes and I blink rapidly, the storm overwhelming my senses and masking my sobs.

I clasp a hand over my mouth and bite my knuckle, resolve to stop crying. If I keep crying I'll lose focus and die.

I can't let that happen to Dad, to my brothers.

I take my time walking back to my allies, lost in memories and unable to decipher if they're sweet moments or muddled imaginings of a past life.

"I'm so tired Dad." I whisper, closing my eyes as the back of my head throbs. My limbs feel weak and twitchy, always so paranoid. Blood paints my trousers and boots fearsome looking, but with the flip of a coin weak and helpless. A victim or survivor?

A bit of both.

I get to the river which is quickly overflowing and scramble through, skin tearing on sharp pointed rocks. I wince and try to shake my dark hair out of my face, wiping my hands on my shirt and starting the hike to the cave.

My stomach twists painfully with hunger and I squeeze it as if I squeeze hard enough the pain will go.

When I get to the cave my chest stirs strangely at the sight of Katniss staring at me worriedly, grey eyes dark with concern.

"What happened?" She looks at my blood stained clothes.

"Don't go out there." I warn, gasping as my body is wracked with shivers. I strip my jacket and trousers off and crawl into my sleeping bag, famished and exhausted both physically and emotionally.

Katniss POV

"Are you okay?" I ask as Foxface curls up in her sleeping bag pale-faced.

"I'm fine." She says thickly and I peer at her more closely, narrowing her eyes. Has she been crying?

She rolls to face the cave wall and my stomach groans with hunger.

I welcome it with a sense of normality in this second-guessing arena. Who would have wagered I'd have allied with a girl from 5 and not managed to die in the process? Who would have wagered she wouldn't kill me as soon as my back was turned?

Foxface squirms uneasily, a small whine coming from the back of her throat. I slowly hum under my breath. Beside me Peeta's cold hand clutches mine and I gasp. His eyes sparkle and I slowly smile despite myself. We have a real chance of going home now, both of us.

"I'll be on watch." I tell Peeta. "Foxface has been out so we should let her rest for a while."

Peeta nods. "Wake me up in a few hours."

He closes his eyes and accompanied with my humming soon falls asleep. Foxface appears to be resting more peacefully too, and I watch the storm brewing outside wrecking havoc on the arena.

I'm halfway into my watch, eyes itching with tiredness and closing gradually when Foxface bolts upwards, eyes wide and fearful.

I look at her as she looks around, gasping for breath.

"Are you okay?" I ask and she nods.

"Yeah." She says shakily. "I was just remembering…" She swallowed thickly, blinking rapidly. "Nothing. Never mind."

She takes a sip of water from her canteen and huddles back into her sleeping bag. I watch her eyes, glassy and staring up at the ceiling of the cave.

She doesn't sleep all of that night.

The next day passes boringly and our stomachs gradually become more and more louder, demanding our attention and food.

Haymitch or Foxface's mentor are our only hope but Foxface has received nothing yet except her present at the feast and nothing is forthcoming for any of us as the day wears on into evening and there's no break in the rotten weather.

Either Haymitch is not sending anything because of lack of money - everything will cost an exorbitant amount- or because of dissatisfied with our performance. Probably the latter. I'll be the first to admit we're not exactly riveting today. Starving, weak from injuries, trying not to reopen wounds. We're sitting huddled together in the sleeping bags, yes, but mostly to keep warm. Certainly the Capitol audience don't expect Foxface to join in on the star-crossed lovers romance. I shudder before I can stop myself and Foxface and Peeta look at me expectantly. I shrug it off, the most exciting thing all three of us do is nap.

I'm not really sure how to ramp up the romance. The kiss last night while Foxface was out was nice, but working up to another will take some forethought. There are girls in the Seam, some of the merchant girls, too, who navigate these waters so easily. But I've never had much time or use for it. Anyway, just a kiss isn't enough any more, clearly, because if it was we'd have got food last night. My instincts tell me Haymitch isn't just looking for physical affection; he wants something more personal.

The sort of stuff he was trying to get me to tell about myself when we were practising for the interview. I'm rotten at it, but Peeta's not. Maybe the best approach is to get him talking.

"Peeta" I say lightly. "You said at the interview you'd had a crush on me for ever. When did for ever start?"

"Oh, let's see. I guess the first day of school. We were five. You had on a red plaid dresss and your hair… it was in two braids instead of one. My father pointed you out when we were waiting to line up" Peeta says.

"Your Father? Why?" I ask.

"He said 'See that little girl? I wanted to marry her mother, but she ran off with a coal miner,'" Peeta says.

"What? You're making that up!" I exclaim.

"No, true story" Peeta says. "And I said , 'A coal miner? Why did she want a coal miner when she could have had you?' And he said, 'Because when he sings… even the birds stop to listen.'"

"That's true. They do. I mean, they did," I say. I'm stunned and surprisingly moved, thinking of the baker telling this to Peeta. It strikes me that my own reluctance to sing, my own dismissal of music might not really be that I think it's a waste of time. It might be because it reminds me too much of my Father.

"You lost your Dad?" Foxface asks softly and I nod tensely.

"It was a mine accident" I say tightly, getting slightly claustrophobic just thinking of the- "Why?"

Her pointy shoulders heave upwards and then down. "Just wondered" She murmurs, eyes focused on her bootlaces.

"Anyway, that day in music assembly, the teacher asked who knew the valley song. Your hand shot straight up in the air. She stood you up on a stool and had you sing it to us. And I swear, every bird outside the windows fell silent," Peeta says.

"Oh please" I say, laughing.

"No, it happened. And right when your song ended I knew - just like your Mother - I was a goner," Peeta says. "Then for the next eleven years I tried to work up my nerve to talk to you."

"Without success," I add.

"Without success. So, in a way, my name being drawn at the reaping was a real piece of luck," says Peeta.

Foxface nods absently and I'm left working my way through thoughts. There was a red plaid dress once, washed to rags after my Father's death.

"You have a… remarkable memory"

"I remember everything about you." says Peeta, tucking a lock of hair behind my ear. "You're the one who wasn't paying attention."

"I am now," I say.

"Well I don't have much competition here"

I swallow hard and get the words out. "You don't have much competition anyway"

Our lips have barely touched when the clunk outside makes us jump. Foxface skitters to the entrance and disappears into the rain.

There's a cackle of delighted laughter before she hops back in with a parachute.

She opens it and finds a feast - fresh rolls, goats cheese, apples, and best of all, a tureen of that incredible lamb and dried plum stew on wild rice.

"I guess Haymitch finally got tired of watching us starve." Peeta says happily, face lit up like the sun.

"I guess so." I answer.

"My mentor is incredibly patient" Foxface murmurs wryly and I laugh.

"You can have some too. Let's share it out…"

We share it out and take small portions so it doesn't come back up.

I savour the taste and Peeta draws me into conversation again as Foxface licks her lips with a small pink tongue. I noticed she took less then what I and Peeta got but we're allies. Surely she understands now that we share things equally?

"How do you think he did it?" I ask after a while.

"Who? Did what?" Peeta asks.

"Haymitch. How do you think he won the Games?" I say.

Peeta considers this for a while before he answers. Haymitch is sturdily built, but no physical wonder like Cato or Thresh. He's not particularly handsome. Not in the way that causes sponsors to rain down on you. And he's so surly, it's hard to imagine him teaming up with anyone. There's only one way Haymitch could have won and Peeta says it just as I'm reaching the conclusion myself.

"He outsmarted the others." says Peeta.

"It's a good tactic." Foxface says, a smile playing on her lips. "My Mentor, Ailey, she won the 56th Games."

"How did she win?" Peeta asks.

"She waited for the Careers to kill everyone else off and then when they were asleep she knocked out the guard and flung burning sticks into their tents. They all died within minutes." She shuddered and the conversation drops.

About half an hour has passed before I decide I have to eat again. Peeta's too hungry himself to put up an argument, and Foxface agrees with anything connected to food. While I'm dishing up three more small servings of lamb stew and rice, we hear the anthem begin to play. Peeta shuffles to the entrance of the cave to watch the sky.

"There won't be anything to see tonight," I say, far more interested in the stew then the sky. "Nothing's happened or we would have heard a cannon."

"Katniss" Foxface says quietly.

"What? Should we split another roll too?" I ask.

"Katniss," Peeta tries this time, but I find myself wanting to ignore them.

"I'm going to split two. But I'll save the cheese for tomorrow," I say. I see Peeta and Foxface staring at me. "What?"

"Thresh is dead" says Peeta.

"He can't be," I say. "I never heard a cannon"

"The thunder disguised it" Foxface says. "During the storm"

I stare at her closely, does she know what happens? I wouldn't be surprised, she did go out for all that time and came back stained with blood.

"Did you kill him?" I blurt before I can stop myself.

"Katniss" Peeta says levelly, shooting an apologetic glance at Foxface who looks at me, face pale.

"No" She says. "I heard Cato and Clove butcher him"

Her words are tinged with a painful edge and she refuses to speak for a while after.

"You all right?" Peeta asks and I shrug. I have to bury the real pain, because who's going to bet on a tribute who keeps snivelling over the deaths of her opponants? Rue was one thing. We were allies. But no one will understand my sorrow at Thresh's murder. The word pulls me up short. Murder! Thankfully, I didn't say it out loud. That's not going to win me any points in the arena.

What I do say is, "It's just… if we didn't win…I wanted Thresh to. Because of Rue."

"Yeah I know. But this means we're one step closer back to District Twelve"

Foxface flinches but Peeta has his back to her as he nudges a plate into my hand. "Eat. It's still warm."

"It also means Cato and Clove will be back hunting us"

"And they've got supplies again" Foxface adds. "I saw them…they were wounded, Thresh put up a good fight."

"We better be extra careful about the watches. I dozed off a few times."

"Me too." I admit. "But not tonight."

We finish our food and Foxface offers to take first watch.

Even with her on guard I can't make myself fall asleep, so I stay up for a while, thinking of home. Me and Peeta are so close to the finish line now, I wonder what District 12 will be doing.

"Caru" Foxface says after a while, staring out of the cave into the night.

"What?" I blink, completely zoned out.

"My names Carumati but you can call me Caru" She confesses.

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><p><strong>I hope you like my choice of Foxface's name... if you search what it means I think it's fitting! I just had to add Thresh's death in as I really did like him and I think without him Katniss would have died via Clove agreed? As you don't see what happens in the book this is my little out of canon tribute to him. <strong>

**Hope you enjoyed the chapter,**

**love**

**Paula**

**xXx**


	7. Perspective

**Thank you for the reviews! Hope you like what happens in this chapter, am halfway through writing the next one and it's very action packed! :D **

**xXx**

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><p><strong><em>Previously...<em>**

_Even with her on guard I can't make myself fall asleep, so I stay up for a while, thinking of home. Me and Peeta are so close to the finish line now, I wonder what District 12 will be doing._

_"Caru" Foxface says after a while, staring out of the cave into the night._

_"What?" I blink, completely zoned out._

_"My names Carumati but you can call me Caru" She confesses._

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><p><span>Perspective<span>

Carumati's POV

The day dawns bright, raindrops dripping off leaves and tumbling down our faces as we venture out of our cave the next day. I shake my hair and play with my knife, teasing how sharp it is on the soft skin of my finger.

"They'll be hunting us by now" says Peeta. "Cato isn't one to let his prey wander by."

"If they're wounded-" Katniss begins.

"It won't matter" Peeta breaks in. "If they can move, they're coming."

We fill up our canteens at the overflowing river and Katniss stops to check her snares which turn up empty.

"If we want food, we better head back up to my old hunting grounds." She says.

"Your call. You just tell me what you need me to do"

"And me" I chip in.

"Keep an eye out." She responds. "Stay on the rocks as much as possible, no sense in leaving them tracks to follow. And listen for us all."

I can do that.

The air smells so fresh it automatically makes me happier then I have been in days, despite the risk of two Careers on our trail. The sun is shining and birds are singing in the trees. If I can forget my death could happen at any second this place could be a version of heaven. It's certainly not like this in D5, where the streets are mostly filled with factories.

I skip over the rocks, humming under my breath.

"Hey Caru" Katniss says and I turn around. "I think you need to slow down." She eyes Peeta who waves off her concern and looks at me quizzically.

"My name is Carumati Poder" I explain with a small embarrassed smile.

"Caru" Katniss smiles briefly and I grin.

"Nice to meet you Carumati Poder" Peeta laughs and shakes my hand.

"All the same Peeta Mellark" I tease.

After a while we reach the trees and I sigh at the shade, the hot weather lovely but humid. I wipe my arm across my forehead and take my jacket off, tying it around my waist.

Peeta's a very loud walker, snapping twigs underfoot every second.

I can tell Katniss is getting more irritated by the way her jaw flutters and eyes narrow as she looks around the nearby trees with her bow aloft.

She finally turns around to stare at him.

"What?" he asks.

"You've got to move quietly," She says. "Forget about Cato and Clove, you're chasing off every rabbit in a fifteen-kilometre radius."

"Really?" he says. "Sorry, I didn't know."

We start walking again and I have to admit he's a _little _better but not much. Katniss catches my eye and I smirk. She glowers and suggests he takes his shoes off.

"Here?" he asks in disbelief, staring at the forest floor.

"Yes." Katniss says firmly. "We'll take ours off too. That way we'll be much quieter" She stares at me and I'm all too happy to get rid of my boots. I sit down to unlace them, tying them together and stuffing them in my bag.

I walk barefoot through the trees ahead of them, weaving agilely to dodge branches.

Peeta grins. "You're like-"

"Shhsh" Katniss whispers irritably and I bite my lip to stop laughter.

Peeta quietens down and we walk in silence. I stop my mind from thinking about what will happen when we encounter the Careers, about my death. I have an urge to talk to my Mom, I haven't talked to her in so long. But she's so far away back in District 5...

"Katniss." Peeta says after a few hours. I'm bathed in sweat, breathing shallow as I gulp down more water. It sloshes in my canteen as it dribbles on my cracked lips. We're sat beside a small stream and I dunk my canteen in to refill as Peeta and Katniss talk. Peeta is propped up against a tree and Katniss refuses to sit, eyes still scanning the surrounding area.

"We need to split up. I know I'm chasing away game."

"Only because your leg's hurt." She says, trying to be nice as she finally looks at him.

"I know." Peeta pretends that's the only reason. "So why don't you go on? Show me some plants to gather and that way we'll both be useful."

"Not if Cato comes and kills you." Katniss says bluntly.

"I'll go with him." I pipe up and Katniss and Peeta both turn to look at me. I can tell by the look on Peeta's face that they'd both forgotten I was there and a wave of sadness washes over me. I had thought that Peeta would not forget me like most others. I realize with a tingle that the star-crossed lovers have each other to occupy now and I am just a means to an end. I shall die soon, whether by the Career's hands or theirs. Still, even with their potential threat I have to swallow thickly to overcome the notion that I am invisible now.

"Katniss can get food and I'll make sure Peeta doesn't do anything stupid." I murmur quietly, gaze watching a green leaf sway and slowly tumble down into the water where it drifts away.

"I can handle Cato, I fought him off before didn't I?"

"And you got injured." I point out.

"What if you climbed a tree and acted as lookout while I hunted? And Caru could dig for roots."

"What if you show me what's edible around here and go get us some meat?" Peeta mimics Katniss and I let lose a small laugh, a sharp tinkle that is quickly erased but hangs in the air between the three of us.

"Just don't go far in case you need help." Peeta adds after a moment, and Katniss sighs sharply before shows us how to dig for roots. While Peeta is doing it as enthusiastically as he can to show how capable he is, Katniss looks to me.

"I'm showing Caru what berries to pick." She says and Peeta nods. She leads me away from the clearing, through the grass which tickle against our ankles as we stop.

"You need to look after him." She says roughly. "Do you have a weapon?"

I show her my small collection of knifes which I'd stuffed in the bag from the feast earlier.

"How long have you had all of them?" She demands and I shift my feet and mutter under my breath.

"What was that?"

"I stole them off Marvel when Rue was dying." I admitted and Katniss just stares at me.

"Who's Marvel?"

I blink, momentarily confused. "The boy from District 1 you shot."

"Oh." An embarrassed rosy blush blooms on her cheeks. "Okay… okay so you have weapons. You don't let him out of your sight okay?"

I nod.

"Okay?" She grabs my arm and I nod, sure she's going to leave a huge bruise.

"_Yes. _It will be fine Katniss." I tell her. "I've evaded the Careers before."

"But you haven't fought them."

"I can try." I say stubbornly and we glare at each other. If she thinks I'm going down without a fight she is wrong. She does not know me at all if she thinks that. Yes it is true I favour hiding before confrontation and will always weigh odds in my favour but I still have a streak of humanity in me, that fight instinct when fleeing is impossible.

"Look Cato and Clove probably aren't even around here. They'll be stocking up their supplies over at the Cornucopia." I stress. "So go. Now. The quicker you go the quicker you'll come back." I put my hands on the small of her back and gently push her in the opposite direction.

"Wait. Can you whistle?" She asks and I pull a face.

"Can you whistle this?"

She does a simple two note phrase. I repeat it for a few minutes before she's satisfied.

"We'll keep in contact with that."

I nod yet she still stays rooted in place, almost anxious.

"Katniss we'll be fine." I smile at her. "Go."

She shoots me one last trusting look before disappearing.

I immediately whistle and I hear her laugh fading away as she whistles back.

I turn back to Peeta who jumps when I appear next to him, hands covered in dirt and a small pile of roots beside him.

"Right. Where next?"

"How about some berries?" I suggest and he slowly gets up, brushes soil off his trousers as we head to the river.

"You gather berries, I'll stay back here and whistle" I advise, lingering beside a large tree a few metres back from the gushing stream. "Katniss won't be able to hear because of the river."

"Oh yes, I didn't think of that." Peeta admits sheepishly before browsing over a few ripe berry bushes.

"Those look nice." I point to the huge glossy blackberries, hanging in heavy boughs. My mouth waters just looking at them.

"Yeah. They look like the ones Katniss picked, they should be safe…" He drops them into his grubby palm.

I chirp out a loud whistle in reply to the one echoing back.

"Is that enough for three of us?" I pretend to ponder and Peeta smiles.

"I should think so."

The water bubbles as Peeta washes his hands and I find myself become increasingly distant from concentration. It worries me this change as I need to be alert. Homesickness burrows it's way in my heart and I contain a sigh.

"Ready to go back?" I say as Peeta dries his hands on his shirt. "Katniss is probably getting worried."

"Yeah." He agrees and we walk in silence for a while. I flap away a fly buzzing around my head.

"Carumati?" Peeta says.

"Mmm?"

"When… I know you made a deal with Katniss to kill the Careers. And when they're dead I'm just wondering if…"

"I won't kill you." I tell him honestly. "I can't kill my allies. I want you to trust me, so in my own way I can trust you." I shrug. "And I don't kill people I trust."

"Caru I don't want to kill you either." He says. "So, if it ends up just being us three…."

"I don't want to talk about it." I purse my lips. "I know I'm going to die Peeta." I push a branch out of my way and step back into the clearing.

"Why didn't you whistle back?" Katniss shouts, barrelling across the clearing.

"I was talking to Peeta." I say shocked. "I- sorry-"

"When two people agree on a signal they stay in range!"

"I did!" I yell, my emotions getting the better of me and coming out in a rather loud matter. "Calm down!"

"Both of you calm down." Peeta says quietly. "Or do you want Cato and Clove to hear?"

We both quieten and in the silence that follows I grab a berry.

"What are you- STOP IT!" Katniss shrieks and launches herself at me.

"What are you doing?" I say, bewildered, winded as she knocks me to the ground. I gasp for breath and the berries fall to the floor and get squashed. Blood red juice smears on our clothes as Katniss looks at me wildly.

"You don't eat those!" She says frantically. "They're Nightlock!"

"What?" I frown.

"They're poisonous. They kill you before they hit your stomach!" She says, still on top of me. I'm finding it hard to breathe and nod.

"You could have _died _Caru!" She looks at me wide-eyed, face flushed and grey eyes bright.

"Sorry." I whisper and we stare at each other for a few long seconds. Beside us Peeta carefully picks up all his previously picked berries and tosses them into the undergrowth.

"You can't die okay?" Katniss orders and I twist my mouth humorously.

"You can't order me to do that Katniss." I say. "But I'll try not to."

"Good." She gets off me and I slowly stand up, head spinning.

Katniss just saved my life… this event puts a whole new spin on my perspective.

Why save me from those berries if I am doomed to die at the hands of Cato and Clove? Or her herself after with her bow and arrow? Deadly sharp as it pierces my heart and silences me forever. She surely must know not all three of us can win, I am just an awkward obstacle in the way of the star-crossed lovers of 12. Perhaps she wants me to die a painful death I muse, but am reminded of the panicked look in her eyes as I raised the berry to my lips.

I am confused, a feeling not often occurring to me. I silently follow Peeta and Katniss through the woods, as silent as a ghost.

If Katniss had saved me that is what I would be now. Reduced to haunting her nightmares, haunting this arena like the tributes before me.

I shiver coldly, and the last pile of Nightlock berries I collected roll in my pocket. I run my hands over them and wish desperately for the Games to end, whether by dying by my allies hand or the Careers. There is no chance a lowly girl like myself can win, so I'll do the best thing. I'll help Katniss and Peeta win, and then sacrifice myself.

Katniss POV

Caru looks deep in thought as she trails behind us, one hand in her trouser pocket and the other clenched in a loose fist. I don't dare disturb her from her thinking, that quick mind that is her very own weapon sharper then any knife she carries or arrow I aim.

"Let's make a fire. Right now." I say, and begin to gather branches and brush.

"Are you ready to face them?" Peeta asks.

"I'm ready to eat. Better to cook our food while we have the chance. If they knows we're here they know. But they also knows there is three of us which outnumber them. The fire means we're not hiding, we're inviting them. Would you show up?" I say.

"Maybe not." he says.

Peeta starts a fire quickly, and I use the time our food is cooking to reflect on what will happen when we finally meet our opposition. What will happen to the fox-faced girl I have grown to want to protect as fiercely as Rue. I look at Foxface- Carumati I remind myself. She has trusted me with her name in the late stage of this game and I feel a twinge of sorrow. She was so close to death earlier… when I looked at her eyes, confused but utterly trusting as she gazed at me, I couldn't not let her die. Not a death so careless, so unavoidable. She has saved my life more probable times then I can gather, by going to the Feast and getting Peeta's medicine, stealing all the Career's food. Of course, the Career's will target her now, but all three of us have bulls-eyes painted on the back of our shirts.

I can't not let her die, not after having been with her so long, gone through such wariness and laughter, companionship and support. A rope had been wound tightly around us and if it severs I don't know what I'll do. Peeta gives me the home comfort I crave, my District and my Mother, Gale Prim. Carumati represents… perhaps a part of me myself. She is more like me then she thinks, my red-headed ally, friend.

I see the sadness in her eyes sometimes, remember the fact she has four brothers and has a superb talent at sneaking, hiding and I think she has suffered hardships similar to myself. Her rational, well thought out responses to anything that blocks our path to winning makes me wonder to myself how I could cope without her wise reactions and sensible thoughts. I would have rushed to that Feast, was prepared to go without a second's hesitation to whatever danger may lie there but Carumati thought it through and came back unscathed.

She makes me a better person, and I see the light in her eyes as she laughs, or I include her in a conversation she is not part of.

I'm not going to let her die.

Whatever plan she has, because she must have one in that bright mind of hers, will not work. I will not let her walk down whatever path she is creating. If she does, I'm going down with her.

The food has cooked in my thinking, and I pack it up, leaving three rabbit legs out for us to eat as we walk.

I want to move higher into the woods, climb a good tree and make good for the night, but Peeta resists.

"I can't climb like you, Katniss, especially with my leg, and I don't think I could ever fall asleep fifteen metres above the ground."

I don't mention that Caru had no problem shimmying up a tree and sleeping up there when she didn't know how but I lock eye contact with her and her eyes twinkle briefly.

"It's not safe to stay in the open Peeta." I tell him.

"Can't we go back to the cave?" he asks. "It's near to water and easy to defend."

I sigh. Several more hours of walking - or should I say crashing - through the woods to reach an area we'll just have to leave in the morning to hunt. But Peeta doesn't ask for much. He's followed my instructions all day and I'm sure if things were reversed, he wouldn't make me spend the night in a tree. It dawns on me I haven't been very nice to Peeta today. Nagging him about how loud he was, screaming at him and Caru disappearing. The playful romance we had sustained in the cave has disappeared under the hot sun, with the threat of Cato and Clove looming over us.

Haymitch has probably just about had it with me. And as for the audience…

I reach up and give him a kiss. "Sure. Let's go back to the cave."

He looks pleased and relieved. "Well, that was easy."

We toss a load more wood onto the fire. It should be sending smoke off for a few more hours although I doubt Cato and Clove assume anything at this point.

When we reach the stream, I see the water has dropped considerably and moves at it's old leisurely pace, so I suggest we walk back in it. Peeta's happy to oblige and since he's quieter in water than on land, it's a doubly good idea.

It's a long walk back to the cave, though, even going downwards. Regardless, Carumati keeps up a strong spurt of energy, always managing to stay six steps ahead of us.

We're all exhausted from the hike today, and still way too underfed.

I keep my bow loaded, both for the Careers and any fish I might see, but the stream seems strangely empty of creatures.

By the time we reach our destination, our feet are dragging and the sun sits low on the horizon. We fill up our water bottles and climb the little slope to our cave. It's not much, but it's our home in the wilderness.

Peeta falls asleep before he manages to eat the small dinner I lay out for him. Carumati picks at some cheese before snuggling into her sleeping bag.

"Katniss?" She murmurs quietly as she takes over my watch halfway through the night.

"Yes?" I turn to look at her.

"Thank you." She says simply. "You saved my life today."

"You've saved mine too." I remind her before closing my eyes, dreading what tomorrow will bring.

Carumati POV

The lake is drained. I stare at it speechlessly.

"Not even a little damp." Katniss says sadly. "They must have drained it while we slept."

"How?" I ask mystified. "Surely we would have noticed."

"The lake." Peeta says. "That's where they want us to go."

I nod.

"Maybe the ponds still have some." Katniss says hopefully.

"There's no point in going Katniss, you know they'll be empty. We'll just be wasting time and energy." I tell her.

Whatever happens, I want it to be done as quickly as possible. There is no point in prolonging the inevitable as it just adds more pain.

"Yes. Let's just go now and end this thing." Peeta says and we start to make our way to the lake.

"Three against two. Should be a piece of cake." Peeta reassures us, wrapping his arms around Katniss, but really what can I bring to the table? It's not like I'm strong and can handle weapons like all the other competitors.

"Next time we eat it will be in-" Katniss breaks off suddenly and her eyes dart to mine. I refuse to look in her direction and see the sadness in her gaze. She knows what must happen for the two tributes from 12 to win.

I walk ahead as they embrace and I know when Peeta decides to follow as rodents scurry and a flock of birds take flight.

When we reach the plain it's already early evening. I have spent the whole day working myself up to the moment when the final fight will happen but now it appears none shall happen at all. My eyes flicker around distrustfully and I check in the Cornucopia as we pass just to see if he hadn't pulled my tactic.

We cross to the lake and fill our water containers and I freeze, sure I heard a howl deep in the distance.

"Caru?" Katniss prods me.

"Oh… it's nothing, I just thought I heard…never mind." I fill up my water container and shiver involuntarily. I now realize why Cato and Clove are late and wonder what vile scheme the Gamemakers have unleashed on us. My mind roves back to previous Hunger Games where they have had huge monsters drooling for a nice meal of human.

Katniss and Peeta are talking about how long we should wait but I'm only half listening as the birds start to sing. I vaguely remember it from sometime during the Games but-

There's a yipping sound carried on the wind and I stand up.

"Katniss, Peeta I think we need to run." I warn. "Something's coming."

"Cato? Clove?"

"I don't think-"

My words are cut off when Cato and Clove barrel onto the plain.

"They've got some kind of body armour!" Katniss yells as she shoots an arrow at Cato and it rebounds. But I'm already running, faster then them, up, up to the top of the Cornucopia because if Cato and Clove are running from something they are bad, they must be bad.

With a grotesque snarl the muttations leap into the clearing.

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><p><strong>You guys. The next chapter is going to be awesome, I love action! What do you think so far? What do you think is going to happen? What do you WANT to happen?<strong>

**Love**

**Paula**

**xXx**


	8. Death

**Wow. Thank you so much for all the reviews, and I hope I make this chapter everything you thought it would be :) **

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><p><strong><em>Previously...<em>**

_My words are cut off when Cato and Clove barrel onto the plain._

_"They've got some kind of body armour!" Katniss yells as she shoots an arrow at Cato and it rebounds. But I'm already running, faster then them, up, up to the top of the Cornucopia because if Cato and Clove are running from something they are bad, they must be bad._

_With a grotesque snarl the muttations leap into the clearing._

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><p><span>Death<span>

Carumati POV 

I huddle up on the centre of the Cornucopia top, watching Clove and Cato hack and cough bent over with their heads between their knees.

Katniss and Peeta scrabble up a second later and a wave of relief is quickly washed out as I peer down at the mutts.

They're all different colours, different sizes. I squint to look at their collars. That one, with the exact hair colour my District Partner Luc had is wearing one with a 5...

I jolt and my body stiffens.

Of course the Gamemakers would do something like this… I let out a slow calming breath. Of course the trackers must have also extracted DNA to be placed in the mutt's when they were genetically engineered. Of course, this is the Hunger Games and they need a dramatic finish.

Their razor claws scrape on the golden metal, unable to find a strong purchase and I hope they do not figure out how to get up. Luc is jumping up now, yipping loudly with his pink tongue twisting to form almost words. Now how did they do that?

My musings are interrupted by Katniss's shriek.

"It's her! It's them… it's all of them. The others. Rue and Thresh and… all the other tributes." She chokes and Peeta gasps.

"What do you think they do to them? You don't think… those could be their own eyes?"

"No." I speak up. "It's just DNA, probably taken from our trackers." I explain. "Genetic engineering can't do everything, but I doubt they'll be their own eyes because of when they get returned to their District…"

Surely no family would want to see their dead child, sibling, cousin with large holes where their eyes have been gouged out.

I shudder slightly and am suddenly slammed backwards. I choke, winded, and Clove snarls, eyes glittering with glee.

She's so strong I can hardly move beneath her. She pins my arms down as I struggle and I hook my ankle around hers, flinging her beneath me. She gasps and hisses, dark eyes manic.

"You little-" She rears up and pushes me backwards. She slashes wildly with the knife and I roll to the side. The knife slashes my cheek, narrowly avoids my neck. Blood pours down and stains my shirt as a huge chunk of my hair flutters to rest at Clove's feet. She kicks it away, tramples on it as she lunges at me again. We grapple with the knife and I bang my head on the Cornucopia and see stars…

I blink disoriented and Clove grabs my wrist. You can hear the snap of my bone and I screech as red hot pain reverberates through my body and she laughs, my blood smeared on her cheek as she tries to get the knife off me.

I cling onto it with all my strength and she snarls in frustration.

_She is __**not **__having this knife. _

"Caru!" Katniss cries then instantly yells for Peeta.

Clove's elbow jams into the side of my head but I duck when she would have knocked me out.

"You little bitch." Clove hisses and grabs the knife, swinging me with her. I kick her in her stomach and she lets out a small groan.

My broken wrist flails and nausea whirls in me.

"Clove!" Cato snaps. "Take care of her" He nods towards Katniss who has her bow pointed at Cato. Cato's holding Peeta in a headlock and he's struggling to breathe.

Clove laughs and sneers at me.

"Don't worry I'll kill you in a minute" She bares her teeth and turns to Cato, her dark head turned away.

Before I can even comprehend what I'm doing I'm jumping forward.

The knife stabs through her jacket, shirt, skin as easily as butter. Clove chokes and I press it down harder, eyes squeezed shut.

When I open them, bloody bubbles are pouring from her mouth in shock, her eyes roving to find the pain as he head swings in my direction. Her eyes widen in understanding and I cringe, standing wide-eyed as her blood spills over the wound and dribbles over the hilt of the knife onto my hands pulled into fists.

_What have I done?_

I just stabbed Clove and she's dying-

When I pull the knife out I can hear it hacking at her flesh. Black spots flash in front of my eyes and the knife clatters to the floor, the only sound being the mutts whining.

Clove slides to the floor and gurgles for breath for a minute before her cannon booms. Saliva blood bubbles trickle from her mouth onto the Cornucopia. Her face is leached of any colour, and she's not breathing.

I did that. I killed that- that corpse right in front of me.

Cato lets out a roar. "Right that's it-" He automatically releases Peeta and Katniss dives to grab him before he falls off the horn. Cato stalks towards me furiously, sword held high in anger. His eyes are blazing with fury and passionate lust for killing.

I gulp and look around, kick Clove's dead body in his direction. He looks at her for one long second before stepping over her chest. Her ribs crunch before he shoves her off the Cornucopia. The mutts howl happily, converging onto the corpse in a matter of seconds.

I stare at Cato wide-eyed, over Cato's shoulder at Katniss who has the arrow notched again and is aiming at his skull.

_Please, please she can't let me die I just saved her life that has to count for something right?_

Cato laughs huskily and I look up at him terrified. Clove was- that was unfair, I wouldn't normally have killed her. Cato is going to kill me, I'm going to die.

"This is going to be fun." He bares his teeth in a twisted replication of a smile. He raises his sword and fear makes me tremble, close my eyes.

Instead of feeling a sword stab my heart I hear a yell and open one eye.

Katniss's arrow is embedded into his palm. He drops the sword which screeches deafeningly on contact with the Cornucopia, before he topples sideways.

His hand grabs my ankle and I'm yanked off and I'm screaming as I scrabble to cling onto anything, my hands slipping down the blood soaked metal-

Katniss's hand shoots out and my fingernails dig tightly into her palm. Cato snarls and his grubby hands yank at my foot. I hear the groan and impact of my boot as I kick his face. His hand slips and there's a howl as a mutt pounces on Cato. I manage not to shriek and draw attention to myself as Katniss pulls me up. I gasp for breath, cradling my aching broken wrist.

"Are you okay?" Katniss asks but I can't even answer.

_I killed Clove. _I _**killed **_someone.

I can still hear Cato whining as the mutts try to eat him.

I clamp a hand over my mouth as I start to tremble, tears making my vision blurry.

I'm a _murderer… _I killed Clove and she had a family and friends and now they'll be mourning and they'll never see her again…

I was alive, I was alive but for how much longer? Clove is dead, Cato is dying it's what I and Katniss planned all along…

The anthem plays and Clove's face appears. I feel another stab of guilt, and have to fight the urge to vomit.

I notice Peeta's leg bleeding and scoot over, take out my jumper and give it to Katniss who nods and ties a tourniquet swiftly, fingers fumbling in the freezing cold.

I shiver wildly, how long have we been here? Minutes? Hours? Days? Everything is messed up in my mind. I scrunch my eyes together painfully.

"Are you okay?" Katniss repeats and I open my eyes slowly. "Clove-"

"My wrist is broken." My teeth chatter and my voice sounds dazed and distant even to my own ears.

"I heard it snap." She examines it with gentle fingers as I wince and tears cloud my eyesight.

Blood has stopped falling from my cut but it's now thick and clotted and I dab water on my cheek. Katniss checks my aching head, prods it as I shudder.

"I think you have concussion."

"Huh." I murmured quietly. "I killed Clove."

"I know." She squeezes my hand.

"You saved my life. Again."

"You saved mine _and _Peeta's. Again."

"Katniss?"

"Yes?"

"I'm going to be sick."

She holds back my hair as I puke over the side of the Cornucopia which isn't pleasant at all. The mutts don't seem too concerned though. The sight of Cato's bloody body, still jerking and still _alive _makes me vomit even more, an acidic taste that clings to the back of my throat long after.

When I'm done I wipe my mouth on my sleeve and Katniss hands me my water canteen, wrinkling her nose.

"Sorry." I say hoarsely, head ringing.

She waves it off and turns to Peeta who's eyelids are fluttering.

"Don't go to sleep." She tells him, panic evident.

"Are you cold?" He asks and unzips his jacket for both of them to share.

Katniss motions for me to huddle next to her.

"It's freezing." She says and I nestle into her side. She threads a hand through my hair comfortingly, and it reminds me of my Mom.

"She cut off some of your hair."

"I know." I murmur, head banging against my skull. I close my eyes and for hours we listen to Cato being gnawed apart.

But Katniss's hand is warm in mine, and Peeta's whispers that everything will be fine.

Cato's death moans scream in my ear and I squeeze my eyes shut. This is never-ending, I am stuck here listening to a boy being tortured, being eaten alive right in front of me…

"Why don't they just kill him?" Katniss says to Peeta.

"You know why." He responds, pulling her closer to him.

My pulse is racing in my ears and every time I close my eyes I see Clove's life splattered over my hands. Her blood is crusted on my hands now and I want to puke again but have no energy. My skin is clammy and I can't stop panting, chest aching.

I need someone to- to calm me down but Peeta keeps falling asleep and Katniss keeps shouting and my head is _hurting _and I _**killed Clove.**_

I just want to go _home _but I know Katniss and Peeta are going to kill me-I think I want to die.

Cato is still whimpering, begging as the mutts gnaw at him. I can imagine his flesh giving way to sharp teeth.

"Just shut up." I moan, clutching my head.

"Look, look Caru, Katniss… the moon…" Peeta lifts his head an inch. "It's moving, it's going to be morning soon…" He reassures us.

I find myself waiting for the cannon to go off, but it never does.

Why won't he die? I feel bad for wishing someone dead and my mind goes back to Clove. It spins over and over in my mind, consuming every thought.

The wind bites at every piece of uncovered skin it can find, creating huge goosebumps.

I want to think of my Mom but death is still pictured in every scene with her. And now I am imaging her being ripped apart, and my brothers getting eaten alive and my Dad the one whimpering.

"The sun's rising." Peeta whispers and I look up to see the stars disappearing into the pale morning sky.

My limbs are locked tight as I watch Katniss peer over the edge of the Cornucopia.

"I think he's closer now. Katniss, can you shoot him?"

"My last arrows in your tourniquet." She replies and it feels like my allies are miles away. I hate this place and I'm going to die here tormented by my killing. I'm a murderer.

"Make it count." Peeta says, unzipping his jacket to let Katniss out.

I close my eyes and jump when a cannon booms.

A hole appears in the earth and the mutts disappear. Like they were never here at all and it was just a macabre nightmare.

"Now what?" Katniss whispers and I silently slip off the Cornucopia, staring at the blood on my hands as I walk to the river. It'll be an nice place to die.

The sun is a rosy golden glow now and I close my eyes, trying to forget.

"Caru." Katniss says and I look up to see her and Peeta have followed me.

"He's dying Katniss." I tell her, looking at Peeta's bloodless face. "You need to win, quickly and you know there can only be two winners." I shakily fumble in my pocket for the Nightlock berries. I hold one between my thumb and index finger, watch it. It's small and seemingly innocent but deadly.

Katniss eye's widen before she snatches them from my hand.

"No." She says lowly, voice like steel. "No you are _not _killing yourself for us!"

"Katniss I was never going to win!" I look at her and laugh manically. "I'm from District 5, and you two are the star-crossed lovers. I should have died two days ago but you stopped me from eating them. And I'm a murderer, I deserve to die."

"Oh so you would rather have Clove and Cato have killed you?" She says and I stay silent, raise the berry up to my lips.

"I just want to say-" I choke. "That… I'm glad you were my allies. You saved my life Katniss." My eyes water as I look at her. After all this, the girl from District 12 is my friend.

Katniss's eyes are oddly misty. "And I didn't save your life for you to just throw it away again!"

"Katniss I murdered someone. I killed _myself _when I did that. How am I supposed to live with that? It's the Hunger Games Katniss and I'm surprised even two people are allowed to win."

As if they were waiting for comedic timing, Claudius Templesmith's voice booms over the speakers.

"Greetings to the final contestants of the seventy-forth Hunger Games. The earlier revision has been revoked. Closer examination of the rule book has disclosed that only one winner may be allowed. Good luck, and may the odds be ever in your favour."

Frozen. The three of us, in various states of despair, staring at each other like fools. Played from the entire beginning. What would be more entertaining then watching beloved allies, _star-crossed lovers _kill each other?

"If you think about it it's not that surprising." Peeta says softly and struggles to his feet.

Katniss loads her bow and arrow.

"Katniss what are you doing?" I gape. "Why are you killing your lover?" I screech. "Just kill me!"

"No!" She snaps and with a burning face drops her weapons. Peeta's knife floats down river but I cling to mine desperately.

"Put your knife down." Katniss snarls. "You are not going to kill yourself. I've killed Marvel and Glimmer and the girl from 4 and I feel bad about it sure but they killed people too. Clove would have killed you if she'd gotten the chance. She was going to finish you off anyway after she'd had her way with me and Peeta!"

"Well I didn't let her do that."

"Exactly and it's because of you we're alive. So I'm not letting you kill yourself." She says firmly. "You saved two lives while ending one."

"Well two of us have to die." I shoot back. "And I don't want to be a winner."

"I don't want you to die."

"Well I don't want you to die either. Think of your sister Katniss,"

We stare at each other, two girls who were fighting to trust each other in the beginning and now fighting to save the other at the end.

My eyes jump to Peeta as he rips the bandage off his leg.

"No you can't kill yourself." Katniss says, desperately trying to put the bandage back on over the wounds.

"What if we just refuse to kill each other?" She says panically. "And Caru I'll look after you and make sure you get over Clove and- and Peeta-"

"They'll probably send the mutts back." I murmur. "And I really don't want to be ripped to pieces."

"Listen, we both know they'll only have one winner. Carumati can take the berries and I'll die from my leg. It can only be one of us. Please take it. For me. For Caru." Peeta pleads and I nod in agreement, twitching anxiously as I stare at the Nightlock berry in my hand, rolling around in Clove's blood.

Katniss suddenly grabs the others from my pocket before I realize, and then Peeta's stopping her and I'm so _confused…_

"No. I won't let you."

Oh, now Katniss and Peeta are arguing about who's going to die.

"Trust me." She whispers, tipping some berries into his palm. She shares a stony look with me and I get it then, what she is going to do, what we are all going to do.

"On the count of three?" Her gaze flickers to mine and Peeta's as we nod.

"_Thank you_." I whisper, a small smile on the edge of my lips.

Peeta kisses her gently. "On the count of three."

"Hold them out. I want everyone to see."

I stare at the dark berries that will bring me my death in seconds. Peaceful, painless.

"_One."_

I prepare myself for in the inevitable.

"_Two."_

I wonder how the Capitol will feel with no Victor.

"_Three."_

**I am glad to die.**

I stuff the berries in my mouth and chew.

"Stop! Stop! Ladies and gentlemen, I am pleased to present the victors of the Seventy Forth Annual Hunger Games, Carumati Poder, Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark! I give you- the tributes of 5 and 12!"

Trumpets blare and one thing, one voice overrides them all.

"Spit them out Carumati."

* * *

><p><strong>Haha. How did you like the fight with Clove? And afterwards? Was it dramatic enough? I still feel like the ending wasn't right... oh well. Hope you enjoyed! I don't know when the next chapter will be up so I'll keep you waiting for a while longer ;)<strong>

**xXx**


	9. Meetings

**Wow! Over 50 reviews! Thank you so much! Here's the next chapter for you! :)**

* * *

><p><em><strong>Previously...<strong>_

_"Stop! Stop! Ladies and gentlemen, I am pleased to present the victors of the Seventy Forth Annual Hunger Games, Carumati Poder, Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark! I give you- the tributes of 5 and 12!"_

_Trumpets blare and one thing, one voice overrides them all._

_"Spit them out Carumati."_

* * *

><p><span>Meetings<span>

I'm drifting on a cloud of pure white that rolls over me, making it hard for me to breathe. My eyelids are heavy and my tongue is thick, lolling in my mouth. My nose stings from the antiseptic in the air and when I finally manage to open my eyes I see I'm in a small room. Naked, with the duvet cool against my skin, water trickles down my forehead from the ice pack placed there.

I utter a small moan and gaze at the woman sat at my bedside who caused my awakening. I squint confused as my head pangs. Do I know her?

She's dressed in all white, a stark contrast to her magenta dyed skin and lime green hair.

She prods at my head and I groan.

"What's your name?" She squeaks.

"What?" I mutter confused. "My name… Caru." I murmur after a minute. "Carumati Poder."

"What's happened to you?"

"I don't know." I say tiredly and close my eyes.

When I next awaken I realize while I slept they have healed my broken wrist and I rub it absently. Afterwards I trace my cheek. No blood, not even a hint of a scar. My head is pain free and I welcome it with relief.

The Hunger Games have left no physical wound on my body of course, but emotionally, well that's a whole other matter.

I vaguely remember a hovercraft ride, Katniss screaming and Peeta being operated on…

I'm strapped to my bed and look up wearily as an brunette Avox comes in. She served me before the Games.

"Are they okay?" I murmur. "Katniss and Peeta?"

She nods solemnly, hands me a tray with a bowl of broth and spoon. I stir it around, not hungry. I drink the water though, run my tongue over my dry cracked lips.

Clove's sneering face haunts me and weaves it's way into every thought but I'm not in the arena now. I'm safe. Panic squirms in my chest and makes me nauseous.

Why do I not feel safe?

My eyelids feel heavy and I soon fall asleep again.

Time passes quickly and some time later I stir awake to see my old tribute outfit. They want me to wear that? I stare at it in disgust before slowly pulling it back on. I pull on my boots but take out the laces, tying my hair up into a ponytail with them.

Then I sit on the side of my crumpled bed, feet barely touching the floor as my mind runs wild.

There is three victors. I, Katniss and Peeta.

Does Katniss understand the repercussions of our actions? Perhaps it would have been better to have swallowed those poisonous berries. The Districts will love having three victors, and what shall happen next year during a Quarter Quell? The last one involved 48 children and perhaps next it shall be even worse.

What is to stop a whole group winning? If determined enough what would stop the whole Games? No tribute dying, all the Districts winning… Hope is a powerful emotion and if someone dares to multiply that by three then what shall happen? Perhaps if we are lucky, some fighting and a loss of control of the barbarity of the Capitol.

With us three as victors it is like we have refused to play the Games in the first place. President Snow will not like that however much the Districts shall.

What shall he do now with the star-crossed lovers? Surely they can be contained, it was an act of love that Peeta chose when he took the berries, and Katniss too however much she would disagree with the tiny part that cares for the blonde boy. Whereas I…

The star-crossed lovers are locked tight with each other, but I have heard stories of Finnick Odair's escapades and guessed the reason behind them. Cold sweat breaks out over my body and I stare at the white walls seeing only what will happen for me in the next months.

Perhaps I can try my old tactic of disappearing. Feeble and cowardly an act, it certainly preserves my life.

But now I am reminded of Cato coming after me, and I owe my life to the girl from 12. So I stand up and take a deep breath to calm myself.

I can deal with whatever fighting shall arise from the outcome of these Games. Whatever comes at me I shall deal with it and handle it the best I can. I have not killed a girl to merely live a life of luxury. No, I killed to survive and now will put my survival to good use.

I try to remember where the Avox girl came from and slowly walk towards what I judge is the door. A panel opens in the wall and I step through into a corridor.

Then, before I know what's happening I'm being crushed in a hug. I stiffen automatically and the person pulls back slightly.

"You did it." My mentor Ailey grins. "District Five did it." Her dark green eyes glitter with happiness.

"Yay." I say weakly.

Does she have no clue about what will happen to Panem because of this- this act of defiance? I thought my mentor was smart, but perhaps I am smarter then her. Perhaps I am smarter then all the people here who are congratulating me.

My stylist Geo pats my hair, spiky purple hair encrusted with diamonds that glitter and make my eyes water.

"Oh." He says dramatically. "You'll need to have it cut!" Eyes wide he surveys me with a panicked expression.

"Wow, oh wow." My escort Keeva says, shaking her head so her orange fringe flips from side to side. Her electric blue eyelashes flutter ecstatically. "I didn't expect someone from District 5 to win! Of course Luc did die in the bloodbath…"

"Where's Katniss and Peeta?" I ask tentatively.

"They're getting all remade for the interview with Caesar!" Keeva trills and her talons rake my skin as she clutches my arm. "And so are you! So go!" She tosses me in Geo's direction who is all chatter as he leads me to the elevator that leads me to the lobby of the training centre.

"And when you dodged those mines, oh my heart was in my throat I swear- I even had Hermia check for me!" Geo laughs at his bad joke and I smile half-heartedly.

I jump and freeze as my prep team lunge for me, hugging me tightly.

"Oh you were absolutely amazing!" Hermia screeches, yellow tongue spitting. "Oh dahling _look _at your _hair!_" She immediately worms her fingers through it, muttering about ribbons and clips and such.

Oberon starts doing my nails and Sampson starts applying my make-up. The brush flutters across my cheeks as they talk about how marvellous the Games were.

Yes, watching 21 other tributes die and nearly dying myself has been the highlight of my year.

Oberon hums as he applies a coat of clear nail polish and I wonder to myself when my inevitable meeting with President Snow shall arise.

"What are you doing?" I say panically as Hermia gets some scissors. "You can't cut my hair!" I snap, grabbing at it reflexively and the room goes so quiet you can hear a pin drop. My prep team stare at me wide-eyed.

"I don't want you to cut my hair." I mutter into the silence. "My- my family like me with long hair."

"Okay." Hermia says uncertainly.

Evidently I scare my prep team, who carry on in near silence which is a rarity. The silence helps me wrap my head around the events though. I have no idea how long it has been since the Games ended and am resolving to find out when a Avox knocks on the door and enters with a small note in his hand. He gives it to me and my stomach gurgles nauseously. I open it, knowing what it will already contain.

_Miss Poder it would be a pleasure to meet you in person, one third of the victors. _

President Snow's cursive writing flows across the page and makes my hand tremble. An address and time follows the line of greeting.

Nevertheless I place the card down on the side and calmly explain to my prep team that the President requests to see me. It sends them into a flurry of excitement and horror, trying to decide what I should wear. I prepare myself to meet the President I have spent my life watching on screen.

* * *

><p>I cross my legs and pick at my nails as I wait for President Snow to enter the room.<p>

I'm clothed in a plain grey dress and silver sandals and my hair is straightened with a black hair band to hold it back from my face.

My eyes flicker to the huge ornate golden clock telling me the time.

11.06am.

I wonder vaguely what Katniss and Peeta are doing right now, how they are. From my mentor Ailey I have just learnt the Hunger Games finished two days ago.

I try again to avoid thinking of the actions that have led me to this very chair in the President's office. Clove's death, Katniss making me gag Nightlock from my throat as the victory trumpets blared.

Some victory.

"Miss Poder." His icy voice and the sharp scent of roses alert him to my attention and I nod respectfully as the President settles in his chair. With only a desk in between us I start to feel slightly uncomfortable.

"What's my punishment?" I blurt before I can think, and my voice comes out straight-forwardly and almost rude.

President Snow blinks.

"Pardon?"

"Well you've brought me here for a reason. There's three victors and I imagine you won't like that. So what's my punishment?" I say, and lean back in the chair and cross my legs to disguise my nerves. No, I won't let him see me weak. Well, not much.

President Snow looks quite surprised and I wince internally. Why do I choose now to be brave? I berate myself as he appraises me coldly. Bad, bad idea.

"You know who you remind me of?" He says, leaning forward over the dark polished mahogany desk. "Johanna Mason. And you know what happened to her family?"

"No." I frown at the mention of the District 7 winner a few years back.

"Exactly." He smiles twistedly and dread swoops in my stomach. The scent of blood and roses mix together and create a sour taste in my mouth. I really hope I don't vomit over the President.

"But." He continues. "Unlike her, you my dear have the brains to know what this means for Panem without I telling you. Correct?"

I nod stiffly, knees clamped together to stop them knocking. The President gets up to look out of the window and I'm pleased my voice is steady when I speak.

"You can't have more than one victor." I murmur through numb lips. "And three will cause… trouble."

"Uprisings." He corrects sharply and I flinch.

"Katniss and Peeta are so in love." I start. "And we became so close-"

"Don't patronize me." He says sharply and my body quivers. I'm sure he can hear my heart shallowly pumping faster and faster as he continues. "You don't need to convince me, you need to convince everybody else in Panem, particularly those Districts." He let out a sigh.

"Miss Poder you to be fair are not part of my problem. It is the star-crossed lovers I am more worried about…" He trails off before refocusing on me with those frighteningly apathetic eyes. "I have a proposition for you."

"Okay." I look at him warily, knowing what he shall say next and loathing him for it.

"Surely you must know that a young pretty Victor like yourself has admirers in the Capitol?"

"You want to sell me." I say flatly and a slow smirk crawls onto the President's lips.

"Yes, as you so eloquently put it." He plays with a pen, rolling it between his nimble fingers as he awaits my answer.

"Of course, any number of incidents could happen to your family if you disagreed…"

He didn't need to threaten my family, and in such an unsubtle way.

I narrow my eyes. "Yes. I'll… I'll let the admirers have me."

He looks me up and down and my cheeks start to feel warm. "I'll have arrangements to be made before you leave for home. You'll need some training of what to expect of course…"

His tongue flickers over his puffed lips before he presses a number into his phone.

"Leave." He orders and I slowly get up and walk to the door.

"Oh and Miss Poder?"

"Yes?" I squeak and turn back.

He smiles, and it's unnerving to see such a kind smile now on his emotionless face. "Try not to get in the way of the pair from 12. If you further complicate matters I will know." He warns and I nod, a jerky motion of my head before I shut the door.

My whole body is shivering with disgust at his proposition and my breath rattles in my throat as I lean against the wall for a moment.

Luckily I have a plan, already resolved earlier during my remake. I shakily start down the corridor to the exit and hope fervently that it works.

* * *

><p>I am ushered underneath the stage after another redressing. This time my dress is a shimmery gold and flutters around my knees. My shoes are delicate cream coloured ballerina flats and the ribbons twines up my smooth hairless legs to meet the hem of my dress. I play with a curl in my hair and jolt in shock when Haymitch Abernathy strides towards me with an expression of determination on his face.<p>

"Chardonnay, right?"

"Carumati." I correct baffled. Of course the alcoholic had to confuse my name with a drink.

"Sure sweetheart." He says, waving away the answer impatiently. "I heard you had a meeting with Snow?"

I nod and eye him narrowly.

"Yes."

"I can understand why, a pretty girl like you." His face is a loaded double meaning and I nod emphatically.

I understand that he may be concerned about the Capitol's reaction.

"Yes." I repeat frostily. "Katniss and Peeta are so in love the Capitol could never separate them." I laugh and hope it doesn't sound so fake.

Haymitch nods and scrutinizes me closely for a moment.

"Nice meeting you Chardonnay."

I sigh and don't bother to correct him.

He leaves and my gaze travels to the ceiling where I'll soon be rising up into. Out onto a stage where millions will be watching.

I don't even know where I shall be coming out onto the stage, not to mention my prep team and Geo. I roll my eyes at the outfit's they were squeezing themselves into before I came down. Why couldn't I get sensible people like Cinna? Geo had informed with a bitter note in his voice that I had to wear something to match the District 12 Victor's.

"So I went with gold because they're using yellow. Gold is better then yellow because it's shinier and shows we make power." He told me childishly, tugging the dress over my head as Hermia tied the ribbons around my legs.

The ballet shoes are a sense of familiarity to me and remind myself that soon I'll be home… If I think hard enough, I can convince myself all my troubles will be over when I return to my District.

I'll see my family again… my heart aches and I hum under my breath, rising up on my tiptoes and slowly twirling around.

There is something calming about the familiar dance moves, perhaps the fluency I gain as I spin around in perfect control. Maybe it feels that my Mother is close as she taught me to dance.

Whatever the reason time speeds up and suddenly I can hear Caesar talking to the roaring crowd. I can hear the prep teams being introduced, and Effie and Keeva, and the stylists. Of course Cinna and Portia garner more applause then Geo and I wonder if he can keep the sour expression off his face. Haymitch and Ailey's applause lasts at least five minutes and I smile despite myself.

And now my plate is moving me upwards and I stand straight, feeling all jittery with nerves and anticipation.

Lights dazzle me and I blink rapidly. Katniss is looking around wide-eyed and her face breaks into a huge smile when she sees Peeta and myself. I grin and rush over. The three of us collide into a hug and I want to whisper if they know about what will happen but the crowd is so loud… they must know, Haymitch must have told them if he bothered to tell me.

Peeta and Katniss start to kiss and I step back awkwardly. Caesar laughs and throws an arm around my shoulder.

"Carumati!" He yells grandly. "How do you feel?"

"I…" My mouth is dry and I lick my lips. "I can't believe it." I let out a funny gasp, half hysterical from the relief of my allies alive and healthy, the pressure to not get in the way of their romance, the sickening thought of what is awaiting soon…

Caesar leads me to a plush red sofa and I sit down, waiting patiently for Katniss and Peeta to join. They come a few minutes later, flushed and in Katniss's case embarrassed. She tucks up next to Peeta and squeezes my hand, grey eyes glowing.

I smile as the lights dim and the show starts. A three hour show of everything that happened the last few weeks. It shows the reaping, the Chariot ride, our training scores and interviews.

I cringe in embarrassment as my interview is show and beside me Katniss smiles gently.

I recall how nervous Luc was before and how Keeva grew more and more annoyed.

The arena flashes onto the screen and I watch Luc's death in full. I don't know what expression is on my face as I watch the boy from home getting hacked to death by Azure from 4, before he gets killed by Thresh.

I watch what happened to Katniss ; the fire, learning Peeta teamed up with the Careers. It only shows a few clips of me. Dancing across the mines, watching as the Careers get stung with tracker-jackers. It shows the mines exploding, I and Katniss teaming up. Rue dying, Katniss singing. Finding Peeta and nursing him to health, my betrayal before the Feast. Thresh's death and Katniss's head swings around to look at me wide-eyed when she sees where I was. The reveal of my name, the fight. I watch myself kill Clove and close my eyes. I already have it memorised in my head, no need to watch it again on the big screen. Cato's long death and finally the moment with the berries. Katniss literally strangling me to spit them out. She shoots me a sheepish look and I smile slightly. It ends with Katniss banging in the hovercraft at Peeta who was being operated on. His legs looks severely bad and he has a cane. My eyes flit down to his leg. He has an prosthetic leg of course, although I doubt Katniss has noticed.

The anthem starts and President Snow comes up with a crown for each of us. His smile is a clear reminder of what is to come and I shrink in on myself until Katniss jabs my side. I wave, mouth stretching into a smile that probably looks more like a grimace. Then we are whisked off stage.

Katniss hugs me tightly. "I haven't heard from you at all…" She breathes. "I thought you'd died from the Nightlock after all."

"No you got it all out of my system." I smile.

"About that… I don't regret it you know."

"I know." I turn to Peeta. "You're better."

"Yes." He says, eyes shining as he grins. "And now-"

"Carumati!" Keeva suddenly appears. "You need to get ready!"

I pull a face at Katniss and Peeta. "See you l-"

"Now!"

"It's only the President's Mansion." I grumble. "I've already been there today."

"Yes but you're also meeting someone else after." Geo rolls his eyes as he redresses me for the third time today.

I remember what President Snow promised, about being 'trained' before going home and my palms grow sweaty.

The biggest show of the night is about to start.

* * *

><p><strong>Crap last line I know, but I couldn't think of anything else haha. Did you think the President Snow scene was okay? I'm a bit worried I didn't have him in character. Next chapter has one of my favourite characters in :D <strong>

**xXx**


	10. Expectations

**Wow! Over 60 reviews thank you! I started writing this chapter as soon as I finished the last one, so I hope you like it :)**

* * *

><p><em><strong>Previously...<strong>_

_"It's only the President's Mansion." I grumble. "I've already been there today."_

_"Yes but you're also meeting someone else after." Geo rolls his eyes as he redresses me for the third time today._

_I remember what President Snow promised, about being 'trained' before going home and my palms grow sweaty._

_The biggest show of the night is about to start._

* * *

><p><span>Expectations <span>

I look like a porcelain doll. My hair is done up in an elaborate Capitol-esque style and my lips are painted crimson red. Silver earrings glimmer in my ears and my eyelashes feel heavy with mascara, I think Sampson called it.

"You look pale." Katniss manages to whisper in between photos.

"Do I?" I murmur faintly, eyes flickering around the room which is a hub of activity. The place is a large enough room even with so many people packed in, but the air is saturated with a million different perfumes that make my eyes water.

She nods, forehead creased in concern. "Do you-"

"The star-crossed lovers!" A Capitol citizen shrieks and flings their arm around Katniss and Peeta. Katniss's smile is very nearly a scowl and the edges of my lips tilt into a smile before I drift through the crowd.

Nobody seems that interested in me, I'm just the little one from 5 who won by accident. Or maybe, I ponder as I watch two teen girls look around frantically, I'm just good at hiding. I end up on the outskirts of the room sipping a bowl of blue punch which tastes weird.

The whole Capitol is weird.

"I sponsored you, you know. I like smart people." I look around wildly before I see the middle aged woman. For Capitol standards, she's pretty normal. Her dark chestnut hair is streaked with dark green and her nails are a neon blue and orange but apart from that no other alterations are visible.

"I'm Rivera Vandeviere." She introduces herself and I shake her hand.

"I won't bother to ask for a photo." She smiles brightly and flutters her pink eyelashes. "How old are you again?"

"15."

"You remind me of my daughter. I wish she was as smart as you." She sighs.

"Oh. I'm sixteen in three months." I add awkwardly.

"My daughter died when she was fifteen." She sighs, eyes clouded with grief.

I stop an Avox waiter passing and take two chocolate cupcakes, passing one to Rivera.

"Chocolate makes me feel better." I tell her before nibbling at the cake slowly. "We don't have chocolate in District 5."

"No I don't suppose you do, do you?" She says thoughtfully, manoeuvring her nails carefully to eat the delicacy.

It's then that I notice the large rose tattoo spiralling down from her left shoulder to her hip. She spies me looking and smiles wryly.

"It's for our President. He likes roses."

I smile properly for the first time that night. "I know. Maybe you should go show him."

She winks at me. "I don't think so." She smiles. "I like you Carumati Poder."

And then I get distracted by a group wanting a photo of the 3 victors, and when I look up she's gone.

I realize a while later eating chocolate is a bad idea when waiting for something bad to happen. My stomach churns sickenly and I sit down abruptly on one of the fancy chairs lining the huge room. The flashing cameras don't help, and make me even dizzier.

"Carumati? Are you feeling okay?" Ailey says and I look up and shrug weakly. "I got a note from an Avox saying you're needed upstairs, room 421."

"Okay." I say and get up, taking a deep breath.

Somehow I manage to walk upstairs and stand in front of the door for a minute composing myself.

I muster the courage to twist the doorknob and step in.

The room is empty.

The red silk adorned bed is not even crumpled, and the lamps make the whole room bathed in a rosy amber glow. Sensual and alluring. I silently shut the door behind me.

I can hear the shower running, so I slowly creep to sit on the huge bed. My posture is remarkable, my hands folded neatly in my lap. I may look in control, but my mind is in overdrive.

Who's in the shower? Will I be expected to - just- _now? _

"You look like you're going to puke." A voice drifts from the bathroom and I look up. I choke wide-eyed.

Finnick Odair grins at me. _Finnick Odair. _With only a towel on, and water dripping down his bare chest.

I drop my gaze to stare at the soft carpet floor as my cheeks burn.

"I'm not that repulsive am I?" He chuckles and I shake my head automatically.

"No" I breathe. "I-I was sent here" I stammer, feeling my cheeks warm. "By President Snow. He said that you would…" I swallow thickly. "Train me."

I chance a glance to look up again. Finnick smiles grimly and sits next to me.

I tense immediately.

"He likes having victors together you know."

"No I didn't" I stay rooted in position.

"Um… you probably don't want to do it with me" I tell him, face burning. "And that's fine because, well I've never done it so…" I squirm and he looks at me astonished.

"A beautiful dancer like you? No I don't believe it"

His sea green eyes twinkle as I gape at him startled.

"How do you know I dance?" I say wide-eyed and he runs a hand through his hair.

"Ailey told me."

"Oh." Curiosity gets the better of me. "Have you done it with her?"

He laughs loudly.

"Sorry." I mumble embarrassed. What was wrong with me?

Finnick shakes his head. "I like you."

"Really?" I say doubtfully, fiddling with a strand of hair nervously.

"Yeah." He smiles, licking his lips slightly. He winks at me and I get flustered again.

"We have to do it don't we?" I ask and he nods.

"You know you can call it sex." He says, a mischievous glint in those incredible eyes.

"Stop it!" A laugh escapes my lips despite the situation.

I sober up remarkably quickly as he starts to talk about it.

"Yes we have to have sex." I squirm slightly. "But I'd rather you did it with me then any of the other people in the Capitol."

"You don't mean that" I grimace. "I'm just a little girl. And… I always wanted my first to mean something."

Ridiculous, I'm getting tears in my eyes. I blink rapidly, feeling stupid.

"Don't we all?" Finnick says. "Believe me Caru when I say I'll enjoy this only because if I let you go now to a Capitol person and let them…" He trails off, shaking his head. "You know it's not scary." He says gently, hand creeping out to cover mine. A delightful glow spreads through my body.

"I'm not scared." I tell him, a blatant lie. "I just…"

"I understand." He brushes a strand of hair away from my face. "Don't you want me?" He pouts ridiculously and I giggle.

"I didn't say that."

"Well no women would." He says cockily and I laugh.

"You think I'm funny huh?" He says before pushing me backwards on the bed, hands tickling my sides until I'm squirming, gasping for breath.

"St-" He stops me with a kiss.

It's deep and sensual and _good_. It sends my body into delightful tingles and I shiver as he pulls away.

I look at him dizzily. _Finnick Odair _just kissed me. _Me. _

"That was my first kiss." I say dreamily before slamming a hand over my mouth.

He laughs softly.

"I'm screwing this up so bad." I groan, patting my mussed hair nervously. "President Snow-"

"Caru." Finnick holds my hands tightly and stares into my eyes. "Relax."

"But-"

"Relax."

"I'm 15." I say desperately. "I just want to go _home_."

"I understand you've just been in the Hunger Games." Finnick soothed, stroking my hair. "And I know you really don't want to do this, and I know you don't have a choice but I'm going to help you Caru. I want this to be good for you okay?"

I look up at him and wipe my eyes which are threatening to overflow with tears. "Now I feel stupid."

"No." Finnick shakes his head. "It's perfectly normal."

I look at him sceptically.

"For girls." He rephrases and I snort.

"Of course."

"Relax. It'll be fun." Finnick promises before kissing me again.

I feel like I'm being torn apart.

There's the moral part of me that claims this is wrong, and did I want to be promiscuous? I had to wait for the right time, with the right person and did I agree to this really? Have I really thought through the consequences of this action?

And then there's the immoral side that doesn't care because it's _Finnick Odair, _and the plan will work on the others, and I could use the plan on Finnick if I _really _wanted to, but it turns out I don't want to.

So I kiss Finnick back and try not to focus on the dividing thoughts in my head making me confused. Instead I focus on the sensation of his lips on mine, and the butterflies in my stomach at the nervousness and excitement of losing my virginity to Finnick Odair despite the circumstances.

And when we stop kissing my lips are swollen and I'm gasping for breath as his hand slowly creeps to my collar.

"If you really don't want to…" Finnick tells me but all that's forgotten now.

It's embarrassing the lust that takes over me, but I am a fifteen year old girl and how am I supposed to act when the most famous man in all of Panem is currently kissing me so hard I can't even think straight?

"It'll hurt for a while" He warns but all I'm capable of is a moan in response as his hands travel up my leg, lips hot on my neck.

* * *

><p>Secrets. Finnick trades secrets for pleasure, as I discover when I sleepily look up to see him getting dressed a few hours later. I'd spent a minority of the time dozing lightly on his chest after and the movement of him getting out of the bed wakes me up.<p>

"Sorry. I have to go." He says apologetically. "Now you've had your training…"

I cock my head. "You didn't really reveal any trade secrets."

He smiles. "Didn't you know?" His breath is cool on my sweaty cheek as he leans in close, and my body tingles in response. "I deal in secrets."

"So you don't get jewels, or money, you get secrets instead." I smile slightly. "That would be useful I suppose, if you wanted to… embarrass someone."

I'm fully aware of the microphones in the room and I'm sure Finnick is too as he takes a while before answering.

"Yes, it would be wouldn't it?"

We stare at each other for a minute and I debate whether to tell him my big secret, my plan.

I decide against it. Who knows what he'll do with the secrets. Perhaps he will 'embarrass' me and tell President Snow and my whole family will end up dead.

I recline back into the fluffy pillows, watching him redress as my mind hazily goes over what has happened. My lips are swollen and I'm sure my face is red because the duvet is sticking to my damp skin. I run a hand through my bedraggled hair and watch Finnick tug a shirt over his toned chest.

It takes me a minute to recall what Finnick has told me, and about how even I back in District 5 have heard of his adventures with women old and young, pretty and plain. And if he gets paid in secrets…

"How many secrets do you know?" I ask quietly, trying not to add pity to my tone. For all he knows, I myself will soon be a treasure trove of scandalous information as I'm passed from person to person.

He takes a while to answer, putting a watch on his wrist and turning to look at himself in the mirror. I can see the slump of his shoulders as he messes with his hair. "Too many to count." He finally replies. "You'll be okay now?" He asks and I nod. "It get's better."

"Well I'm not sure; I had Finnick Odair for my first." I say slyly and Finnick laughs.

"What happened to the shy girl I met?"

I eye him intensely. "Appearances can be deceiving."

He squirms uncomfortably; I have an uncanny knack for reading body language, and between the mass of secrets he has hoarded, and 'Annie' whispered in my ear, and the way he shifts so easily between feeling sorry and being professional, I know Finnick is hurting.

He doesn't want to do this either.

So when he comes to kiss my forehead goodbye, I squeeze his hand and say he's welcome to come visit 5 whenever he wants.

"Oh I'm sure I'll see you soon enough Caru." He says unhappily, trying to smile before going. He closes the door and I sink back into the pillows, staring at the ceiling.

Well that was certainly… interesting.

I smile to myself, and look at the clock. My eyes widen in dismay; I'm so late! Ailey is going to kill me!

I swing out of the bed and wince at the throbbing pain that suddenly appears. I grit my teeth and start to get dressed, tugging my dress over my head frantically.

I look around for my shoes, where's my other shoe?

I hobble around looking for it, finally finding it under the bed. When I'm dressed I do a quick once-over in the mirror before leaving.

I slowly walk to the elevator and head to the ground floor. I'm relieved when there's still a decent amount of people for it to look like I've been here awhile unnoticed.

The thought has barely crossed my mind when there's a shout.

"Foxface!" A photographer with about ten piercings on his face alone starts taking pictures. I grimace in surprise and annoyance, I'll be forever known as Foxface now won't I?

I repeat the thought to Katniss when she reappears by my side a moment later.

"Sorry." She smiles. "But it suits you."

"I don't really have a face like a fox do I?" I say vaguely, mind mostly still in room 421.

"Well you kind of act like one." Katniss tries to make it better but realizes it's not working.

"Where have you been?" She frowns, changing the subject. "They've been hounding us for pictures." She mutters irritably under her breath, beaming brilliantly when the camera flashes at us again. I blink in surprise.

"I just had stuff to do." I shrug and leave it at that. After President Snow's warning and my time with Finnick, I gather if Katniss knows it will bring more trouble then it's worth. So I keep my mouth shut and try not to blush as I recall Finnick-

"Well Effie and Haymitch say we have to go now, we have our interview on air live at 2." She tells me. "Although I doubt I'll be able to sleep."

"Mmm." I say vaguely. I'm exhausted, not just from being with Finnick but the banquet also, and the recap of the Games before…

I yawn and Katniss smiles.

"You definitely need to sleep. I'll see you at 2." She says and disappears before I can answer. Katniss isn't very sociable, I don't think and neither am myself. I'm much more used to being in the background unnoticed. Maybe I am like a fox after all. I'm certainly sly, and if I manage to pull off my plan with my first official 'client'…

"There you are." Ailey says, interrupting my musing. She frowns at me. "I've found her Keeva!"

"Oh thank god." My escort says dramatically, eyelashes fluttering so wildly I don't think she can even see anything. "Where have you been Carumati?"

"I had stuff to do." I repeat evasively and she huffs.

"Well you could have _told us-_"

"Ailey knew."

I direct the blame in my mentor's direction and the two start bickering as I'm led back to the training centre where we stayed before the Games. As soon as we get to level 5 I stagger to my bed and fall into a deep dreamless sleep.

* * *

><p>The next day I'm woken at noon, and have a quick meal of toast and Hot Chocolate before being whisked away to my prep team.<p>

"Look at the bruises!" Hermia shrieks. "What have you been doing? You naughty girl!" She squeaks with laughter and I feel a flush rise on my cheeks.

Why can't any of my people be nice? Katniss has calm, quiet, amazing Cinna and I have bitchy childish Geo. She gets eccentric but fun Effie and I get annoying and sneering Keeva.

Geo dresses me in a gauzy white dress and my ballet shoes again, while Hermia straightens my hair and adds a flower.

The interview takes place in the sitting room of floor 12, and I and Katniss stare at each other as I approach an hour and forty five minutes later.

"We have the same dress."

"Cinna requested it." Geo snipes and I roll my eyes as he storms off.

"Really he should be pleased I'm wearing such a nice dress." I tell Katniss who smiles. "Peeta!"

"Hi Caru." He grins. "How are you?"

"I'm good. You look dashing." I tease but it's true. He's dressed in red and white and pulls Katniss over for a talk. Caesar takes that time to smile at me, teeth blinding as he squeezes my arm.

"Congratulations Carumati. How are you feeling?"

"Good." I smile. "The Capitol's lovely but I can't wait to see my family again."

"Of course." He nods understandingly. "The interview won't take long, it'll be fine."

Katniss curls up next to Peeta and I sit awkwardly beside her. Caesar settles into his chair and then we're live streaming all across of Panem.

I manage to smile, if only for the sake of my family and friends. I ache at the thought of being so near to them yet so far. Just this interview, and then I'm going back home.

I mostly tune out of the interview but Caesar does ask me a few questions.

"Why did you decide to team up with Katniss? You seemed to be doing fairly well on your own."

"Well she'd just blown up the Career's and my food supply. So I had no food, and she got an eleven in training. I thought she was going to kill me when she aimed that arrow at my heart." I smile faintly at the memory.

"And I thought I'd get a knife in the back." Katniss pipes up.

Peeta chuckles. "It's a good thing I was there to keep the peace Caesar, who knows what would have happened?"

Peeta and Caesar go off into their usual comedy routine and I smile at Katniss slightly. She's just as nervous as I am, shrinking into Peeta's side.

The interview doesn't last too long, thank god and I'm soon hustled onto the train platform with my fellow victors.

"Home." I sigh wistfully and Katniss sags with relief as Peeta beams.

"You'll have to come visit us in 12 Caru."

"Yeah and you can come to 5, although I'll doubt you want to." I crinkle my nose. "It rains a lot."

"So that's why you loved the arena so much."

"Yeah." I say dryly. "The arena was the best place on earth."

The awkward pause means Cinna swiftly steps in with his goodbyes, Portia too. Geo hasn't even come to wave me off even though I'll be seeing him in a few months for my Victory tour.

"Hurry up Katniss, Peeta!" Effie trills. "Time to say your goodbyes!"

Katniss hovers awkwardly for a moment before hugging me. She pulls away quickly.

"Bye Caru."

"Bye Katniss."

Peeta hugs me and bids me farewell, a safe journey home.

"You too." I tell him, both of them.

"You'll see each other for the Victory tour!" Keeva announces exasperatedly, checking her watch. "Where is _our _train?"

I wave as Peeta and Katniss board their train and sit down beside my mentor on the bench at the back of the platform.

"Ailey." I start and she looks at me wearily.

"Mmm?"

"Did you ever get a meeting with President Snow?"

"Yes."

"Did you do what he said?"

"You always do what he says." She says sharply, face half in shadow.

"What if-"

"No Caru. Whatever you're thinking don't do it." She eyes me suspiciously and I artlessly smooth my face out.

"I'm not planning anything." I lie, and stand up as the train arrives.

"Good." She murmurs under her breath as she follows me onto the train.

I watch the Capitol flash by and rest my head against the window, closing my eyes briefly.

In a few hours I'll be home and I can look back on my time in the Capitol as a mere nightmare.

* * *

><p><strong>Next chapter you get to meet Carumati's family! I hope you like the cameo of Finnick, and the scene... I was going to do it a bit more graphic but decided against it overall. Any guesses at what her plan will be? ;) <strong>


	11. Differences

**Thank you so much for the reviews! I get so more then I expected :) This chapter is... well I think it's okay. I wasn't really sure how to write it and fit everything in I wanted to, so hopefully the quality will improve next chapter. Enjoy! x**

* * *

><p><em><strong>Previously...<strong>__  
><em>

_"I'm not planning anything." I lie, and stand up as the train arrives._

_"Good." She murmurs under her breath as she follows me onto the train._

_I watch the Capitol flash by and rest my head against the window, closing my eyes briefly._

_In a few hours I'll be home and I can look back on my time in the Capitol as a mere nightmare._

* * *

><p><span>Differences.<span>

I wait impatiently as the train rolls to a stop the next morning. I'd spent an unsettled night trying to get to sleep and failing. Truth be told, I don't want to fall asleep. I'm sure I'll see Clove's face or something equally bad, although with the memories of Finnick still invading my minds at awkward moments perhaps my dreams would be nice. I weigh them up and decide one encounter with a celebrity doesn't go far when there are mutts and death involved. Clove…

"Your things will be moved to a house in the Victor's Village in a few hours so you'll need to stop off at your old house to tell them what to take." Ailey tells me, motioning to two Avox. "I can introduce you to the other Victors later."

I nod eagerly, bouncing on the balls of my feet and my mentor smiles.

"Thank you." I tell her, although I don't know why I'm thanking her. I relied only on my own smarts and Katniss and Peeta for my time in the arena. I'm reminded of the apple pie at the Feast and the jumper she sent. The jumper that is somewhere in the Capitol after I threw it away. It was nice and warm but in my head was still blood-stained despite it's clean appearance, and it just brought back the bad memories with even more force.

Nevertheless I thank my mentor and she smiles. Ailey Brites, 56th Hunger Games Victor. 35 years old and unlike the majority of Victors never turned to drink or drugs to sooth her memories.

"It was all down to you." She smiles, dark green eyes crinkling at the corners.

Tears pool in my eyes with relief as the train comes to a smooth stop.

The doors open and I bolt off, straight into the arms of my Dad, ignoring the cameras flashing and the people shouting.

"Oh Caru…" My Dad breathes into my hair as he holds me tightly. I inhale his familiar smell and voice and cling to him tightly.

"Dad." I gasp as he strokes my hair fretfully like he's scared I'll disappear again.

I finally take a step back and look at him closely. Stress is evident on my Father from the greying hair and puffy dark eyes but he is still smiling with happiness, relief that his youngest child has come back from the arena alive. He's wearing his best clothes, the ones he saves for the Reaping days where there are cameras. The wind tosses his dark hair and as he stops stroking my hair I see the sore blisters blotting his calloused hands.

I'm suddenly flung into the air and let out a shriek.

"Put me down!" I squirm panically and Ethan lets out a hiss as I kick him. "Put me down!" I wriggle, all the hairs on my arms standing up in panic.

"You won!" Ethan booms and there's a thud of impact. Ethan groans as my oldest brother thumps him; and he automatically drops me. I stagger on the ground, smile at my brothers and try to stop the erratic panicked beat of my heart hammering in my chest.

Jarrett hugs me tightly.

"We knew you'd win."

There's a scoffing sound and I sigh.

"Actually Jarrett we thought she'd have no chance whatsoever because she's from lousy District 5."

I turn to look at Alcandor who scrunches his nose in distaste. He's grown taller in my absence but he's still not as tall as Hubert and Jarrett.

"But you won anyway. Well done." He adds grudgingly, running a hand through his dark brown almost black hair as he kicks a stone with his shoe.

"Thanks." I mumble surprised. Alcandor rarely goes out of his way to speak to me aside from complaints, and my other brothers are normally too busy fighting each other to pay attention to the little girl.

"Actually." Hubert pipes up. "After the bloodbath your chance of survival got much larger and of course when you joined your allies… a certain risk but it turned out well." He smiles wryly at me.

Ailey hurries us away from the cameras at the stations, and a rosy glow warms my chest. Maybe this time things will be different.

Or not.

Alcandor is already arguing with Hubert, and Ethan's chuckling to Jarrett about something who's not listening.

"You know I bet you could fit a dance studio in our house now." Jarrett teases, ruffling my hair.

"Practise for mine-hopping."

"Can we?" I say wistfully. "I don't know if the Capitol would let me."

"You're a Victor now sis." Ethan grins, dimples appearing on his freckled cheeks. "You could ask for the world and get it!"

"Yeah." I say lamely and try not to recall President Snow's threat.

* * *

><p>I look around in awe.<p>

The large Victor's house is nothing like our small shabby one in the heart of 5. For starters, the Victor's village is surrounded by lush green and flowers, an abnormality in District 5. The garden surrounding my house is a perfect square of grass with a pebble path. The décor inside is even more fancy, and although it's beautiful I want to strip some stuff down to make it more homey.

An Avox taps my shoulder, muscles bunched with effort to carry a large box of clothes.

"Oh don't worry, my brothers can sort it. I can if you want." I smile and he shakes his head, pursing his lips.

"Honest it's fine." I tell him and he looks at me for a minute.

"You and your partner can go back. Thank you." He nods and hurriedly makes his exit. I rummage through the box and pause when I see the family picture. I blow the dust off the smiling faces. It must have been took about nine years ago. My brothers are lined up. Jarrett beaming, his 13 year old self proudly showing off his siblings. Ethan tongue is out and his red hair glitters in the sun. Alcandor has his typical mulish look on his face, pouting as he jabs his Hubert in the gut who's squinting at the camera. My Mom and Dad are in the second row in the middle of their boys. Mom with her curly dark hair and her bright gentle smile. Dad with his arm around her waist and smiling, the corner of his eyes wrinkling. Then there's me in the middle of them, smiling gap-toothed with my hair a flyaway mess.

We don't have a lot of photos, cameras are a rarity in D5 as they're so expensive. I prop it up against the cardboard box and pull out the others.

Mom and Dad together, Ethan covered in dirt and laughing. Alcandor sat on Mom's knee and smiling adoringly up at her.

"What are you looking at?" Alcandor's voice makes me jump.

"Just photos." I say and he saunters over, brows furrowed as he looks at the one of him and Mom.

"Do you want it in your room?" I ask and he shakes his head.

"No." He snaps. "I can't believe you've put decorating higher in priorities then visiting Mom."

"I'm going to visit her after!" I say, staring at him. "Do you honestly think I didn't think of her at all in the arena Alcandor?"

"Are you two arguing already?" Jarrett pops his head in and frowns.

I shake my head. "No." I gather up the photos. "Can you clean the frames? I'm going to sort out my room."

"Sure." He says easily, loping over and taking them. "Need any help with moving furniture?"

"Not yet." I scurry away to my room.

I stand at the doorway and my eyes wander over the fluffy white carpet and four poster bed with the light sand wood and blue silk sheets. Very light and airy. I go over to the shiny white wardrobe which takes up a whole side of the room. There's books in the back and I open them curiously.

My heart stutters and my breathing hitches when I realize what they are. Books devoted to my other D5 victors, detailing their reaping, their time in the Capitol and how they won. It even included glossy pictures of the arena and their kills. I turn the page over and it cracks, clearly they are brand new and never been used before. I look at Ailey's face, sunburnt and tired but green eyes still glittering and trying to survive. I turn the page and see a picture of the Career's tent on fire, their shadows dancing grotesquely, Ailey's face as she watches, a blend of shock and unwanted pleasure-

Clove dying-

I shake my head and bolt upwards, shoving the books back into the wardrobe and slamming it shut, walking over to my ensuite bathroom and leaning over the porcelain sink. I splash my face with water and look at my reflection. Hollowed bags under my eyes and limp looking shiny red hair. Amber eyes dull, lips cracked. I do not look like the girl I was before the Games, I am not the girl before the Games. I am now a murderer and no matter how the word makes me sick in my stomach it is true. I have been manipulated however minor by the Capitol and Finnick Odair, and I have no idea if my plan has to work, because you always have to have a plan… My mind hurts from the last few days of the arena, the winning, President Snow, Finnick, returning home…

I knead my forehead tiredly before straightening and going to find my brothers.

I find Hubert standing under the shower fully-clothed and looking in amazement at the different options you could get.

"Amazing." He says. "How they can do it; and not override the electrics and-"

He goes off into a complicated tangent and I nod.

"Bertie?" I ask and he nods, smiling dopily.

"Yes?"

"Did you really believe I would win? Were the odds in my favour or not?" I ask.

"Of course I believed in you; I'm sure that knowing we believed in you made your odds increase significantly and made you perform better psychologically. And your human-food ratio had to be taken into account because when Katniss blew the supplies it lost all your nutrients, but then you did team up and fully reinstate afterwards which did have it's downfalls of course, it would take more time for your body to sap your energy and move onto your fat reserves which is why you can see your cheekbones." He finishes his speech and looks at me seriously, his lopsided suit for the cameras soaking wet and his amber eyes searching mine.

Hubert is undeniably the most logical thinking of our family despite my cleverness. We also share our eyes, the only trait. Whereas I and Ethan both share Mother's fire-red locks the rest of my brothers and Father have varying shades of brown.

I slowly drift away from Hubert and go back to my room, rifle through my wardrobe and find my leotard. I clutch it for a moment with eyes closed, savouring the memories before I quickly peel my clothes off. I examine the large purple bruises on my thighs and flush, cheeks prickling with heat before I tug my purple leotard on, and my ballet shoes. I take my time tying the pink satin ribbons, stroking them comfortingly before tying my hair up and heading downstairs.

I find my Dad in the kitchen, staring out of the window to the District beyond.

"Can you see our house?" I ask and he startles, turning around slowly.

"Our old house now." He squeezes my hand between his and I scan the identical grey buildings, lopsided and blackened with the soot pouring from the factories in the distance.

"I'm off to the dance studio." I tell my Dad. "I'm going to go visit Mom after."

"Don't be too long." He smiles softly, kisses my forehead. "I've missed you too much, I worry…"

I nod and go out, grabbing my old coat from a peg near the front door. Luckily it appears not to have rained and I thank god my ballet shoes won't get stained. I slither through dark backstreets and alleys, occasionally passing a person who congratulates me.

When I eventually come out in the West part of District 5 twenty minutes later, the dance studio looming in front of me brings tears to my eyes. I practically skip in there, opening the familiar doors. The dance studio is empty, just like it normally is when Mrs Spark's classes aren't on.

It's hard to believe just two months ago I'd done the same, but now everything has changed.

There's nobody to play the piano in the corner, but I can dance without music. I glide to the centre of the wooden floor, the only light coming from the murky light outside in the windows at the top of the room.

I count under my breath before rising up, spinning around. I rise into the Arabesque position then a Assemblé, skipping around. I spin around faster, so fast. My hair slowly works it's way out of my ponytail and starts to flail around me. I ignore it, concentrating firmly on the rhythm and time-

My mind automatically relaxes, my headache disappearing. I can even stop the visions of Clove temporarily. I don't know how much later it is when I hear a noise and startle, looking up to see figures wavering slightly. I blink and my head clears.

"We thought we'd find you here." My friends grin and I beam, running towards them.

"Jay." I sigh into his chest and my friend chuckles, his chest rumbling.

"Hey; we called at your house and your Dad said you were here."

He looks at me carefully, green eyes searching mine intensely. He doesn't ask me how I'm feeling; he knows me so well that he knows I don't want to talk about it at all. I feel my cheeks turn hot and I see the stubble on his chin, the ruffled brown hair. Old reawakened feelings stir in my stomach and it flutters.

I run a hand through my hair awkwardly until I'm saved by a fierce hug from my another of my friends.

Aubrey hugs me excitedly. "I knew you'd do it!" Her curly blonde hair bounces in time with her as she grins and steps back, green cat-eyes gleaming. "And you have to introduce me to Peeta." She pouts ridiculously and I laugh.

"Seriously Caru I've been a wreck without you." She wraps an arm around mine and I can see the bitten fingernails that are normally perfect. She prides herself on her appearance and I'm touched by how much she genuinely cares.

"Sorry for making you worry." I tell her, voice wavering towards crying and she waves me off.

"I'm just glad you're home." She squeezes my arm. "You danced yourself all out?"

I nod. "Yeah. You can walk me home if you want."

She nods, lips pursed.

"Where's Sorrel?" I look around, trying not to feel disappointed that my other best friend isn't with my welcome group.

Aubrey shifts uncomfortably, avoiding my gaze. "You should see what the little kids at school did for you Caru, it was amazing they did-"

"What are you not telling me?" I ask as we walk out of the dance studio where I see my dark-haired friend. Why did she wait outside? She's leant against the railings and when she sees me her lips quirk into an amused if slightly nasty smile. She looks immaculate as usual, and it's no wonder why she has boys tripping over her feet.

"Well…" Aubrey trails off as Sorrel comes forward.

"Hi Carumati." She smiles and it's malicious and nothing like Sorrel at all. I frown at her.

"Hi Sorrel. I missed you."

"You haven't seen Jay have you?" She says, a nasty gleam appearing in her dark blue eyes as I flush. She tosses her black locks and grins when he appears behind us.

"Hey baby." She says, voice sickenly sweet as she drags him in for a kiss.

"Come on." Aubrey says, voice tense as she drags me away and my stomach drops as I realize what Sorrel has done-

We round the corner and start down the soot covered alley.

"She knew I liked him." I say and tears well up in my eyes. "Did she think I was as good as dead so made a move on him?"

"Pretty much." Aubrey says firmly. "But you just need to ignore her."

"What else has she been saying?" I demand.

"Well…" Aubrey drags it out, little pink tongue darting nervously across her lips. "She's just been saying stupid stuff really… I mean Jay doesn't like it but he doesn't - exactly… stop it."

The one thing I can count on for Aubrey is honesty.

"But hey you don't have to go to school and hear it!" Aubrey says brightly. Another trait I love; always looking on the bright side of things. "You're so lucky; I mean with Kyle working in the factory I'm going to be _so bored." _

"How are you and Kyle?" I ask, referring back to her long-term boyfriend.

"Good." She sighs happily. "In fact…" She sing-songs as she holds up her left hand.

I gape at the engagement ring. "Aubrey!"

"I know!" She squeals, thrilled. "My Mom wasn't too pleased." Her face darkens for a second. "But Dad was happy. Of course I need to finish school first but it's only a few months."

"The Reaping Aubrey." I say, filled with anguish.

She waves it away with a casual flick of her hand. "Hey if you could win I can."

"What's that supposed to mean? What talents do you have anyway besides from being honest?"

"I'd kill them with my wicked truths." We cackle with laughter as we walk back through the District.

"And what truths would those be? What have I missed?" I'm eager for news, to fill in my absence like I've never left.

"Well like I was saying before, the little kids at school made all these signs and stood outside selling tickets to a dance recital. Purely dedicated to you of course, all the proceeds from the tickets and buffet."

I blink more tears away, emotion only just kept at bay right now. "That's so nice."

"I know. Oh are you going to visit your Mom?"

I nod, pausing at the crossroads. "I'll see you tomorrow yeah?"

"Just come call whenever. I know you'll be busy."

She pulls me in for a hug and I wrap my arms around her tightly, closing my eyes.

"I missed you."

"I know." She grins, eyes sparkling with impish mischief. "But don't worry you'll regret it soon."

I laugh, a gurgling sound in the back of my throat that isn't quite laughter. My eyes water and she blurs in front of my vision. Aubrey pats my arm before hastily leaving. Tears aren't her forte.

I carry on in the opposite direction, the sky turning quickly twilight. I open the black iron gate and it creaks chillingly as I walk up the path. There's no one else around, and I sink to the ground, wishing I'd brought flowers or something. Everything mixes in my head; Clove, Games, Snow, Home, Sorrel…

"Hey Mom." I smile softly at the gravestone, laying my cheek against the cool stone.

"I miss you." I say and start sobbing.

I had the strange absurd notion that when I got home it would be like nothing had changed.

I was wrong for one of the few times in my life.

* * *

><p><strong>So I don't do ballet, and I just got those moves off Wikipedia so if they're wrong sorry! Also I just realized that it's rather like Katniss with the losing a parent thing but honestly I always saw Caru with no Mother and that's how she became so sly and clever in a house full of rowdy boys ;) <strong>

**Hope you liked the chapter! **

**xXx**


	12. Family

**Here's the next chapter for you, with a bit about the Victors of 5. Sorry it's a filler, and you will get to know more about the Victors as time goes on! Enjoy! **

* * *

><p><em><strong>Previously...<strong>_

_"Hey Mom." I smile softly at the gravestone, laying my cheek against the cool stone._

_"I miss you." I say and start sobbing._

_I had the strange absurd notion that when I got home it would be like nothing had changed._

_I was wrong for one of the few times in my life._

* * *

><p><span>Family <span>

I awaken to the swaying motion of being held as they walked, hands firmly cradling me in their arms. I squint blearily through the pouring rain drumming a pattern into my skull.

"Jarrett." I murmur and my brother looks at me.

"How are you feeling?" He asks, forehead crinkling with concern.

"Tired." I close my eyes again and my teeth chatter wildly as my body's wracked with shivers.

"You've been gone for hours."

I nod wearily, he's so warm. I'm soaked to the skin and the ongoing onslaught of rain does not help. Thunder rumbles in the distance as Jarrett picks up his pace.

"We're nearly home." Jarrett tells me, rain dripping down his forehead. He's dressed in Dad's old coat and the hood is plastered to his head as the wind howls. I tuck my face into his side, and listen to the slosh of his feet in puddles until we arrive home about five minutes later.

"I've found her." Jarrett announces as he kicks open the front door and warmth seeps into my frozen veins.

The door swiftly closes and there's a clatter of activity. I don't have the strength to open my eyes so I sink into the comforting place between sleep and awake, mind sluggishly thinking about things that aren't even relevant to the situation because I'm so _cold. _My eyelids shine patterns of amber and gold as I hazily drift, feeling warm hands touch my cheek, so alien I barely feel it under the layer of what feels like frost dusting my skin.

"Where's Dad?" Jarrett asks as he deposits me in the living room. Hubert is barking instructions about body temperature and preserving warmness… it echoes in my mind and makes my head hurt and I scrunch up my forehead in pain, moving an inch trying in vain to make the coldness stop.

"He's still looking for her, go get him Al."

"My name is Alcandor and I'm not going outside. Have you not noticed there's a thunderstorm?" Alcandor sneers and there's a minor scuffle before Ethan goes out.

I'm so _cold… _it seeps into my bones and makes my teeth rattle.

I shiver madly and Hubert looks at me.

"Hey C."

I think I manage a smile.

"Think you can manage to get your leotard off? If we go and get your pyjamas and a jumper?"

My head rolls in agreement and he and Jarrett slowly shift me into a sitting position. My muscles twinge and I rub my cold palms together. I wince slightly, goosebumps still on every spare inch of skin.

My brothers leave and I get changed as quickly as I can with fumbling fingers into my best pair of pyjamas and one of Mom's old jumpers. I sniff the faded fabric; it smells of her. Tears well up in my eyes and I wish so much for a caress of my cheek or a hug.

Hubert comes in a minute later with a piping hot cup of tea and Jarrett restocks the fire, sitting beside me and rubbing my hands between his to warm them.

"Where's Dad?" I ask weakly before sneezing. My body shakes violently and Jarrett crushes me into a hug.

"Bless you. Ethan's gone to find him." I cling to his warmth, wishing some of his heat would transfer to me. It should, my mind foggily assures me.

"Why didn't you come back?" Alcandor demands from where he stands in the corner of the room, barely illuminated by the firelight. My eyelids flutter weakly as I struggle to keep on seeing, feeling myself grow fatigued by the warmth trickling back into my body and the heavy blanket heaped on me, enclosing me in a cocoon of heat. "Are you stupid? You don't fall asleep in a graveyard!"

"She's tired Alcandor and she's just been in the Hunger Games-"

I flinch and Jarrett breaks off, stroking my hair. "Just go to sleep. Dad will be here soon."

"No." I say stubbornly, voice thick as I muster all the energy I have.

Jarrett sighs and gives in. "Try and drink some tea."

The cup rattles as I take a sip and burns my tongue. The room descends into silence, the only sound my laboured wheezes and the crackle of pages as Hubert reads in another stuffed armchair. Jarrett and Alcandor are silent, staring at each other and communicating without words. Oldest brother to youngest. I take another slurp of tea and it boils my lip, sears my aching throat and pools in my stomach hotly. I finally feel warm, and my hand slips from Jarrett as I try to resist to sleep.

"Dad." I say in relief as he comes back a few minutes later with Ethan in tow.

I blink rapidly to get the hazy tiredness out of my itching eyes as he wraps me up into a hug. "Don't do that to me." He says anxiously, eyes searching my face. "Do you know how scared I was of you?"

"Sorry." I croak.

His eyes are filled with worry, big pools of dark blue. His mouth is creased into a thick line between relief and concern and he's covered in wet _cold _rain.

I sneeze again and my nose itches, wet droplets leeching the warmth slowly but surely.

"Dad let's get you warm too…" Jarrett says and Hubert jumps up.

"You need to take your coat off and…"

Their voices gradually turn quieter, and I can hear the crackle of firewood burning and spreading hot sparks across the room, and I nestle further into my nest and let my heavy eyelids take me away from reality for a while.

* * *

><p>I wake up ill. My nose is sore and my throat stings when I swallow. My body is drained of energy, my arms and legs feel limp and useless.<p>

I'm covered in a sheen of sweat, my hair plastered to my forehead and I yawn. My mouth stretches, throat aches and I cough thickly.

"You're awake."

"Yes." I say hoarsely, voice cracking horribly as I slowly look around the room. Weak sunlight pours through the gap in the curtains at the huge bay windows, and I can hear sizzling from the kitchen. My stomach gurgles weakly at the thought of food, and Alcandor takes a sip of his black tea eyeing me contemplatively.

"Ailey came over earlier."

"What time is it?" I rasp, nose tingling. I sneeze before finding a tissue which makes Alcandor curl his lip in disgust.

"Dinnertime." He says. "Dad wants to know if you want anything to eat?"

"Just some water." I say thickly and sneeze again. Alcandor shoots me a look of disgust and throws a box of tissues at me from the side. They hit my shoulder and Alcandor eyes sparkle with malicious glee before he turns and leaves the room. I pull out a tissue tiredly, fed-up.

I've only been back one day and I'm already ill.

I hate District 5.

Dad comes in a minute later with a cool glass of water. I drink it eagerly, dribbling it down my chin messily.

"Careful." Dad says, stroking my grotty hair. I know it's greasy and probably stinks and I flush as I put the glass on the floor.

"Don't knock it over."

"I won't." I whisper. "I'm sorry Dad."

He sighs. "I know I can't be there for you always, and you've been through the Hunger Games now. You've grown up and you're not my little girl anymore-"

"Yes I am." I cough thickly. "I'm tiny."

A small smile graces his lips and he scratches the stubble on his chin. "I just want you to know I still worry about you. I worry about all of your brothers too, even Jarrett and he's twenty two. You can come to me if you're scared, or if you just want to talk about-" A weary gulp. "Your Mother."

Tears prickle my eyes. "I know." I pat his hand and he clutches it loosely. "I know Dad."

Whenever something major happens in our family Dad always tries to be both Mother and Father. And I know he tries his best, and all my brothers except Alcandor appreciate him doing it. But some things- like my period, my crushes, even winning the Hunger Games… I can't talk to my Dad about.

So despite the opening to tell him, he knows I'll chose someone else. And even as I feel bad he kisses my cheek and smoothes my hair making me feel worse.

I lay back against the pillows with a huff, feeling wretched.

I have so many things to do, and so many thoughts swirling around my brain it does me no good to stay ill. Although I love to be doted on by my brothers as I so rarely have before, I have to wonder if it is good or not. Jarrett has never ignored me, being the older brother but he has his own life with his girlfriend Katie who I haven't even seen since I got back. I consider her as family, and Jarrett knows I do. Ethan has usually never had much time for me, either playing sport or chasing girls or getting up to mischief and Hubert is normally in his own highly complicated world. Alcandor just doesn't care about anything or anyone. He sneers derisively at the term love, and Dad's always so busy with work. I've seen the huge bruises under his tired eyes and wonder how many extra hours he put in to avoid watching the moment his daughter got killed.

But it never happened and now my brother's are being nice because of the fact I evaded death, and Dad has overworked himself for nothing and I am sat here ill when I should be meeting my other Victors.

I struggle to rid myself of the blanket pressing down on my body, and I kick weakly until it flops half-heartedly to the floor. I wriggle off the sofa and look at the dying embers of the fire as I muster the energy to get up. My legs obey easily and my head gets only a minor dizziness as I walk to the stairs. I clutch the banister white-knuckled and examine the obvious Capitol pieces adorning the walls in between the family photos.

I run a large bath in my own ensuite and add some of the strange concoctions on the side. Bubble bath and salts and all sorts. When I slide in a few minutes later an infusion of senses barrage me. Lemon and lavender and oranges. I wash myself leisurely, scrubbing all the dirtiness out of my dry hair until I finally feel refreshed. Then I sit on the edge of the tub and dry myself just as slow, examining the other contents of the various cupboards dotted around the stylish room. I find a large bottle with a pump and squeeze it curiously. A squirt of something flashes out and hits my eyes. Coughing, eyes streaming I reel backwards. The scent clings to me afterwards and I smell like… I sniff. I don't know what it is, but it smells lovely. Huddling a soft towel around my body I dart back into my room.

Someone has sorted my clothes out into their assigned places and I slip into a pair of faded jeans and a red woollen jumper, squeezing my sock-clothed feet into trainers that nip my feet. I pull my hair up into a sleek ponytail and stare at my reflection. My black eyes are worse then ever and my nose is now a shiny pink. As an afterthought I stuff tissues in my pockets and go downstairs.

"I'm off to see Ailey and the other Victors." I inform my brothers when I can't find my Dad. Ethan barely nods, engrossed in his card game with Hubert.

"Bye then." I wait a few seconds and get no response so sigh and go out of the house and across the Victor's Village. Ailey had shown me her house yesterday after I'd arrived so I made my way to the house identical to mine on the outside. I press the doorbell and after a few seconds my mentor answers.

"So you're on your feet then." She notes as she waves me in. "Your Father was quite worried."

"Just a cold." I sniff and follow her into her living room. Unlike mine, hers is prim and proper. Three armchairs are occupied.

"Carumati, this is Bello, Blaise, and Fenris." She introduces the other Victors one by one. I smile shyly.

"Hi."

They are familiar faces to my TV.

Blaise Heimrich is quite popular in the Capitol and very popular in 5. He's like a younger version of Finnick I suppose, but he seems to enjoy his work. He has no family and I shudder when I think of what had happened to them. Blaise won the Games when he was thirteen seven years ago. His black hair flops into his face as he looks at me.

"Hi." He holds out his hand and I shake it nervously. His handshake is strong, confident. His smile is wicked. "I'm Blaise Heimrich."

"I know." I blurt. "I'm Carumati Poder."

"I know." He says smoothly and shuffles a pack of cards in between his hands. He's good at magic tricks, I recall. He won by effortlessly poisoning food and then exchanging it with the other tributes. The unsuspecting ate the food and dropped dead in minutes while he did nothing. He's lazy, like a big cat laid in the sun. Careless, unconcerned but always watching keenly for anything that might pass him by.

The only time he did physical exertion in his Games was when he dug a pit and led the Careers right into it. He watched them starving to death and killed them when they got too close to climbing out. It was sort of scary, how he just watched them casually like they meant nothing. I wonder if he has nightmares like I do of Clove-

"This is Bello Kendrick." Ailey introduces the next victor. Bello is grey, with hard eyes. He takes a huge gulp of wine and grabs my hand.

"Want some girly?" He swills the glass in front of me.

"No thanks." I mutter.

"Your loss." He cackles drunkenly and Ailey shoots him a dirty look.

"He has problems."

"We all do." Blaise shrugs and lights a cigarette, I think you call them. I wrinkle my nose at the smoke and he just laughs.

"This is Faris." Ailey shows me to the last living Victor who is staring vacantly at the wall. Faris Magnus is 75, the oldest Victor in 5 and one of the oldest still alive in the whole of Panem.

Ailey nudges his knee softly and he jerks awake, spittle drooling down the side of his mouth as he smiles.

"Ailey." He says, voice trembling. "Hello child."

"Hello." I bob nervously. "I'm Carumati."

He laughs weakly and nods. "Yes…"

"Do you want another blanket?" Ailey asks and he nods wordlessly, resuming his staring at the wall.

I look around at the Victors. Faris staring at nothing, Bello drinking heartily, Blaise puffing on a cigarette and making circles of smoke fall from his lips like an expert.

"It's a lot to take in." Ailey murmurs as she tucks a blanket around Faris. "But you get used to it. We're always here for help."

"Yes."

"We understand what it's like. Winning the Games."

I nod stiffly. "I don't want to think about it."

"One day you won't be able to stop." She warns. "It's all you'll be able to think about…" Her voice trails off and I stare at my trainers. My mentor is so comforting, I'm already haunted by Clove's death.

"Hey Matti." Blaise beckons me over, cigarette hanging from the corner of his mouth. "Wanna see a trick?"

"Okay." I cautiously sit next to him and without knowing automatically integrate myself into the mismatched family.

* * *

><p>After spending an hour with Blaise doing trick after trick, and Bello drunkenly shouting, and Faris shouting random words of horror when he awakens from a flashback I have a headache and am wishing I didn't come. Ailey is nice, and Blaise is… fun I suppose but being surrounded by fellow Victors just makes me feel worse. It brings the feelings back that I don't fit in with my own family anymore, and am automatically expected to enter this bizarre group.<p>

"I should go home." I excuse myself quietly and Blaise doesn't even look up from his cards.

"Bye."

He starts playing poker with Bello as I bid farewell to Ailey and leave.

I get home and look into the living room. My brothers are laughing and arguing about a girl they met in the street and when I check on Dad he's staring at a picture of Mom.

My chest aches and I quietly close the door.

I suppose Ailey did give me some useful information when I was over there, as I head towards the phone and punch in a number without hesitation. It rings for so long I'm tempted to hang up.

"Hello?" A wary voice drifts to my ear, so clear it's as if she is stood next to me.

"Hello Katniss." I smile automatically.

* * *

><p><strong>So really it's just a filler, as is the next one, but the ones after that are gonna be good :)<strong>

** xXx**


	13. Friends

**__****_Previously..._**

_I suppose Ailey did give me some useful information when I was over there, as I head towards the phone and punch in a number without hesitation. It rings for so long I'm tempted to hang up._

_"Hello?" A wary voice drifts to my ear, so clear it's as if she is stood next to me._

_"Hello Katniss." I smile automatically._

* * *

><p><span>Friends<span>

"Caru is that you?" She says confused.

"Yeah. Ailey gave me your phone number."

"Oh. I should have known… not many people in District 12 have phones. Really it could have only have been Peeta or Cinna." I can almost see her shrugging and smile.

"Or me." I tease gently before an awkward silence presses on us. "So." I clear my throat. "How are you? How is Peeta's leg?"

"I'm… good." She says cautiously. "Peeta's getting used to his leg."

"That's good."

"What about you?" She asks and I play with the phone cord, twisting and twirling it around my fingers.

"I've got a cold." I state and she makes a funny huffing sound I've come to realize she does when she can't tell I'm saying the truth or not. I smile softly.

"I met my other Victors."

"They're nice?" Katniss says doubtfully and my mind flits to Haymitch, the drunken sole victor of 12.

"They're okay. Bello is… well like Haymitch. Faris is old. Ailey's fine, she was my mentor, and Blaise is… well he likes magic tricks."

"I would imagine you and a magician would get along quite well given the fact you can magically appear out of thin air." Katniss says dryly and I feel a smile twitch in the corner of my lips.

"That's going to be your talent isn't it? When the Capitol reporters come?"

"Yes. I've been dancing for years," I nod automatically.

"Prim want's to learn how to dance like you."

"Tell her I'll teach her when I see her."

"Okay." She agrees. "At least you have a talent."

"Your bow and arrow is your talent Katniss."

"Effie's already sent me a whole list of things like playing the flute and arranging flowers." Katniss complains and I laugh.

"You could always shoot her wig off." I say seriously. "Then she'd realize your gift."

Katniss makes a weird noise; like she's trying not to laugh.

"Are you okay?" I frown.

"Yes." She swallows. "It's just strange to laugh so easily after… everything."

"Mmm. But it keeps our minds off other things." I reply and try to stop thinking of Clove's blood pouring from her, and-

"Are your brothers happy you're back?"

I don't know how she knows but I soon find myself spilling everything out to her.

She's silent for a long while after and I pull at a strand of my hair.

"If your brothers love you like Prim loves me, and you love them like I love Prim… then don't worry about it. They just need to adjust."

"Yeah."

We talk for a while about meaningless things.

"You should come and visit Twelve. Gale had a few things to say about my foxfaced ally from 5."

"Who's Gale?"

"My- cousin, he's my best friend."

"What did he say?" I ask curiously and Katniss lets out a little laugh.

"Gale's very… opinionated. He appreciates you saving my life though."

"Oh. That's good then."

"I have to go now." Katniss says guiltily. "I'll call you next time okay?"

"Sure. Bye Katniss… it was nice talking to you."

"Yeah." She covers a yawn.

"Katniss?"

"Yes?"

"How do you stop the nightmares?"

"I don't." She says bitterly. "Do you?"

"No. I don't think I ever will." I say truthfully.

She sighs before cutting off abruptly. I stare at the phone for a long moment before putting it back in it's cradle.

* * *

><p>"Have a sleeping pill." Jarrett hands one to me and I stare at the small tablet in his palm.<p>

"Have you taken any at all since you won?" He studies the thick bruises rimming my eyes and I purse my lips.

"Yes." I lie.

"Here." Dad comes in with a mug of Hot chocolate and fusses with my sheets as I lean back in bed. I fluff my pillow absently.

"Take it." My Dad stares at me and I reluctantly put the pill in my mouth.

"Now try and get some sleep love." Dad kisses my forehead and leaves, Jarrett following him.

As soon as the door closes behind them and I'm left in the dark I spit the dissolving pill from the side of my mouth into a tissue and chuck it in the bin. I scowl; a pill wasted. If Dad and Father knew about my plan surely they would realize how imperative it is that I not swallow this medication.

I flick the lamp on my beside table on and tiptoe to my book case. I select one and flick through it aimlessly, hearing my family go to bed.

An hour passed, and another.

I was so tired, but fear was the emotion that crippled me with anxiety and left me awake instead of facing my nightmares. Like the good hider I was throughout the Games I now once again refuse to fight until I have to.

I put the book on my side table and yank some boots on over my feet, grab my coat from the hook downstairs and slip out of the house as silently as a ghost.

I hurry across the Victor's village as nobody can see what lurks in the dark. I shiver and knock on their door, mouth dry as nerves make shivers skitter across my back. I look behind anxiously and jump, hand flying to my heart as the door opened.

"Bit early for a visit isn't it?" Blaise cocks an eyebrow and I shuffle awkwardly.

"I can't sleep." I murmur. "I… I need your opinion on something."

He scrutinizes me closely, his trousers hanging loose on his hips as he beckons me in. my cheeks start to feel hot and I avert my eyes. He doesn't seem to care he's walking around with no shirt on, he just settles into an arm chair and lights a cigarette from his fireplace. I stare at him dumbfounded and he waves me to sit. I perch on his sofa.

"So." The cigarette bobs from his lips as he talks. "What's up?"

I curl up on the sofa and look at him, half hidden in the shadows. The fire crackles spreading waves of heat over me and sparks of light smudged on his dark handsome face.

"If you wanted to sleep but couldn't because you were saving up for something would you do it? Even if meant nightmares?"

He watches me closely and I wrap my arms around my knees, staring at him and willing him to understand my poor message. Surely he must know our houses must be bugged, most know I am risking a lot to ask advice about my workings.

"If you were saving up to sleep heavily? For a while?" Blaise asks, a deep rumble in his throat and I nod.

"I think it would be worth it." His lips twitch into a smirk. "You have nightmares?"

"You don't?" I ask shrewdly.

He shrugs. "I never remember my dreams. I barely remember my Games. Blocking things out is a good shield." He informs me.

"You don't feel guilty about the people you killed?" I say, voice sharp and ice-cool.

Blaise chuckles slightly. "To feel guilty I'd have to care." His voice makes my skin prickle. "And I don't care about anything or anyone."

My mind flashes to his Games, the careless look on his face as he mercilessly murdered.

"You can't not care about anything." I insist. "There must be something…"

"Magic." Blaise says. "You know why? Because it's not _real._"

He reaches for a pack of cards and shuffles them. I watch intently and he swears as he drops one. I bend to pick it up and slaps a hand on my arm and squeezes.

I gasp.

"Get out."

"W-What?" I stammer surprised. "But I-"

"Get out." His eyes simmer.

"You'd get along with my brother." I reflexively snap as I get up. "Both of you love to make me feel bad about things that aren't my fault!"

"I have anger issues okay?" Blaise takes another puff of his cigarette and I cough at the smoke.

"I'm not leaving you here alone." I say determinedly, standing with my arms crossed. "You might set fire to yourself."

He chuckles darkly. "Hasn't happened yet. Now I'm asking you nicely which I rarely do. _Please _leave."

I do as he says and leaves, shutting his front door behind me and stomping across back home.

You go to the closest Victor your age for help and advice and what do they do? Laugh at you and spread toxic fumes with cigarettes.

I throw my boots off angrily and curl up in bed seething. He must feel something, everyone feels emotions even if they're bad ones. He must be lying, must feel some guilt or anger- _evidently _anger as he said he has issues. He contradicts himself too badly and thinks I won't notice.

Well clearly I do, and he's not fit to live alone in that big house. What if he set fire to it? I find myself worriedly checking out of the window before going to sleep that night.

* * *

><p>Breakfast in the Poder household is always an athletic event, a race.<p>

I'm jostled out of the way by Ethan and Alcandor as they hurry to eat as much as they can. I manage to wriggle under and in front of them to get a thin strip of bacon but Ethan's elbow connects with my ribs and I drop it reflexively as I wince in pain. The bacon gets trampled on and I shove my way past Alcandor and Hubert to go to the cupboard. I pour some cereal into a bowl and add milk, watching my brothers stuff food in their mouth with enough gusto to make me feel nauseous.

As soon as he's done Ethan jogs out of the front door without even so much as a goodbye, and Alcandor slips out of the back door a minute later. Hubert is deep in thought sat at the table and Dad looks at me sympathetically as I stand at the side with my bowl of cereal.

"I'll make extra next time and save you some."

"I'll just come down earlier." I smile slyly and Jarrett comes down the hall.

"You have a visitor." He tells me suspiciously.

"Okay…" I put my bowl on the side and go to the front door.

Blaise is stood there, one hand shoved in his pocket while the other plays with an unlit cigarette.

"Hi."

"Hello." I say cautiously.

"I'm sorry." He spits it out like he's never apologized before, and shuffles awkwardly.

"It's okay." I say slowly. "Do you want to come in?"

"I want to go on a walk, are you coming?"

"Okay." I slip some shoes and a jacket on and shout goodbye to my family before following him out of Victor's Village.

"Where are we going?"

He shrugs, smirking at the people staring at us.

"Anywhere."

I find that being with Blaise is a comforting experience around 5. People leave two Victors alone, and both I and Blaise being not big talkers I find myself relaxing more and more.

"What do you think of my plan?" I ask, putting a card down. I'd whispered the full details to him a while before to a thoughtful companion.

"It's risky but clever. Foxy." He smirks broadly and I glower at him.

"That's going to be my nickname for the rest of my life."

"Calm down Foxface." He snickers slightly before stopping and gathering my cards he'd won.

I sneeze and he whips out a handkerchief. I look at it wide-eyed.

"What?"

"Why do you have a handkerchief?"

"To eat. Why do you think I have one?" He shakes his head as I wipe my nose.

"Keep it." He says and I tuck it into my pocket.

I don't tell him, but I think Blaise is a lot nicer then he lets on. Sure he gets angry about things but apart from that he's just like I remember him in his Games; lazy, careless, a bit mischievous and cheating.

He wants to see me dancing so I take him to the studio and he watches me dancing for a while.

"That's some talent." He compliments absently when I finish panting for breath.

"Magic huh?" I say breathlessly and his lips quirk slightly.

"Well I'm going to go now." He stretches and walks out.

"Wait!" I call and go after him but he's disappeared, vanished into thin air.

I shake my head and hearing the clock that means dinner time decide to head to school. I don't have to go now, but I can see Aubrey.

The track to school takes about fifteen minutes and when I get there people are already swarming. When they see me conversations are stifled and I debate whether this was a good idea until I hear Aubrey screaming my name. She waves me over to a table and I sit down.

"You came!" Her eyes sparkle gleefully and I crack a small smile.

"Yeah."

"Hey guys" Jay came up a minute later and bumped fists with Kyle.

Aubrey shot him a filthy look.

"Hi" I say tentatively.

"How are you Caru?" He asks.

I shrug. "Fine I guess."

He stares at me. "You look tired."

"Just a few nightmares" I look at Aubrey. "Have you decided on a date for the Wedding?"

"No," She smiles slyly at Kyle. "Maybe I just want to keep him waiting forever."

Her giggles are muffled as he musses up her hair. She ends up snuggled up into his side and I smile at their obvious love for each other.

"You spoken to Katniss and Peeta lately?" Kyle asked.

"Yeah I spoke to Katniss last night."

"How are they?"

"Good." I smile. "Prim wants me to go over and teach her ballet."

"Oh you should." Aubrey encouraged me. "You're so good."

"Yeah you'll be a star." Jay grinned lopsidedly but it was tinged with awkwardness. I nod unhappily. I don't want him to be awkward around me, but now he's dating Sorrell everything feels tense and weird.

Speak of the devil…

"Sweetie! What are you doing over here?" Sorrel shoots me a dirty look.

When they start arguing I slip off the bench and start walking away.

"Caru!" Aubrey looks at me upset, worry line prominent on her forehead. Kyle murmurs something, kissing her forehead before jogging up to me.

"You be careful Kyle. She might want to use you next" Sorrel says, a spiteful parting shot and Kyle's jaw tightens. I turn around as Aubrey stands up with her hands balled into fists.

"Just ignore her." I tell her.

"Like you ignore killing someone? Pity Clove didn't cut you to pieces. Still I always knew you were a backstabber."

"No I'm pretty sure that's you." I blurt before I can stop myself.

"What does she mean?" Jay asks Sorrel who laughs wickedly.

"She means nothing." Aubrey spits. "Or do you like having all your hair?"

"Woahh Bree calm down." Kyle drags his girlfriend back as Sorrel laughs.

"Even the Victor can't stand up for herself!"

She doesn't know anything; what it's like to be in that hell-hole and then actually _escape _it. All the worry and fighting and _death._

Anger boils inside me and before I even know what I'm doing I'm punching her. Blood gushes from her nose onto my hand as she shrieks and I stare at the spotty crimson smudges.

"You psycho! You're mentally insane-"

"Get out of here!" Aubrey hisses, shoving me backwards. "You'll get in trouble!"

I just killed Clove- no, no just punched. I just punched Sorrell, just a nosebleed…

"Carumati!" Aubrey pinches my arm and I jump. "Go on! Kyle take her!"

Kyle drags me away and the blood dribbles from my hands onto the floor.

"Here I'll take you home-"

"No! No take me to- take me to Blaise's. Please." I plead and Kyle nods.

"That was a pretty good punch." He comments.

"Don't talk about it." I groan, squeezing my eyes shut for a moment. "My Dad will kill me when he finds out. Sorrel won't hold back on any detail except the ones involving her."

"True. But we all know what's she's like. She deserved it." Kyle squeezes my shoulder before leaving me on Blaise's doorstep.

Blaise swaggers to the door.

"You again?" He cocks an eyebrow and I fight to keep tears from welling over my eyes.

"Oh god don't cry." He groans as he leads me inside.

"Sorry." I swallow thickly as he wipes the blood off my hands with a cold cloth. "I think I have anger issues too." I laugh shakily and let him cheer me up with magic tricks.

* * *

><p><strong>Again not much happening in this chapter but next chapter is a time jump to Caru's birthday! :D <strong>


	14. Happy Birthday

**I fully admit this chapter is not my best but next chapter will just be awesome with Carumati's plan FINALLY revealed! :D The next chapter will be up in a few days, I've wrote half of it already, so sorry for the long update I've had GCSE's and writer's block and so... yeah. Sorry! **

* * *

><p><em><strong>Previously...<strong>_

_"That was a pretty good punch." He comments._

_"Don't talk about it." I groan, squeezing my eyes shut for a moment. "My Dad will kill me when he finds out. Sorrel won't hold back on any detail except the ones involving her."_

_"True. But we all know what's she's like. She deserved it." Kyle squeezes my shoulder before leaving me on Blaise's doorstep._

_Blaise swaggers to the door._

_"You again?" He cocks an eyebrow and I fight to keep tears from welling over my eyes._

_"Oh god don't cry." He groans as he leads me inside._

_"Sorry." I swallow thickly as he wipes the blood off my hands with a cold cloth. "I think I have anger issues too." I laugh shakily and let him cheer me up with magic tricks._

* * *

><p><span>Happy Birthday <span>

Raindrops slide down the pristine windows of the dance studio, muted sunlight trying to shine through dismal clouds. I stop dancing gracefully, peering out of the window with a sigh.

I've been home precisely 94 days. It has rained 86 days out of these 94.

It does not help that today is my sixteenth birthday, the day I have been dreading for weeks.

I sneak out of the dance studio a few minutes later having picked the lock to get in as usual. Mrs Sparks never mentions anything so I doubt she notices or cares. She knows I'd never vandalise.

My feet ache as I walk through the dank streets. District 5 is never quite able to get rid of the damp smell that hangs in the air, the mist on street corners and the gloomy dark atmosphere. It hangs down on you like the clouds of smoke, the acrid smell of fried lines and wires from the power plants. I twist through the rows of houses, pause momentarily in front of Jay's by habit before shaking my head and moving on. I and Jay rarely talk now and I can feel the cord of our friendship slowly unravelling until it will snap. I know it is inevitable but I cannot stop waiting for his fleeting smiles and kind although biased words. He did not take myself punching his girlfriend too lightly.

I have received no formal word from the President about my upcoming business in the Capitol and I know the spark of hope in me will hurt when predictably diminished.

I find myself wishing to talk to Katniss or Peeta; hear their thoughts. Katniss's steel grey eyes and Peeta's reassuring smile.

A few early power plant workers rush past me, voices muttering harshly under their coat lapels. Paranoia skitters down my spine and I try not to think they could be disguising a knife if their pocket, ready to leap on me as soon as my back turns. I try to appear indifferent to their words and imagine them merely as another jab by my brothers over the years when they thought I wasn't in the vicinity, but the talk still makes self-consciousness and guilt cripple me once again, a hollowness deep in my chest.

I am a murderer.

Little children are scared of me now for reasons they can't understand, their parents shifting uneasily as I walk past.

Everyone treats me differently now, my brothers paying attention and my neighbours idly gossiping.

I wonder, as I turn down a gravel path lined by broken fences with barbed wire hanging down and almost brushing against my ankles, if Katniss and Peeta have had the same lukewarm, unsure reaction in 12.

Fatigue makes my body tired and I scrub at my itching eyes as I come off the path into a small neighbourhood with a path listing at one side to the Victor's village. I can see the train station in the distance and wish for one quick fierce moment that I could just run away from 5, run away from all my problems.

But it's real life and not fantasy and I enter the Victor's village melancholic.

Ailey is pretty sure Faris is dying and Bello is steaming drunk most of the time. Blaise continues with his magic tricks and his cigarette smoking but refuses to speak of anything personal and snaps if I do anything not correctly or in his favour.

I walk up the garden path and open the door quietly, not wanting to wake any of the sleeping inhabitants inside of which there must be a few. All but Hubert and my Father rise after ten.

I check the clock as I fling my bag down in the hall.

Just turned eight, have I really been dancing for three hours?

I wearily start to climb the stairs to welcome another day but am stopped by a whispered 'Caru' from the kitchen.

I walk in and find my Dad sat at the table.

"Happy birthday darling." He hugs me. "Do you want some breakfast?"

"Sure."

My brothers aren't up and I'll take anything I can get.

"But first, how about we go for a walk?"

My curiosity arised I slowly follow my Father as he walks confidently out of the house.

I deduct as we walk through the District that we must be going to a shop for something. Maybe a special breakfast? We were in the town area and as I thought this Dad turned right and rapped on the front door of the fruit and vegetable shop.

I frown.

"You got me fruit and vegetables for my birthday?" I tease slightly. "Thanks Dad."

He just shakes his head with a chuckle before Mr Ludos answers.

"Arthur."

"Bernard." They shake hands.

"Carumati." He nods in my direction.

"Hi Mr Ludos." I murmur.

"Claire!" He hollers. "Adam!"

His offspring and my classmates thunder downstairs as Mr Ludos leads us through the shop to their back garden.

It still hasn't clicked until Adam goes to the small house and opens the rusty lock, tilting his head for me to look in.

I walk forward.

"They won't bite." He grins. "Just a little nip."

"I'm not scared."

"Nah you killed-"

He presses his lips together at my expression and I drift past him to look in the dilapidating shed. It's dark and shadowy and smells of something feral. I can hear tiny whimpers though and the thud of something on the wooden floors.

Claire flicks on a light switch and a small bulb flickers to life spreading a orange glow around the small structure.

I look down at the dog in surprise, the fat puppies scrambling over one another to greet me.

"Oh." I breathe, crouching down. The dog's tail whacks the floor again and she nuzzles my hand. I pet her gently, examining the puppies.

Four in total, ranging in colours. All a different shade of brown. Ruffled matted coats, small pink tongues licking my fingers as I play with them.

"Three girls, one boy." Claire informs me quietly, staring fondly down at them from my side. "You can take your pick."

I look up at her surprised.

"It's your Birthday present." Claire smiles impishly. "I wasn't allowed to tell you."

"Oh." I say slowly and don't mention she hasn't seen me since I got back, not in private. Sure there was the Victor meal in the square which had been mortifying and then Parcel days but nothing like a simple hello.

"Thanks." I smile slightly and she shrugs.

"It's fine. Sorry about my brother."

"He's true." I laugh softly, and the puppies whine. I toy with them for a while, cooing and stroking until my Father and Mr Ludos come in.

"Have you decided?" Dad asks.

"I think." After a moment's hesitation I scoop up the tiniest one, the one that danced and frisked around my feet playfully.

"What are you going to call her?" Claire asks eagerly as I cuddle her in my arms. She squeaks and examines my arms, scratching.

I ignore the slight throbbing as we exit the shed back into their back garden.

"I'm not sure." I shrug.

"Well tell me when you decide." She smiles kindly.

"Yeah." I promise half-heartedly as the puppy looks at me with bright yellow eyes, ears pricked up. I smooth it's messy coat.

"We need to do the rounds now Caru." Dad says. "We need to buy some meat for the girl." He scratches the puppies head who licks him.

"Thank you." I say again as we leave, and to my Dad as we walk back through the District.

"I thought maybe she'd help you with the nightmares."

I cringe and feel my cheeks heat up. Clearly my attempts to scream quietly were unsuccessful.

"Mom always wanted a dog." I whisper and crush the puppy closer to me. It yelps slightly.

Dad puts an arm around me. "Well now we have one."

I watch the puppy scamper around the kitchen a few hours later, tail wagging ecstatically.

"Storm." I whisper and she wheels around to look at me.

I click my fingers and she dances up. I pick her up and lay her in my lap where she licks my hand gratefully.

I have rarely had birthday presents. A new shirt or some sweets was the most we could afford with a family so large and only Dad working. Of course things are different now with Jarrett and Ethan working and I winning the Hunger Games but this… an animal of my own to care and look after and _protect _me.

I feel a familiar wheeze in my tight chest and shut my eyes.

Not again.

For the last few weeks the nightmares have escalated into panic attacks. Hateful things that make my chest burn and my eyes stream with tears as my mind roves over and over my impending Capitol duties or killing Clove.

Creeping up unexpectedly in awkward moments. In the bathtub, in front a neurotic Aubrey, in the middle of a cards game with Blaise. I flush at the memory; chucking the cards across at him as I clutch at my throat, choking for breath and reassurance I'm alive and not dying.

That I'm safe now back home.

Alcandor saunters into the room, hair rumpled. Clearly he's just gotten up.

He looks at the puppy.

"Huh." He narrows his eyes. "Mom always wanted a dog."

"I know."

I wish so much she was here, could see me now all grown up and not the loveable child. Help me when I'm confused and comfort me when I'm scared. Stroke my hair like she used to and kiss me goodnight and not leave me isolated with a house of men. But no, she's buried under the ground and has been for years and is probably just _dust- _

No blood left in her just like when I killed Clove, and it ran on my hands-

I splutter and choke on air and Alcandor frowns.

"What are you doing?" He asks as I claw at my throat desperately, tears building up in my eyes.

"I can't breathe-" I gasp. "I can't-"

"You can breathe." Alcandor tells me patronizingly. "Otherwise you wouldn't be able to say you can't breathe."

And somehow his angry dismissal helps me.

He huffs out a sigh and I try to mimic it, relief flooding over me when a gust of oxygen floods my lungs and my head becomes clearer.

Storm slips from my knee and scampers across to Alcandor, tugging at his shoe laces. He sends her a mean glower but Storm doesn't care.

"You're wanted in the living room by the way." He comments, sauntering over to the kettle.

My brothers probably want to see Storm, and I bundle the puppy in my arms as I walk into the living room.

"Happy Birthday!" My brothers yell at me and I flinch, staring dumbstruck at all the decorations.

"We figured since we had enough money now we could have a proper party for you." My Dad says and leads me to a cake. A chocolate one.

My mouth waters as I scrub at my eyes tiredly, looking around at the bright streamers hanging from the ceiling.

"When did you do this?" I mumble.

"When you took the puppy for a walk a few minutes ago." Jarrett grins. "Have some cake." I put Storm on the carpet where she runs around wildly.

"We invited your friends over as well; and Ailey and Blaise."

Aubrey and Kyle wave from the corner and Aubrey's eyes are wide as she looks at Blaise then to me. I roll my eyes and give her a pointed look before my gaze flits to the brightly decorated presents. Curly ribbons and everything, and I feel a stab of melancholy. Never before have I had such expensive gifts but I suppose I shall have to get used to it if I am to work in the Capitol. _If. _I have received no notification yet.

"Open them!" Ethan urges, like a child dragging me towards them.

"Um- okay." I pick up the nearest one covered in painted newspaper. I rip it open slowly, untangling the ribbon to reveal a pack of playing cards.

I smile and look up at Blaise.

"Now you don't have to steal mine."

"Thank you."

He shrugs, hands thrust in his pocket as his gaze wanders around the room. My brothers look at the cards, then Blaise, then me.

I give them a hard look as Alcandor walks in. "Where are your presents?"

"Cheeky." Ethan grins and Jarrett passes me the second present on the table.

"Everyone chipped in to buy them." Hubert says seriously.

I rip the paper and see some new ballet shoes.

"Oooh." I sigh, stroking the pale pink ribbons lovingly. They're not tattered and worn out like the ones I'm currently wearing.

"We were going to buy you a new leotard too but-" Alcandor shuts up when Jarrett elbows him in the gut.

I ignore what was obviously going to be an insult and look at the other four presents.

There's a small black box and I open it curiously.

My breath is taken away when I see the small bracelet.

"It was your Mom's." Dad says huskily and I look at the little silver charms as tears well in my eyes.

"Thanks Dad." I say and hug him tightly.

He strokes my back soothingly and puts it around my wrist. It nearly falls off as my wrist is so skinny and my Dad frowns.

"Here open mine!" Aubrey shoves a small hastily wrapped present in my arm. I grin at her widely.

"You get me the same present every year Bree."

"And you love them." She laughs as I look at the scruffy handmade bracelet.

"Tie it on?" I propose and she nods, tying it firmly to the opposite wrist then the charm bracelet.

"Look." She wriggles her arm to show me her matching bracelet.

"Cute."

She laughs and hugs me. "Happy Birthday Caru!"

Kyle bought me some sweets from the sweet shop, Ailey another jumper like the one she got me for the

Games. A lilac colour this time though, and it smells of a relaxing lavender.

I laugh when I open one of the remaining boxes and see a beautifully decorated cake with creamy white icing and orange letters saying 'Foxface' with a picture of a fox.

"Who's that from?" Ethan asks nosily.

"Peeta." I reply with a smile. "And I bet it tastes delicious."

Katniss sends me a card obviously made by her sister Primrose, and a batch of cookies also obviously made by Peeta. She probably didn't know what to send. I take a bite of one as I look at the last present.

"Saving the best till last." Aubrey says and I laugh nervously. Ailey and Blaise look at me, both knowing.

When I open the last box a slip of a white dress runs out of my hands. White silk and lace and sequins that catch the light and glitter alluringly.

The fun atmosphere drains from me quickly, the biscuit turning sour in my mouth.

There's only one person I know who would send me something like this and it's not a gift, more like a… uniform. I feel bile rise my throat.

"It's beautiful." My Dad smiles. "There's a letter too."

He passes it to me and I open it numbly.

_Miss Poder,_

_May I congratulate you on reaching your sixteenth birthday. As we previously mentioned in our little chat, now you have matured your admirers in the Capitol are eager to see you in the flesh and let you entertain them. Do not hesitate to get more lessons from Mr Odair if you see fit, but I expect you to be on top form or suffer those terrible consequences we discussed. Disclosed with this letter is your present- a train ticket to the Capitol scheduled for this evening. I expect you to be on time and upon arrival you will receive your first address. _

_Yours sincerely,_

_President Snow_

"Who's that from?" Ethan smirks.

"Secret admirer." I say distantly, the sharp scent of roses stinging my nose and making my eyes water.

"Why don't I show you some card tricks?" Blaise suddenly grabs my hands and pulls me out of the room.

I splutter at him.

"Are you sure you want to go through with that?" He asks, dark eyes staring levelly into mine.

I nod, jaw locked. "Yes."

"And the consequences?" He arches an eyebrow.

"It will work."

"And if it doesn't?"

"Why do you care?"

His face turns angry. "Why do you think?" He hisses. "Obviously you're not smart at all if you can't figure out why."

And with that he stalks out of the house, passing Jay on the doorstep and glaring at him coldly.

"Uh-"

"Sorry about that." I apologize and Jay grins.

"It's fine. Happy Birthday." He holds out a present and I look at him excitedly as I take it from him.

"Jay you got me something!" I blurt the words before I can stop them. Jay just chuckles though, runs a hand through his hair.

"Yeah. Sorrell says she wishes she could have come."

I suppress a snort; I rather suspect she said something far worse with lots of curse words. I step aside to invite Jay in anyway. He looks better then ever, eyes shining and lips curled into a cute grin.

"Well open it." He looks down at the present and I peel the wrappers back.

It's a picture of us in a picture frame. When we were kids, skinny and freckled. Smiling without a care in the world. A lump forms in my throat.

"Thanks Jay." I whisper, staring up at him. His eyes are warm and soft, glowing.

"No problem." He murmurs.

"I…" My voice fails me and a blush rises on my cheeks.

"I just thought since we've been close for so long you'd like it." He breathes and I nod. He steps closer and tingles run through my body.

"Jay-" I start but he leans forward anyway.

And I realize in that split second what he's doing and what I'm doing and step back hastily.

"Jay you're dating Sorrel." I'm glad my voice doesn't tremble as I rub my forehead. "I… I don't want us to be like this. You're just trying to-" I tail off, staring at the picture. "You can't just exploit my feelings because Sorrel treats you like crap. You started going out with her because you thought I was dead and since I've come back I've felt like I am. Our relationship - friendship… it's not the same anymore. I don't know if I can be around someone who I like that only uses me to make him feel better."

"Caru." Jay says. "Caru you're being silly. Of course I thought you were dead when you teamed up with Katniss. But you survived and we can still be friends. Sorrel is just…Sorrel."

"We've both changed Jay." I blink back tears. "You think sending me a picture of old times is going to make us go back to that place but it can't. I- I'm a murderer Jay and you…" I twist my mouth ironically. "To you I'm just a ghost now. I'm not really here, because the part of you that really cared about me died as soon as my name got pulled out of that bowl. It got murdered along with everything else in that hell. So please don't kiss me. After all you didn't want me did you? You evidently wanted Sorrel."

He sighs. "I understand. Happy Birthday."

A stab of guilt runs through me as he turns and leaves, but relief as well.

I don't want him to distract me with his feelings when he was with Sorrel.

After everyone's gone home the rest of the day is spent relaxing with Storm. We eat Peeta's cake that was so gorgeous I had three slices and felt ill for hours afterwards. I went upstairs to bed with my family's intentions thinking I was having an early night after an exciting day.

Instead I wait for them one by one go to bed and after I hear snores throughout the house sneak back downstairs.

I write a hastily scribbled note explaining where I've gone and bundle the dress into a bag before walking to the train station with a heavy heart.


	15. Duties

**SO SORRY for the lateness and measly length of this chapter. I'd wrote it all out and then my computer completely crashed! SO. ANNOYED. So I had to type it out again. Hopefully you'll forgive me when you see what Caru's plan is. **

**Also, I don't know when the next chapter will be as I'm part of this really awesome story called Bring Them To Their knees where 24 authors create 24 tributes for a Hunger Games. My tribute is the District 1 female Admire Blanchard if you want to check it out! :)**

* * *

><p><em><strong>Previously...<strong>_

_ I went upstairs to bed with my family's intentions thinking I was having an early night after an exciting day._

_Instead I wait for them one by one go to bed and after I hear snores throughout the house sneak back downstairs._

_I write a hastily scribbled note explaining where I've gone and bundle the dress into a bag before walking to the train station with a heavy heart._

* * *

><p><span>Duties<span>

I arrive in the Capitol in the early hours of the morning and watch the sun rise over the metallic skyscrapers.

I am deposited at the train station and then look around lost. All the Capitol citizens smile at me brightly, teeth blinding as they hasten to kiss my cheeks leaving blue lipstick smeared on my face.

My head aches from another night of tiredness, the sleeping pills rattling in the bottle situated in my small accompanying bag.

"Miss Poder." A deep voice drifts to my ears and I turn to see a Peacekeeper walking in my direction.

"Hello." I swallow thickly.

"The President wishes to see you now."

"I'm wearing his dress what more does he want?" I mutter under my breath and he pins me with a steely look before shoving me forward. The journey to the President's mansion is tense but quick due to the fast car I am taken in. it's engine purrs to a stop and we get out.

The Peacekeeper doesn't even check to see if I'm following him; but maybe he suspects nobody that clever would try to run.

He's right.

The silver dress swishes against my knees as I ascend the marble staircases, eyes swivelling around.

White roses are everywhere. In vases, in paintings of President Coriolanus Snow himself, pinned to the Avox servants that hurry around with terror-filled eyes.

A wave of pity floods me as the Peacekeeper leads me to a room where a small sofa lays next to a side table with of course more white roses.

"Sit here. I'll inform the President of your arrival."

I nod and he eyes me suspiciously. "Don't touch anything."

I nod again obediently and clasp my hands together in my lap demurely, gaze travelling around the rich furnished room. I barely have time to take in my surroundings before the prompt arrival of the Peacekeeper again, who ushers me into the opposite door we entered to.

"Miss Poder." He drawls, dabbing at his puffy enflamed lips. "Let us keep this meeting short. You have a list of times and places. Names. If you do not give a satisfactory performance your family will be punished. Understand?" President Snow fixes me with an icy glare and I nod quickly, head bobbing.

His smile is more like a grimace as he motions to the Peacekeeper who passes me the file on his desk. Why he couldn't give it to me himself… I open the file and look at the pictures of the men who have bought me.

All absurd by District 5 standards, with curly yellow wigs and neon blue skin. Large glitter tattoos and fake nails ten inches long.

"You'll start off with this man here. Carlos Aurelia. One of your most generous sponsors." He points to the first photo and I nod again.

"Oh Miss Poder?" He says when I edge to the door a minute later. I turn back anxiously. "You look lovely in that dress."

"Thank you." I mumble before shutting the door and shuddering with disgust.

I have some time to kill before I'm expected at his house, so I wander around the streets of the Capitol and awkwardly try to avoid the screaming people who want photos and autographs and more. I try not to think about the pressure in my lungs that threatens to choke me with anxiety that someone could come up right now-

"Carumati?" I whirl around at someone saying my name, paranoia itching my body as my hand flies to my thudding heart.

I don't recognize the woman and stare at her fearfully, stumbling back slightly.

"I'm Rivera Vandeviere. You met me at the Victors party remember?" She probes softly and shifts her arm to show me the spiralling rose tattoo. Her chestnut hair is streaked with neon pink and her nails are a flurry of scarlet and lime.

"Oh." I huff in relief. "I- sorry."

"It's fine." She waves off my panic and I take a deep gasp of air, shifting uncomfortably. I'm fine. I can breathe. "What are you doing here?"

"On a visit." My mouth twists sarcastically. I can breathe. "You haven't seen Finnick Odair have you?"

"No." She frowned. "Although he's not really my type so what do I know? That's pretty." She motions to my charm bracelet I'm fiddling with.

"Yeah." I murmur, staring at the charms and feeling my eyes well with tears. I blink rapidly as the image of my Mother dissolves. I can breathe. My throat becomes clear but my mouth is bone dry. "Um… I should go-"

"Do you want to get a drink? I can show you where to go next time you come here." She smiles. "I need someone to help me eat a doughnut anyway, they're too big for one to eat on their own."

I debate slightly and decide perhaps I should see what a doughnut is.

A doughnut, it turns out, is a round blob of fried dough slathered with icing. It's okay but a bit sickly, and I pick at it nervously as Rivera chatters about the price of food and the best places to shop.

"You should definitely go to Tigris, she's absolutely amazing although people do consider her to be tacky you know, too _over-done._" She whispers loudly and I nod although I have no clue who Tigris is. It's nice to have the company though, and we walk through the Capitol with her as my tour guide. She tries to buy me things and I adamantly refuse.

"But look dear, it goes perfect with your-"

"No, no thank you. I'm fine." I smile and think that perhaps Rivera is just lonely. From what she tells me her husband is rarely around and after her daughter died she just threw herself into her work. I buy a few candles and make-up while she tells me about her life and inevitably goes onto mine.

"So when are you going back to District 5?" She asks curiously. "What is it like there?"

I spend a while explaining to her about how it's so different to the Capitol and when I realize the time I gasp, my already breathless chest tightening.

"I'm so sorry I have to go or I'll be late!"

"Late for what?" She calls after me but I merely wave and hurry away, shoving past people as I try to keep my breathing even. I killed Clove but nobody is trying to kill me. Not anymore. All in the past, think the future. Think of the plan.

I pinch the skin of my forearm to concentrate.

The car outside the train station is already waiting and I hop into it, rummaging through my bags to apply the make-up I'd bought with shaky hands damp with anxiety.

"This is the place." The driver squeaks and I thank him before climbing out, wobbling slightly in the heels. The house is big and expensive and I walk up the path warily, straightening out my dress compulsively. I put a shaky hand on the buzzer and jump when it crackles with a voice.

"Miss Poder?"

"Yes." I gasp surprised, heart beating a mile a minute. I sink my fingernails into my palm to compose myself.

I'm fine, a bit of anxiety is normal for someone after the Hunger Games. I'm not mad or crazy or- or anything.

I need to shed all of that now and be… well what Carlos Aurelia expects.

I smile as he opens the door, lips curling into a painted doll face. Flawless and polished to perfection. Unreal.

"Hi" I murmur and he smiles.

"Come in." He gestures wildly to the house. "Make yourself at home."

I look around in awe at the neon furniture, huge TV and shiny ornaments. I trail my hand along the leather sofa as he uses a remote to turn off the crackling fire. How could he do that? Extinguish a fire by pressing a button? I look at it enthralled and am jolted back into reality when his arms suddenly creep around my waist. I stiffen in his arms reflexively.

"I paid a lot of money to sponsor you." He whispers in my ear and my mind is _racing- _"I know you like having money spent on you."

"Yes." I choke out. "Why don't you go get ready." I breathe in his ear. "And I'll get us some drinks?"

He grins widely. "Can't wait." His yellow lips dip to my neck and I shiver at the touch.

I gently fend him off.

"Not yet." I tease, bouncing back on my toes before twirling into the kitchen I can catch a glimpse off. He hurries up the stairs and I gasp, clutching the spotless counter until my knuckles turn white, swirling head held down to stop the dizziness. My heart pounds in synch with my head and a sheen of nervous sweat coats my body.

I root around the numerous cupboards for two wine glasses and pour white wine into them. I swirl it around and nod satisfied. At least he'll think I was spending all the time looking for his room which isn't exactly a lie.

I peer nosily in the rooms as I pass, knees knocking and the glasses in my sweaty palms clinking together as I trek along the golden carpeted hallway.

There's one closed door and I open it slowly to see a room almost dark.

"I was thinking that because I paid the most money for you you'll do some other things won't you?" He gestures towards a box and I stare at him, almost naked on the bed.

My jaw drops but I hide my terror, instead handing him the wine glass. He takes a sip and licks his lips.

"Mmm."

"Do you like it?" I smile and he nods, lunges forward. I grapple with him for a moment.

"Let me set the mood more." I insist and take out lavender candles I'd purchased earlier. I light them and the heady scent washes over me, making me relax. He leans backwards with his head propped up with his arms and watches me. A few minutes pass and I stare up at the clock while still trying to hold out as long as possible. He eventually insists I come and actually do what I was meant to do so I slowly sidle forward and take off my heels.

I unclasp my hair from the grip and it falls down my back in large curls. He blinks dizzily, eyes unfocused slightly as his hands slide down my back roughly. His lips are hot and disgusting on the side of my neck and I cringe slightly. His hands fumble for a moment before he squints at me, blinking rapidly. His hands fall back onto the bed languidly and I turn around to take a sip of my wine.

When I look back he is laid backwards knocked out, snoring softly with drool dripping onto the satin pillows.

I suppose that's what sleeping pills do to you.


	16. Friends and Enemies

**I am SO sorry for such the long wait, but I've regained my love of this story and know where it's headed after this :) Thank you for all the reviews about taking my time, it really helped me not rush this chapter and make it really bad. Hope this was worth the wait! xXx**

* * *

><p><strong><em>Previously...<em>**

_He blinks dizzily, eyes unfocused slightly as his hands slide down my back roughly. His lips are hot and disgusting on the side of my neck and I cringe slightly. His hands fumble for a moment before he squints at me, blinking rapidly. His hands fall back onto the bed languidly and I turn around to take a sip of my wine._

_When I look back he is laid backwards knocked out, snoring softly with drool dripping onto the satin pillows._

_I suppose that's what sleeping pills do to you._

* * *

><p><span>Friends and Enemies <span>

It carried on for a week.

I kissed their cheeks and left smudged lipstick on.

I undressed them and hid their clothes.

I left a note asking them to call if they want some fun.

It was Sorrel's number.

Now I stand on an icy platform on the outskirts of District 12, shivering lightly through my green jacket, mittened hands stuffed in my pockets.

Keeva scowls and curls her lip up as I take off one mitten and watch a snowflake melt on my hand.

"At least it's not raining." I say lightly and she shudders, face twisted with disgust as she huddles further down into her fur coat. I roll my eyes at my over-dramatic escort and turn to Geo who's obsessively brushing the bottom of his trousers that drape nowhere near the snow.

"Where do we go now?" I prompt. "Katniss's house?"

"Yes, yes follow _me._" Keeva shoves past me to take the lead before Geo can answer, and I trail after her staring avidly around at the ramshackle houses almost falling apart.

"I don't understand why we didn't get a car, we escorts are far more deserving than a Prep team." Keeva bitches, and Geo scowls behind her. I think for a moment he is considering shoving her head first into the mound of snow we pass.

A little boy runs ahead of us in the snow, shivering in a thin tunic and I frown, mouth bitter at the sharp contrast between this freezing boy and Keeva's complaining. I go to take off my coat but he's already disappeared.

In District 5 the air may be smoggy and thick, the buildings soot covered, the climate generally rain that soaks to the skin, but even in hard times with four other brothers I have always been able to afford clothes to keep me warm. Even if they were just old hand me downs, or a few rare pieces of clothing that belonged to my Mother, still smelling like her-

Switching train of thought is not an easy task any more. Where once I was was upset by the thought of Mom, I could easily distract myself with thoughts of my Father, brothers. Now even they are tainted with horrors that could become reality if I do not play the game well enough. President Snow is like a disease, picking and flaking away at my defenses until there is nothing left and I shall never be safe, my family will end up perished in mysterious circumstances. I shall be a shell, empty on the inside.

I shiver, my red locks shielding my view as they fly in front of my eyes. I brush them back as the snow starts to fall more rapidly, swirling around and making it hard to see.

So hard in fact, that when someone barrels into me I let out a shriek and topple backwards with a thump, heart nearly ejecting from my chest.

I gasp, the wind knocked out of me. The snow doesn't particularly soften the blow and I blink fuzzily amidst the panic to see my friend.

"Katniss." I choke.

"Sorry." She says. "I just- I need to talk to you about a lot of things."

"Is that a reason to assault me?" I say teasingly, trying valiantly to ignore my dry mouth and raspy breath, the tightness of my chest and sweatiness of my palms. I tug my mittens off anxiously.

Katniss sticks out an olive hand to help me up and I take it gratefully, wrapping my arms around her.

"I've missed you." I breathe into frozen ears through her silky hair. "I need to talk to you too." I pull back. "It hasn't snowed in District 5. Not yet anyway. It might at a later date." My shoulders pinch together slightly. "We're not very equipped for it."

Katniss squints at me before shrugging. "Well District 12 always gets snow. One year it was so bad we couldn't get out for days..." She trails off in reminiscence and I sigh slightly at her density to not understand secret messages.

It is no question in my mind that President Snow has called in on Katniss in one way or another. I suspect face to face would be most rewarding for him, for he could register the real emotion of her face, her tone of voice. He had no chance to talk to her during our short stay at the Capitol due to the pushy photographers and my meetings with Finnick.

As I constantly do these days, I get entangled and trapped in my own mind. Sometimes more dangerous then unreassuring reality, and I shake my head, trying to focus on Katniss leading us to her house, telling me about Prim and Peeta and Haymitch.

"Ailey couldn't come." I explain as we enter the Victor's village of 12. It's beautiful, dusted in a coat of snow that seems almost silver. "She's ill, so I suppose Haymitch will have to put up with me."

"You'll scare him sober." Katniss says wryly, corner of her lip tilting upwards humorously before turning the corner where a crowd of people stand. Some are pacing grumpily and Keeva gives a smug nod as if to confirm that she's not insane, snow is a treacherous enemy after all. It is, to high heels anyway.

I spy familiar blonde curls hugging and laughing with a miniature blonde. Peeta and if I'm correct this is the girl Katniss volunteered for at the Reaping. This is Primrose Everdeen.

"Peeta!" Katniss calls. "Look who's arrived!"

Peeta turns and shoots me a dazzling grin.

"Carumati!" He comes forward tentatively, his prosthetic leg getting stuck in the snow. I stride across the gap and hug him.

"How are you?" I ask, pulling back and staring avidly at his face flushed pink from the cold weather.

"I'm good." He says cheerily. "I've missed you. Did you have a good birthday?"

"I loved the cake. And the biscuits." I laugh at Katniss who bristles.

"Actually I have something else for you."

"She bought it this morning." Peeta stage whispers and Katniss scowls.

"I'll just go get it..." She strides into her house and pauses at the door. "You can come in if you want."

Her sister beams up at me, the gap in her teeth making her more adorable. Small and golden haired with periwinkle blue eyes so endearing I already feel protective over her. I can understand how Katniss teamed up with Rue now, after volunteering for her sister.

"I'm Primrose." Her eyes sparkle excitedly. "I think you're so cool!"

She bounces on the tip of her toes for a second before hugging me. "Katniss says you do ballet will you show me how?"

"Sure." I smile. "In fact I can teach you something right now if you want."

"Yes!" She bobs her head shyly. "I mean- if that's okay."

"It's fine." I grin. "Although we'll have to go inside your house because even I can't do ballet in snow."

She shoots a quick glance at all the Capitol adults gossiping and paying no attention whatsoever to us.

"Will they mind?" She asks and I shake my head.

"You can see Katniss's dresses too!" Prim says brightly as I and Peeta follow her into the house.

"Her 'special talent'." Peeta smirks, slipping slightly on the ice. I grip his forearm tightly and he smiles gratefully. I knock my boots rid of snow before stepping in.

It is similar to mine, the decoration just as ornate and Capitol-esque. Touches of District 12 still remain despite; a hunting jacket hung on a peg, boots fallen sideways in the corner. Wild flowers in a vase and I smile at the simple beauty. We have no such thing as beauty in the pollution riddled 5.

"We can go into the kitchen." Prim directs us, her sky-blue dress swishing against her skinny knees. "The living room is full of fabrics."

I peek in as we go past and have to snort at the work that is so obviously Cinna's.

"We're leaving for the station in ten minutes!" I hear Keeva's shrill voice and wince.

"You better make your dancing quick." Peeta grins, leaning against the table to watch us.

"Okay I'm going to teach you a pirouette. Put your left foot slightly in front, and your right behind... you need to make sure your front heel is on the ground and your back heel is up as far as it can go." I move her leg and she wobbles, a slight giggle falling from her lips.

"Okay now put your front arm in front of your chest rounded. Like this." I bend my arm and she mimics me. "And put your other arm like this." I stick my left arm straight out to the side.

"Straighten your back..." I murmur. "Okay now you need to bring your foot up into Posse-"

"What?"

"Put your arms closed and press up on your back heel to elevate. So this is the first position. After this you just do the same as the starting position but with both arms open and your head needs to spot around for the turn."

"Okay." Prim says doubtfully.

"Here I'll help." I grasp her ribs and count under my breath. "Okay ready?" I swivel her around as she wobbles in a shaky circle.

"I did it!" She claps her hands joyfully. "How many can you do?"

I smile, an embarrassed flush rising on my cheeks. "Ten."

"Without stopping?" Prim's eyes widen. "Show me." She begs and I smile before fluently rising up and spinning, spinning, spinning...

I come to an abrupt stop and Prim stares at me enthralled.

"I want to do that." She says wistfully.

"You just need to practice, and then the next time I see you you'll be as good as me. Better." I promise and she skips off happily.

"It's strange how District 5 is power but you still learnt ballet. We have small school functions; a few traditional dances and Madge Undersee the Mayor's daughter owns a piano but aside from that we don't really do anything with entertainment." Peeta comments.

"Yeah because most of us are starving." Katniss mutters under her breath as she comes in.

"Well District 5 used to be where all the citizens of the Capitol got their entertainment from." I shrug.

"You know professional ballet and other types of dancing, singers, acting... But then they started getting power shortages and demanded that everyone work in the factories. I just do ballet as a hobby now, but back then I could have been employed by the Capitol. It's like District 4 with all their chefs and District 7 with their carpenters and District 8 with their designers."

"While District 12 had nothing." Katniss snorts.

"My Father told me once that his Great-Uncle had been recruited to the Capitol to bake there but I always figured he was teasing." Peeta shrugs. "Maybe he was telling the truth. The Capitol do like the best of the best and my Great-Uncle was apparently legendary." He rolls his eyes.

"Why aren't you there then?" I tease.

"Because I have to go on this Victory Tour." Peeta jokes. "Speaking of we should be going."

The three of us pause for a moment listening to the hustle and bustle outside.

"Here." Katniss shoves a poorly wrapped package in my direction. "An extra present."

"Thank you." I peel back the layers and look at the small booklet laid inside.

"It's a book of mind things." She shrugs, clearly ill-informed. "I thought they looked like something you could do."

I stare at the flimsy book quizzically, opening it to see a grid with squares filled in black and others white. Words are printed on the bottom.

"Oh I see." I murmur after a moment. "You have to write the answers into the correct boxes."

"Yeah that's what you do." Katniss nods with clearly no idea. "You do like it right?"

I laugh and nod. "Yes! I hope you liked my present to you?"

"Why wouldn't I like a nice warm pair of gloves?" She sighs happily. "Perfect for when I'm out – side in this weather." She swiftly changes sentences and I nod.

"I figured." I grin as we wander to the front door.

"Carumati!" Keeva trills loudly. "Come on dearie! We're riding down to the station."

I make a face of horror at Peeta and Katniss.

"Why don't we walk?" Katniss proposes. "You can meet my... cousins."

"Oh." I squirm uncomfortably. "Um, sure."

"Gale wouldn't harm a fly." Katniss assures me and I stare at her skeptically.

"Birds, small mammals..." I mouth to Peeta who chuckles, shaking his head.

As the Capitolites ride down to the station wanting to get out of here as quick as possible, I venture slowly around. I can't ignore the panic infused in my veins but I can try to put it to the back of my mind, focusing on the District so different to mine.

As we walk and catch up I notice the tension between my two fellow Victors, not mentioning the fact I am firmly planted between the pair as they point out various spots in 12.

We walk down a small snow covered lane filled with houses in various states of decay.

"This is where I used to live." Katniss pats the gate of one house, staring longingly for a moment before shaking her head and carrying on.

"This place is called the Seam." Peeta whispers to me. "It's where all the coal miners live."

I nod. "I used to live in the poor part of 5. All those chemical fumes." I wrinkle my nose at the memory.

After a few minutes wandering through back-alleys we reach a house indistinguishable from the rest aside from the slightly damp washing hanging on the snow covered line.

Katniss knocks on the door and a woman answers. She looks more like how I imagined Katniss's Mother to look, same olive toned skin and grey eyes.

"Katniss, Peeta and you must be Carumati." She smiles at me warmly and I smile nervously, waving awkwardly. "I'm Hazelle Hawthorne, Katniss's Aunt."

They must be related on Katniss's Father's side.

"I'll just get your cousins." Hazelle shoots me a final fond look before going around the corner away from our view.

Peeta stares down at his shoes silently and Katniss stares straight ahead like she's made of stone. I realize however awkward I feel something has happened to make it even more awkward for them. I stare at them suspiciously and startle when someone clears their throat. I turn and stare at the tall messy haired man in front of me. Dark eyebrows pulled together in irritation.

"Gale." Katniss smiles thinly. "This is Carumati. She-"

"I know who she is." He says gruffly. "I recognize her from the TV."

"Hi." I squeak and he glances at me for a second before spotting Peeta.

"I thought we could all walk to the station together." Katniss attempts to be cheery. "You could meet Caru properly-"

"Sure." He grumbles and grabs a thick leather jacket. "My Mom will follow in a minute; Rory and Vick are trying to untangle Posy's hair." He smiles fondly and we set off into the snow, descending into even more awkwardness.

Katniss glares at Gale from the corner of her eye and he huffs sharply, hands shoved deep in his pockets.

"So Ca..." He trails off.

"Carumati." I smile.

"Yeah." He swallows. "How are you liking District 12?"

"It's nice. Different from 5. You get real snow, and flowers and trees..." I sigh happily.

Gale nods curtly. "Yeah. District 12 is great."

Did I say something wrong? Why does Gale seemingly hate me already without no proper reason? Surely he should be happy I did all the things I did to keep his cousin alive? Perhaps he resents me for making Katniss try to commit suicide as those berries were my idea. Perhaps he just didn't want Katniss to have allies and thinks Peeta is far more than enough. One Victor was enough, _Katniss_ was enough, and two never mind one fellow Victors is just over complicating things. Perhaps he hates District 5, or ballet, or maybe he just hates gingers.

I can't help but laugh at the thought, and my three companions stare at me slightly worried.

"We're almost at the station." I say. "I don't want to leave."

* * *

><p>As Katniss and Peeta bid goodbye to everyone, I plant myself down on the edge of the platform behind the train and swing my legs back and forth, already filling in the book Katniss gave me. Hmm... I tap the pencil against my lips as I try to think of the answer to a particularly hard puzzle.<p>

"Carumati." I jolt and almost fall off the ledge.

"Hi." I smile tentatively at Gale.

"I want to talk." He says brusquely and I nod. He sits down next to me and for a minute sits in silence.

"I know you don't like me if that's what this is about. I just don't get _why._"

I stare at Gale who sighs.

"Fine you want to know the truth? I don't think you should have survived. You're only sitting here because of Katniss and her good will. It's because of you there's all this drama. Katniss has changed and-"

"How would there be less drama?" I say coldly. "Two victors instead of three? There would still be unrest in the Capitol. You need to blame someone Gale, so you're blaming me instead of looking at the larger picture."

"Which is what? I don't trust you. You've already proved you can't be trusted with your sneakiness and lies. You tried to get Katniss to commit suicide."

"I was the one trying to commit suicide to let her win. I told her not to copy me if you recall. Maybe I shouldn't have let Katniss choke them from my mouth. Then all your problems would be gone wouldn't they?" I smile sarcastically. "Because it's my fault Katniss is suffering from the arena, it's my fault the Capitol are angry, it's my fault Katniss and Peeta are the golden couple and you're left out in the cold-"

He stares at me angrily, eyes flashing. "Shut up."

"Grow up Gale." I scramble to my feet angrily. "And stop being a bully. Maybe before you start blaming other people for your misery you should look at yourself. Because it seems to me you're the reason Katniss isn't as close to you anymore and you're the reason Katniss and Peeta aren't getting along. I've saved Katniss's life more times then you, so if I were you I would be thanking me she's still breathing and not buried six feet under like you want me."

I grip my booklet tight in my shaking hands and glare at Gale as he stands towering over me. And the last blow, the one that I know is wrong even before I say it.

"How would your Father feel if he knew you wanted an innocent girl dead for no reason other than petty jealously?"

His face contorts in pain, becomes shadowed, but he still manages to have the last painful word.

"How would your Mother feel knowing she gave birth to a murderer?"

My hand rises furiously to slap his face but he's faster and grips my wrist hard. Just like Clove before she snapped it and I killed her-

I gasp for breath as my chest tightens and tears form in my eyes. I pull away from him and storm onto the train.

He's ridiculous trying to pin all his anger and pain and unwillingness to change on _me, _just because I'm here, just because I'm part of it, just because I'm _alive._

I hurtle into the bathroom and lean against the door clutching my chest as I wheeze. I can feel clammy sweat on my face and the ground around me swirls and dips. I slide to the floor, head spinning. Was this even real? Was this just a hallucination like the memories of Clove-

My chest tightens and restricts and tears slip down my cheeks as I gasp for breathe. I'm going insane, I'm having a mental breakdown all because of Gale Hawthorne-

I bury my trembling fingers into my scalp, trying desperately to cling to normalcy. He thinks I should be _dead – _Rue and Luc and **Clove – **bloody bubbles frothing from her mouth and I drop the knife...

My stomach lurches and grumbles and I can hear my heart hammering in my chest. Thudthudthudthudthud. I don't want to die and people shouldn't die like Clove and Rue and Luc and _my Mom._ She was gone, never to exist again, unnoticed by everybody in Panem bar her family and a few others and Gale wanted me to join her, maybe I _should _join her... No, no that's stupid, I need to calm down.

Deep breathes...

In...

Out...

In...

Out...

After a few minutes my breathing goes back to normal and I rub at my forehead exhausted, feeling weak and hot and awful.

I close my eyes and lean my head against the door.

I know one thing is certain.

Gale Hawthorne hates me? Well I hate him too.

* * *

><p><strong>So we're now on the Victory tour and Carumati and Gale hate each other. Look forward to some tense scenes between the two further on in the story! ;) <strong>

**Do you think Gale really hates Carumati for 'convincing' (i.e planting the idea for) Katniss to attempt the Nightlock? Or do you think Caru is right with Gale pinning all his bad emotions to the girl he doesn't know? They certainly both raise valid points: Gale about Caru's sneakiness and Caru about Gale failing to look at himself and then evaluate the situation. **

**Next chapter we're in District 11 and we have a touching scene between Caru and Thresh's family because after Foxface Thresh is my favourite tribute :) **

**I have one question to ask you about the Victory tour - do you want me to go by the book and do it in one or two chapters? Or do you want a chapter for each District? **

**Should be updated in the next week barring college work! **

**xXx**


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